History Rewritten
by kezztip
Summary: What if Hyde got his Season 1 wish and stole Donna away from Eric? And then what if Eric had turned to a certain tiny cheerleader instead? This starts out EJ but then the wind blows HJ You'll have to read it to find out who she ends up with!
1. Boy and Girl Meet

Title: History Rewritten

Disclaimer: Don't own, ain't getting paid – that goes for all the chapters

Pairing: Starting off as E/J but anything can happen (and it usually does!)

Summary: What if Hyde got his Season 1 wish and stole Donna away from Eric? And then what if Eric had turned to a certain tiny cheerleader instead? Be prepared for a long, strange journey as history is rewritten. It begins shortly before the pilot episode.

**A.N.Hello, back with a new story and a new direction, compared to my other ones. For me, the E/J fanfic stories run a very close second to the H/J ones so I thought why not do both in the one story? However, not promising who will end up with who at this stage as it is too early in the game to predict. Another thing, have you ever noticed how Jackie is influenced by the guy she dates? Where Jackie seems out of character in this story it's because Eric is rubbing off on her.**

**HISTORY REWRITTEN**

It was the day after Eric Forman's 16 year old world had been smashed to pieces that he met Jackie Burkhart.

Eric had harboured a secret love for Donna Pinciotti since he was 5 years old. That is, he thought it was a secret and strenuously denied it when people called him a "Donna lover". How could he admit to being in love with the same girl who used to beat him up and make him eat dirt? Granted, their relationship had grown into a close friendship, but she still treated him with the same good natured camaraderie that she extended to Hyde and Kelso. Just lately, however, he had caught a certain look in her eye which boosted his slender hope that this smoking hot girl could ever be attracted to a spindly dumbass like himself, and he had been slowly building his courage up to the point of asking her on a date.

_Yeah, right, like Donna would ever look twice at a dork like me_, Eric thought sadly to himself. In his mind's eye the horrific events of yesterday afternoon kept replaying in a loop that never ended. Eric had been playing basketball with his three oldest friends, Hyde, Kelso and Donna and attempting to teach the game to the new foreign exchange student they had befriended last week. It was just after his Dad had come out and yelled that every kid there who he wasn't legally obliged to house and feed should get his or her ass back home that _it _had happened. Donna had given Eric one of those confusing looks she had been treating him to lately, almost as if she was trying to tell him something. Of course, that something obviously wasn't the something Eric was hoping for as she then turned to Hyde and uttered the words that rocked the foundations of his existence.

"So Hyde, what time are you picking me up for our date tonight?"

Eric's eyes widened and his mouth gaped while all the while his best friend smirked knowingly at Donna. "Wha – you guys are – are you guys" – with a supreme effort Eric pushed the ugly word past his lips "dating?"

"Well sure," Donna replied with a toss of her red mane. "I mean, I think it's about time I started dating, don't you? I am sixteen, after all."

"What's the matter, Forman?" Hyde asked with his usual sarcastic inflection. "You didn't think a hot number like Donna was gonna sit around at home the rest of her life?"

Eric turned back to Donna, trying to regain his cool. He couldn't let her see how much this development was killing him. "I… I'm just surprised, that's all. I never knew there was anything like that between you two."

Donna avoided Eric's anguished eyes as she answered, "Well, I always thought it would be nice to have a boyfriend who started out as a close friend." She then raised her gaze to Eric's, again shooting him one of those pointed looks that he was too innocent in the ways of women to decipher.

"I'll see you at 8.00 tonight, babe," Hyde said casually, snaking an arm around Donna's waist and drawing her closer. He quickly planted a kiss on her lips which seemed to take her by surprise; she opened her mouth as if in protest but then, after a darting glance at Eric, remained silent. "Let's leave Forman to his own exciting plans. What is it tonight, man – leggoes or GI Joes?" With a parting smirk, Hyde walked away and with a guilty look, Donna returned to her house leaving a stunned Eric hugging a basketball to his broken heart.

Now it was the end of a crappy school day, where all he had to look forward to was hanging out in his basement listening to Hyde describe to him in detail exactly which base he had made it to last night with the girl Eric secretly adored. With his usual fairmindedness, Eric reminded himself that he could not blame Hyde for dating Donna as Hyde was not to know Eric had feelings for her (such was Eric's faith in his powers of concealment). Before he could face his best guy friend and best girl friend, he would need a place of solitude to pull himself together – his own bat cave, as it were. This was why he headed for the football field, seeking the traditional sobbing ground known to teenage students as "under the bleachers". This dark and hidden setting had witnessed more adolescent angst than he'd had foot-in-ass threats, which was why it should have come as no surprise to the downcast youth when he found a dark-haired girl weeping forlornly at his chosen destination.

"Oh… s-sorry," Eric stammered, embarrassed to stumble across her sorrow. He looked her over in the thin beams of light filtering through the planks above them. Her face was in shadow but he could make out long raven hair and a small, neat figure in a cheerleader outfit which displayed to perfection a pair of very fine looking legs. Dragging his eyes back to her face, he tentatively asked "Are you alright?"

The girl hastily swiped her sweater sleeve across her face and then faced the intruder with a haughty glare. "Of course I'm alright! Can't a girl have a minute to herself without some nosy doofus spying on her?"

"Hey, get over yourself, princess," Eric retorted. "I just came here for a bit of quiet time myself. Finding you here wasn't on the agenda." Eric regretted his words as he saw her lower lip start to wobble and a fresh wail pierce the air. "Oh God, please stop doing that. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" Later Eric would look back and try to pinpoint exactly how the girl had come to be wrapped in the comfort of his arms – had he opened them to her or did she just wiggle her way in? But however it happened, the boy found himself hugging this inconsolable maiden whose hair smelled pleasantly of cinnamon and vanilla. After a few minutes, the tear storm began to subside and the girl pushed herself away just enough so she could look up at her companion. She saw a sharp featured face, shaggy brown hair, a mouth a little too long and amazing green eyes. It was the kind of face that skirted a fine line between being handsome and homely. It only took the girl a quarter second to decide it was the former.

Eric stared into the girl's face and thought her very pretty. He wondered how much prettier she would be when her eyes were not red and her mouth smiling instead of drooping. He had the strangest impulse to find out. Without thought, he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Are you OK now?" he asked gently. The girl was silent, looking up at him with wide misty eyes. He suddenly remembered his manners and reached into his back pocket. "Here's a handkerchief for you so you can… you know…" Eric mimed wiping his own eyes. When the girl remained transfixed and did not take it, he assured her "It's clean – my mom gives me a fresh one every day."

The word "mom" seemed to shake the girl out of her trance, and she took the handkerchief from Eric and shyly dried her face with it. When Eric gestured towards a bench just outside their shadowy sanctuary, she nodded and followed him to it.

"So, I'm Eric, by the way – Eric Forman."

"I am Jackie Burkhart", the girl replied regally. When Eric failed to appear properly impressed by her announcement, she clarified "You know – Jack and Pam Burkhart's daughter? The richest family in Point Place?" When Eric still remained unmoved, she elaborated "One of the most popular girls in school? Voted best fan kicks by the other cheerleaders? Come on, you must have heard of me!"

"Sorry," Eric answered with a bemused little smile at this strange girl's overconfidence. "I don't really hang with that crowd."

Jackie sighed gustily. "Well, you're better off," she said gloomily. "They're mostly bitches," she added by way of explanation.

"Whoa, harsh words, Jackie. Are they the reason why you were crying?"

Jackie did not answer straight away. The real reason why she was crying was because her parents had had another huge fight last night involving a lot of shouting and breaking of liquor bottles, finally concluding in her mother angrily announcing she was leaving for somewhere hot and Latin where the men knew how to appreciate a beautiful woman with a flawless tan. How do you explain that to a strange boy with the kindest eyes you have ever seen? The answer – you didn't. Especially not if you were Jackie Burkhart, the girl with the perfect life. She settled for confessing the recent skirmish that had been the last straw to a bad day.

"Um… yeah," she said. "Cat Peterson was making fun of me because I've never… I mean, I'm not experienced like…" Jackie's tongue tied itself in knots of embarrassment as she realised how personal was the information that was slipping out. Way to go, Jackie, announce to a total stranger you're a virgin! "She was just jealous of my hair, the colourless blonde skank," she finished lamely.

Eric pretended not to notice her slip, though he smiled at the thought that he was not the only person who got burned by his own words. Nor was he the last virgin in the school, apparently. He was starting to feel a weird sense of kinship with this Jackie Burkhart.

"Ah yes, Cat Peterson – isn't she the Head Bitchleader?" He was pleased when his joke enticed a watery chuckle from Jackie. "I wouldn't waste my time on anything she has to say. The girl is drunk with head cheerleader power."

"If she could be taught not to use her power..." Jackie murmured to herself. Eric looked at her curiously. Did she just - ?

"She will use it always," he responded formally. Jackie looked startled for a moment before fixing him with a challenging eye.

"And she would destroy you and your kind…"

"…or you would be forced to destroy her, to save yourselves," Eric chimed in at the end, pointing an accusatory finger at her. "Star Trek, Season 1, Episode 8! Oh my God, You're a Trekkie!"

"Sshhh! Not so loud! You'll blow my cover," Jackie admonished. "Only geeks watch Star Trek. Or at least, only geeks admit to it."

"Oh really? Well, I'm starting to think that underneath all the cheerleading and popularity, you're a closet geek," Eric teased. He congratulated himself on his earlier assumption; she was much prettier when she smiled. Breathtaking, even.

Jackie slapped Eric's arm. "Shut up! I am not!"

"Any girl who can quote the Trek like that has definite geek tendencies," Eric stated. "Welcome to the other side."

"For your information, I hate space.. I only like that show because Captain Kirk's shirt gets torn in a fight in just about every episode. And that man has some sexy abs," Jackie waggled her eyebrows comically as she said this, sparking more laughter from Eric who was fast forgetting his depression.

"You know, I hear there's this big movie coming out later this year sort of like Star Trek, but with awesome special effects. It's called Star Wars."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it should be pretty cool. Maybe we could go see it when it's out."

"What, you mean like a date?" Jackie asked.

"What? D-date? I didn't mean… I mean, if you were going to see it anyway and you wanted some company I could…"

Jackie cut Eric's blundering excuses short, simply saying, "I'd like that."

"Really?"

"Sure. Except it might be some time before this "Star Wars" (Jackie made the quotation marks gesture with her fingers) comes out. Maybe we could see a movie that's out now – you know, like a practice run."

"Why, Miss Burkhart! Are you asking me out?"

"Oh no! Pretty girls like me don't have to ask boys out. Of course, they have been known to drop subtle hints…"

And so the boy and girl laughed and flirted with each other, each glad to turn away from their sorrows to find solace in a new friendship which had the potential of becoming something more.


	2. Hyde & Donna, sitting in a tree

_A.N. Thanks for all the reviews and encouragement. Glad to see I'm not the only E/J shipper out there. Now you may not like Hyde in this chapter although my worst enemy couldn't call him out of character as I've put him into the worst aspects of his Season 1 character. That being said, I think there is still a kind of charisma to him even when he's being a scumbag. I watched Dead Man's Chest last night so my writing may have been influenced by the ultimate anti-hero, Captain Jack Sparrow._

Chapter 2

"I don't know about this plan of yours, Hyde," Donna said nervously.

Hyde sighed in exasperation. "For the fifteenth time, Donna, it's foolproof. Or in the case of Forman, dumbass-proof."

The new couple were sitting together on the basement sofa, their body language telling very different stories. Hyde had his arm draped over Donna's shoulders, his body relaxed in a nonchalant manner, while Donna was hunched forward tensely in reaction to the contact from her 'boyfriend'.

"I just don't think it's fair to deceive him like this," Donna whined. "He looked so hurt last night when we told him."

"Look, Donna, when you came to me for my help with the whole 'Eric situation' you agreed to put yourself in my hands," Hyde squeezed her shoulder as he said "hands". "Trust me, after last night Forman will be scratching at your backdoor, begging for you like the lovesick puppy he is."

"I just think that with Eric the straightforward approach might work better. He's not that great at picking up on hints," Donna said, thinking back over the many anvils she had dropped these last few months to let Eric know that advances from him would not be unwelcome.

"Well, you could walk up to him and say 'Oh, please make a woman of me, scrawny neighbour boy'" Hyde suggested in a girlish falsetto. "Of course, he would own you the rest of your days if you follow that path, but suit yourself." Donna expressed her opinion of this idea with a punch to Hyde's forearm. "Or, you can go with the tried and true 'Make out with his best friend' tactic which has a guaranteed 98.5 per cent success rate."

"Make out?" Donna yelped. "I thought we were just going to pretend to date – you never said we'd have to make out!"

"Donna, Donna, Donna," Hyde breathed, shaking his head in disappointment. "How are we going to sell ourselves as a couple if you jump ten feet at the very thought of making out with me? Without the physical stuff, Eric's going to see right through what we're doing. Then, once he's finished laughing his ass off, he'll tease you over it until our 25th high school reunion. Is that what you want?"

"Of course not – it's just weird, you know. I mean, we're friends! Don't you think kissing – and stuff – would be too weird?"

"That's a sacrifice I'm prepared to make," Hyde replied, taking off his sunglasses. "Still, I think it's best we put in a bit of practice – you need to look perfectly comfortable kissing me if we want this scheme to work." Donna looked as though she was about to register another protest but Hyde stopped it by planting his mouth over hers. At first she kept her lips firmly closed, but he waited her out, tickling her lips with the tip of his tongue, until her defences weakened and her mouth parted slightly. He then proceeded to employ his best kissing skills, which were a combination of raw talent and extensive practice on girls who had been kissed a lot. As he coaxed a response from the untutored girl, his mind was shouting in triumph "Yes!"

Hyde held no illusions about what he was doing. He knew this was the girl his best friend had been panting over since grade school and that in the best friend rule book this was a big NO in capital letters with 50 exclamation marks. Luckily, Hyde was blessed with the ability to rationalise the scummiest behaviour into something reasonable. All's fair in love and war – that was a good one. How about the fact that Hyde was the kind of guy hot chicks were supposed to have torrid crushes on and Eric was the type to attract fat girls who would be happy to hand him the glue while he built his model airplanes. Whatever, man. All he knew was that for the last year Donna's body had been driving him wild and when you consider that attraction with the fact that she was the only girl he could actually stand talking to, it was clear his need for her was much greater than Forman's. Although there was a good chance this Cosmo mantrap might actually work and Forman would get off his ass and make a move on Donna. But if that happened, at least Hyde would be able to gloat that he had taken Donna's first kiss – and more besides, with any luck.

Donna was abruptly pulled out of her sensual haze when the basement door opened and she looked up to see Eric staring at her and Hyde. Sadness was clearly etched on his face at the sight before him, which both twisted Donna's heart with pity and gave her a secret thrill. The plan was working!

"Hey, Forman," Hyde said breezily. "Where have you been? Thought you'd be home hours ago."

"Oh, I just got talking to someone and lost track of time," Eric answered. "I guess your date went pretty well, huh?"

"What can I say, Forman? Some people just belong together." He looked into Donna's eyes as he said this, the usual smug smirk missing from his face, and she had an uneasy twinge. _It's all part of the act_, she reaffirmed silently. But she never realised what a good actor Hyde was. Coupled with the fact that Eric's hangdog look of defeat was tempting her to confess everything to him, she decided she'd better run like the wind away from the awkward situation. Besides, her absence would give Hyde the opportunity to subtly point Eric in the right direction, that is, towards her.

"Wow, is that the time? I'd better get started on that biology assignment," Donna said, untangling herself from Hyde's arms.

"Stick with me, babe, and I'll teach you all about biology – I'm talking in-depth research."

Donna gave a weak smile to disguise her discomfort, and hastily exited the basement. Eric's eyes stayed on the door for a long moment after she had passed through it before he turned to Hyde.

"So… you and Donna."

"Yep."

"I never knew you were into her, Hyde. You never said anything"

"Oh, did I forget to show you that entry in my feelings journal? What the hell, Forman. I don't go gushing about every emotion like some people."

"Spare me the zen speech. It's just – I care about her, Hyde. You do know that, right?" Eric watched his friend closely but the sunglasses were back on and Hyde's face was blank.

"Care about her how?" Hyde asked. _Here comes a good opportunity to keep my promise to Donna_.

"That I… you know what I mean… don't you?"

"Sure," Hyde answered, mentally dropkicking the opportunity far into the distance. "Like a friend. Just the same way she cares about you. Don't worry about Donna, Forman. This thing between us has been building for a while and it's pretty solid."

"A while?"

"C'mon! I'm sure you picked up on those looks she's been giving me. You'd have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to sense the heat between us, man."

"Oh… of course," Eric said woodenly. He collapsed onto the couch next to Hyde and stared at the TV set despondently, unaware that it was not even turned on. Hyde did the honours, hoping Gilligan's madcap antics would drown out the death rattle of his conscience.

After fifteen minutes of silence, he ventured to change the subject. "So, who were you talking to?"

"What?"

"The guy whose sparkling conversation made you two hours late – who was it? Some geeky Trek-head jabbering away in Klingon, I'll bet."

Eric gave a small smile at this. "Well, you're half right. Except it wasn't a guy."

"What's this? Eric Forman plucks up the nerve to venture into enemy territory? I thought girls were the scary gender for you." In spite of his teasing, this development went a long way to easing Hyde's remorse. If Eric found himself a girl, then he wouldn't be breaking the best friend code regarding Donna. Of course, he wasn't being that great a friend to Donna, but the code was mainly a guy thing anyway.

"Well, this girl was easier to talk to than most. We actually have a lot in common, which is something I never thought I'd say about a cheerleader."

"A cheerleader? Way to go, Forman," Hyde commended. "Are you gonna challenge Kelso's record and make your way through the entire squad?"

"Shut up, Hyde," Eric said in annoyance. "She's not that kind of girl."

"Forman, all chicks are 'that kind of girl' and those that aren't just haven't met 'that kind of guy' yet – but they will one day, trust me." Hyde chuckled at his own wit. "I'll bet Kelso has already sampled her wares. I don't think there's a cheerleader out there he hasn't done it with. But we all need a hobby, don't we?"

"He hasn't done it with Jackie," Eric said decisively.

"And how do you know that?"

"Because she's a vir – "

"A virgin?" Hyde finished Eric's indiscreet admission. "A virgin cheerleader? Ooh, does she know the Easter Bunny? I'll bet her best friend is the tooth fairy."

"Tell me, how does a 16 year old get so jaded?" Eric asked with a reluctant laugh. "I thought it took decades to achieve that level of misogyny."

"Growing up with my mother was like a hothouse effect on my contempt for women," Hyde explained. "A lifetime of knowledge of the sluttiness of the fairer sex is crammed into my noggin."

"Then what about Donna? I hope you she's not subject to your harlot theories," Eric said uneasily.

"Of course not! Donna is… well, she's different. She's like one of us, man – except she's got those amazing jugs a'poppin'. She's the perfect woman – body of a rising porn star and the mind of a man."

"Somehow, I can't see Donna, champion of women's rights, being flattered by that," Eric remarked.

"So, this Jackie chick… you ask her out?"

"Yeah, I did… or she asked me out, I'm not sure. We're going to the movies tomorrow night."

"Good… good," Hyde said thoughtfully. "Best of luck, man – I really hope it works out for you."

"Thanks, Hyde," Eric said, touched by the warmth in his friend's words. "Maybe I'll bring her back to the basement after the movie to meet everybody."

Hyde envisioned this scenario – Donna would freak out if she knew Eric had started dating someone else and would probably confess all to Eric to stop him. Hyde couldn't have his time with Donna cut short, not before he had a chance to make her forget about Eric and fall for him.

"I wouldn't do that, man," Hyde cautioned. "Best way to scare off a first date is bringing her home to meet the family and friends. Give it some time, make sure it's the real thing before you go making introductions. Otherwise you're going to look pretty stupid if you're making grand announcements and she's forgotten your name by next week."

Eric's sensitive soul shuddered at the thought. "So you think I should keep it quiet?"

"Until there's something to shout about, yeah."

"Huh. Makes sense." Eric looked over at his best friend with a grateful smile. "Thanks, Hyde."

"For what?"

"You know – for being the guy in our group who's always listening to everybody's problems and handing out advice."

"What can I say, man," Hyde answered, folding his arms behind his head and putting his feet up. "I'm a giver."

_A.N.If you like it, let me know!_


	3. Smokey and the Bandit

**A.N.I thought to myself what movie should I send Jackie and Eric to, and the obvious answer was the only movie they were ever "on the same page" about (even though this story is set in 1976 and I think the movie came out in 1977 but let's not nitpick). Thanks for all the feedback as always.**

Ch 3 - Smokey and the Bandit

"I am so glad you talked me into seeing that movie, Eric," Jackie said happily. "I never would have thought that a movie that started with a bride running out on her own wedding could be so good!"

"Yeah, I was a bit afraid the ushers were going to kick us out when you started yelling at Sally Field to quit ruining the most magical day of her life," Eric replied as he put a hand on the small of Jackie's back to guide her out the door of the movie theatre.

"Sorry about that. I just got caught up in the moment. But she was totally right to ditch that doofus for Burt Reynolds. I mean with that hair, that body and that Trans Am – she really traded up."

"You know, I hear they went through three versions of the Sheriff's car making that movie. In the end they had to piece together the remains of those three cars to make one more Leman."

"That's interesting," Jackie said, slipping her hand into Eric's as they walked down Main Street together. "I like cars."

"You will get on well with my Dad then," Eric replied as his heart rate notched up at the touch of Jackie's hand. "He loves cars like his own children – better, in fact."

Jackie smiled at Eric's slip. _You will_, not _you would_. Future tense.

"So where would you like to eat?" Eric asked.

"I don't know – the Hub?"

"No, we can't," Eric vetoed, not wanting to run into his friends at their usual diner. In reply to her look of surprise, he elaborated "It's not… special enough." He was rewarded with a brilliant smile.

"You're right. We should go somewhere special."

"How about that new Chinese restaurant on Lester Street? I remember my mom was nagging my dad to take her there. She says it's so classy the napkins are made of cloth, not paper."

"Ooh, yes. Chinese food is so exotic. Only I hope the chef is not really Chinese?"

"Are you kidding? This is Point Place. The only way a foreigner would be allowed into a kitchen would be as a dish-washer."

This being settled, they walked to the restaurant, were seated at a table, were five minutes later seated at a more "special" table at Jackie's insistence, and then over a tasty dish of chicken chow mein fell into an easy pattern of conversation.

"37 times?" Jackie repeated in amazement.

"Yep," Eric confirmed.

"How does someone accidentally set fire to themselves 37 times?"

"Kelso's gifted that way," Eric explained. "He also holds the record for most falls off the water tower, glueing himself to things and number of different girls he's made out with in 24 hours."

"Ewww!" Jackie wrinkled her nose at this. "I can't believe I used to have a crush on him," she said.

"You did?"

"When I was about 8, yeah. You know, now I think of it, we have met before because Michael took me to your house to play 'Doctor'."

"Really?" Eric said, trying to remember the occasion.

"Don't you remember?"

"Well, it's just that he'd bring little girls over to play 'Doctor' pretty regularly," Eric explained. "Then as he got older the girls got bigger but the game stayed the same." From the disgust on Jackie's face, Eric knew he would not have a problem with Kelso stealing Jackie from him. Still, just to make sure, he asked teasingly "So there's no lingering feelings between you two, I take it?"

"Hardly," Jackie said with a laugh. "I'm kind of finicky, you see. I can't even touch an egg because it came out of a chicken's butt so how could I touch a guy who's kissed a billion girls and is probably covered in their slut germs?"

"Well, at least I have that over Kelso," Eric joked. "You won't catch any slut germs from me."

"Are you saying that I'll have the opportunity to be catching any kind of germs from you?" Jackie asked with a flirtatious smile which dried all the moisture in Eric's throat.

"Well... that is, if the evening goes well… I mean, I don't want to pressure you or… hey, fortune cookies," Eric finished in a squeaky voice. He nervously crumbled one of the cookies with fingers suddenly sweaty.

"What does it say?" Jackie asked. _Please let it say "You will find happiness with a new love"._

"Patience and fortitude are called for as many surprises await you," Eric read out. "I wonder what that means?"

The universe answered Eric's question.

"What do you mean there's no free tables?" growled a familiar voice which caused dread to curdle in Eric's gut. "Don't tell me to come back in an hour! They're showing highlights from the Packers game in an hour so I want this whole damn experience over with in the next 45 minutes!"

"Red, honey," chirped Kitty, "I'm sure the nice man is doing all he can. Maybe if we just wait a few minutes – oh my goodness, there's Eric! Ha ha ha ha! Well, doesn't this work out perfectly."

Eric's father glared over at his son, tossing up which would be more annoying, sharing dinner with Eric or missing out on his football fix. "Oh crap," he surrendered. "Bring two extra chairs over to that table," he barked at the trembling waiter, "and get this straight – if I can see the tablecloth through the bottom of my beer glass at any time, the only tip you'll get from me will be my foot in your ass."

"Eric, fancy meeting you here," Kitty cried excitedly as waiters hurried to seat the troublesome new customers. "And who is this pretty little thing? Are you on a date?" Kitty turned to her husband. "Red, look, Eric has a girlfriend!"

"Mom," Eric moaned, knowing his face was turning bright red. "This is just the first date. We're not – Oh God, I'm so sorry, Jackie."

"Whatever for?" Jackie asked in honest bemusement. "I never get tired of people telling me I'm pretty. Or little." She turned her 100 watt smile on her date's parents. "Hi, I'm Jackie."

"Well, you can call me Kitty, and this here is Eric's father, Red." She nudged the grouch next to her. "Say something, Red."

"Hello," Red said gruffly, before turning his frown onto Eric. "How on earth did you get the best table in the house?" Red was honestly mystified. "One look at you and any seasoned waiter would take you for a 'table next to the swinging bathroom door' kind of guy. Did you slip them money? You know I don't like you throwing money away on things that don't give you a solid return like tips and gambling and…"

"The church plate?" Eric finished.

"Watch it, smart mouth." Red warned.

"Actually, Dad, you can thank Jackie for this table. She managed to persuade the waiter to throw away its reservation sign with just a look." Eric turned to Jackie. "Hey Jackie, show them 'the look'." Jackie obligingly fixed her face into a withering glare which caused Kitty to jump in her seat while Eric looked on proudly. "My mother taught me that," she said modestly.

Red looked the small brunette over approvingly. "Nice to meet a girl who doesn't take any crap. Eric, you should stick with this one, she'll balance out your takes-everyone's-crap personality."

"Gee, I wonder who made me turn out like that?" Eric replied, rolling his eyes.

"Now, boys, that's enough of the snarky-mouth from both of you," Kitty refereed. "Now, have you two ordered yet?"

"We'd finished our dinner and were just about to leave," Eric answered, starting to stand up from his chair.

"But – " Jackie cut in, moved by the disappointment on Kitty's face, "we could stay a little while longer for dessert."

"Oh, yay!" Kitty rejoiced. "Now Jackie, I want to know everything! How did you two meet, how long have you known each other, how did Eric look when he first asked you out. Did he look adorable? He did, didn't he?"

In spite of this unpromising beginning, Eric found the next 30 minutes much more bearable than he had anticipated. When the subject of cars came up, Jackie mentioned that her father had promised to buy her a Mustang for her birthday which was good for a full 15 minutes of debating Mustangs verses Firebirds. Neither did Jackie seem too phased by Kitty's more cringe-worthy comments, for she found Kitty's smothering love for her son rather sweet. Such maternal affection was a strange and wonderful thing to her.

"Well, we really should get going," Eric announced, and this time Jackie followed his lead.

"About time," Red said but the words lacked his usual menace. "Be careful driving the Vista Cruiser home – I noticed there's ice on Maple Drive."

"Is that genuine concern for my welfare in your voice?" Eric asked in exaggerated amazement.

"Of course not, dumbass," Red said. "My concern is all for the car." Perhaps it was because of the steady supply of beer he had ingested but Red could not prevent a rusty smirk as he said this, belying his callous words. Eric responded with a wide grin and shook his father's hand before turning to his mother to kiss her cheek goodbye.

"Goodbye, honey. Don't forget to walk Jackie all the way to her door. That's the gentlemanly thing to do," Kitty advised, hugging her boy. She then turned her embrace on Jackie which took the girl by surprise, as warm hugs were not much of a family tradition for the Burkharts. "I'm throwing a surprise birthday party for Eric in two weeks," Kitty whispered into Jackie's ear. "Promise you'll come?"

Jackie returned the hug gladly, blown away by the warmth and acceptance of this motherly angel. She nodded in agreement before taking Eric's arm and leaving Mr and Mrs Forman behind.

"So…" Eric began as they drove to Jackie's house in the Cruiser. "What's it going to take?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what's it going to take to erase the last 30 minutes from your memory bank so I can keep pretending I'm an average all American boy and not some loser with an over-protective mother and a father who wants to make me wear my ass for a hat?"

Jackie laughed heartily at Eric's description of Red until Eric was joining in. When she had recovered, she said "All I saw was a boy whose parents think the sun rises and sets on him."

"Are you kidding? My mother, maybe, but my dad…"

"I get the feeling that your dad wouldn't mind what kind of table you sit at or which way you drive home if he didn't really care about you. Believe me, it's better to get too much attention than too little." Jackie's face shadowed as she said this but Eric was driving and so did not see.

"Yeah, well I wouldn't mind testing that theory out for myself," Eric replied as he pulled up in front of Jackie's house. Running around to open Jackie's door for her, he then offered her his arm.

"May I walk you to your door, milady?" he asked suavely.

"Why, Eric Forman, how downright gentlemanly of you," Jackie replied in a Southern belle voice.

As they walked arm in arm, Jackie said thoughtfully "You know, this is the nicest first date I've ever had."

"Really?" Eric was pleased. "I'd say the same thing except it wouldn't mean as much because – well, this is the first first date I've ever had."

"Really? Me too!" Jackie and Eric laughed together, partly at the coincidence and partly because they were young and the world was a new and shining thing laid out for their pleasure.

"There is a drawback to being equally inexperienced," Eric said as they stepped up to Jackie's front porch. "Take, for example, the goodnight kiss."

Jackie held her breath. "I'm listening,"

Eric turned to face her and looked into her eyes. He noticed with some surprise that they were actually different colours, one green and one blue. He thought to himself that from now on eyes that were the same colour would just seem too blah.

"What I mean to say," Eric continued, leaning in a little closer, "With no prior experience, how will I know if I'm doing it right?"

Jackie's eyes drifted closed as Eric's mouth slowly moved towards her own. "Better to ask yourself, how will I know if you're doing it wrong?" she murmured before his lips closed over hers. _So soft_, she thought, as tingles shot through her body, radiating from where his lips and hands made contact and shooting from her fingertips. As the kiss finished and Eric drew back, he knew from the wonderment on Jackie's face that, in spite of his father's opinion of him, he was capable of doing something right. The young couple grinned like idiots at each other for at least 20 seconds, both inordinately proud of themselves for discovering this amazing other person. Then Eric backed away, almost missing the last step on the porch because his eyes were fixed elsewhere. He was halfway down the driveway when he realised he hadn't made arrangements for the next time they would see each other.

"Jackie!" he called out, a touch desperately.

"What?" she responded eagerly.

"Um… what are you doing tomorrow?"

"I don't know, Eric. What am I doing tomorrow?" she answered coyly.

"Whatever you want," he said.

"Good answer," she laughed. "Meet me at the roller-rink at 12.00 ?"

"I'll be there with bells on – or at least, skates," he said, goofy from teen hormones.

"Goodnight, Eric Forman."

"See you tomorrow, Jackie Burkhart."

As Eric slipped into the driver's seat, humming a little bluegrass tune from Smokey and the Bandit, it suddenly occurred to him that he had not thought of Donna the whole time that he was with Jackie.


	4. Eric's Birthday

**A.N.Another chapter for you guys – and the drama is starting to stir!**

Chapter 4 – Eric's Birthday

"Okay, I saw seven bags of potato chips in the kitchen cupboard this morning," Eric said. "A fact which supports my conspiracy theory that my mom is planning a surprise party for me."

"A party?" Fez repeated, sitting stiffly at attention in his best shirt and tightest slacks. "We don't know anything about a party."

Eric ran a frustrated hand through his hair as he looked around at his friends who were all sitting around in awkward poses. "Oh, give it up! I mean, just look at you guys."

"What are you talking about man?" Kelso answered, holding himself immobile. "We're just hanging out like always except we're dressed nice but that doesn't mean anything."

Although Eric had been disappointed when Jackie had said she would be unable to come over this evening because she had to visit a sick friend, he was now relieved that she would not be present to witness one of his mother's surprise birthday parties which were more suited to a 9 year old than to a man of his 17 years. They had been seeing each other every day for the past two weeks and things were going so well that sometimes it made Eric nervous. Going by past history, something usually went very wrong at about this point.

Eric looked around at his friends who were all trying to appear innocent. They actually thought they were keeping this party a secret from him. Eric had satisfaction in knowing that he was the one who had successfully kept a secret from them, with the exception of Hyde. Truth be told, he felt secure enough in his and Jackie's relationship that he would have announced it to his friends a week ago, but at this stage it was nice to have Jackie all to himself. She looked at him so admiringly, as though he sat astride some white horse – or unicorn – that he wanted to revel in her adoration for as long as possible before she got to see him through his friends' eyes as Eric the scrawny geek.

Eric's thoughts were interrupted by his mother's voice calling from the top of the basement stairs. "Hi, kids! Um, I need your help with something. Donna, Michael, Steven, young man with an accent could you give me a hand?" Eric stood up with his friends. "Not you Eric!"

As his friends filed upstairs Eric sat on the sofa, twitching at the thought of the horrors to come.

"God, I can't take it!" He sprinted for the back door of the basement, only to find Red standing guard there.

"But I..." 

"No." 

"No, I..." 

His father wouldn't budge. "No!" 

When his mother called him into the living room, Eric walked up the stairs with the stooped shoulders of the condemned man.

"SURPRISE!"

Eric rearranged his features into the appropriate expression for his mother's sake. "Wow! I had no idea!" he marvelled. His eyes took in the colourful streamers, balloons, the party hats, the plastic clown-patterned tablecloths and finally a large birthday cake covered in M&Ms sitting on the card table. When suddenly…

"Surprise!" a single voice yelled, jumping up from behind the cake. Kitty had hidden Jackie there before the gang came upstairs so they were as unprepared as Eric.

"Jackie!" Eric cried in genuine amazement. "What are you… I thought you couldn't make it…" Eric rushed towards the bubbly brunette as he spoke. She met him halfway and threw herself into his arms.

"Did you really think I would miss my boyfriend's birthday party?" she said just before she kissed him. Both Jackie and Eric were so wrapped up in each other that they did not hear the crash as Donna's glass slipped from her hand. Her shocked gasp was covered by the exclamations of Kelso and Fez.

"Eric has a girlfriend?" Fez cried.

"More than that – Eric has a _hot _girlfriend," Kelso marvelled. "I never saw that coming."

"But I thought him and Donna – ow!"

"Sorry, Fez," Hyde said. "Was that your foot?" He looked over towards his own 'girlfriend' to see her eyes fixed on Eric, her face a mask of pain. His heart twisted in pity for her with a side of guilt for himself. "Hey Donna," he said to her in a quiet undertone, putting an arm around her waist, "do you want to borrow my sunglasses?"

"Huh?" she said, waking from her stunned state. Then she understood what he was hinting and by great force of will calmed her expression so it betrayed nothing.

Eric turned towards his friends with his arm proudly around Jackie. "Guys, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Jackie Burkhart. Jackie, this is Fez…" The foreign kid made a bow to the beautiful girl which would have been more suitable to Versailles Palace than Point Place. When Jackie bestowed a pleased smile upon him for the romantic gesture, he promptly laid his heart at her feet for eternity.

"And I believe you've met Kelso here," Eric gestured to the handsome doofus.

Kelso sidled up to Jackie flashing his best "girl-bait" grin. "I don't think so, Eric. I'd never forget a girl this fine. Unless I was drunk. Or high. Or if a finer girl walked by and gave me the look – "

"Moving right along," Eric interrupted, "we have my oldest and best friends, Hyde and his girlfriend, Donna."

"Hey," Hyde greeted succinctly.

"Hi," Donna said in a monotone.

"Oh wow, you guys are Eric's friends _and _you're dating?" Jackie said enthusiastically. "That's _so _cool! Now we can go on couple dates together and go to the disco together and swap relationship advice with each other. Ooh, they're having a couples rollerboogie contest next Saturday – let's all enter together! Although, I'm warning you Donna, don't set your heart on that imitation brass trophy because Eric and I are hot stuff on skates."

"Rollerboogie, Forman?" Hyde queried with raised brows.

"Now Jackie, you know I told you rollerboogie is just for girls," Eric said with a fake laugh. He then enunciated in Jackie's ear in a low voice "Love it, definitely in!"

"Donna, you know what you and I should do?" Jackie cried, hit by another brilliant idea.

"Errr, become pen pals? You'd have to move to another country, but – "

"No, you goon," Jackie laughed. "We should do makeovers! Well, that is I should give you a makeover because I obviously don't need any help with my appearance."

"But I do?" Donna finished, amazed at the nerve of this boyfriend stealing bitch.

"Donna, it's OK. You're the only girl in a group of boys and then there's your whole masculine build so it's only natural you would dress like a boy. But don't worry, Donna, because I am going to be a shining example to you of how to be pretty!"

Donna stared in shock for a moment before making a sudden move towards the new girl but before she could deck her Hyde grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the front door saying "Donna, let's go outside, it's getting kind of – violent in here." Just before they exited the front door, Donna heard Jackie ask Eric in honest bafflement "Did I say something wrong?"

"That bitch!" Donna exploded as soon as the door was closed behind them. "Did you see that? Did you hear that… that…"

"Bitch?" Hyde supplied.

"YES!" Donna howled. "What the hell is Eric doing with that shallow stuck up midget? How could he do this to me! Why would he do this to me? You said he was coming around… you told me if we just kept it up long enough he would get fed up and make his move."

As Donna turned eyes of accusation on him, Hyde was inspired by another stroke of Machiavellian genius more cunning than the last. Yet he hesitated a moment before resorting to it, knowing he was the one responsible for the pain Donna now felt. Was extending the time he had with Donna as her fake boyfriend worth betraying her trust again? As he thought back to their make out sessions, admittedly staged for Eric's benefit but hot nonetheless, he decided the answer was a resounding yes. Plus, he was still convinced that with enough time, he could win Donna's stubborn neighbour-boy-loving heart.

"And how do you know that this isn't Eric's move?" he said slowly.

"Say what?"

"Think about it, Donna. Eric's pretty smart in his way. What if he's begun to suspect that you and I aren't the loving couple we appear to be? I mean, after those come-hither looks you'd been throwing his way, and the prodding I've been giving him behind the scenes, I'm thinking he's finally put 2 and 2 together."

"You think he knows? But why is he with…"

"Jackie? Can't you see it, Donna – he's smoking us out! He deliberately picked the hottest, most annoying girl he could find to make you blow your cool and admit everything!" Hyde shook his head in admiration. "It's pure brilliance."

"That sneaky bastard," Donna breathed. "Well, if he thinks he's getting away with this, he – wait a minute, you think she's hot?"

"What? No, of course not."

"But you just said – "

"Focus, Donna, we have to come up with a countermove and turn the tables on him. Now, what can we do to make Eric think we're for real and he's in danger of losing you to me?"

Donna thought for a moment while Hyde waited for her to reach the conclusion he had led her towards. As it came to her, she turned towards Hyde with steely determination in her eyes.

"There's only one thing to do – hit him hard and hit him fast. We have to be all over each other every time Eric's in the room."

"Yeah," Hyde agreed. "Or even when Eric's in the next room, just in case he walks in on us. There's nothing more convincing than being taken by surprise."

"Exactly," Donna said. "From now on, I'm going to completely ignore him and shower you with all my freaking love and affection. That'll show that twitchy dumbass. He is going to pay for bringing that condescending twit into our lives."

"Yeah, but I'd cool it with the open hatred there, Big D," Hyde advised. "Remember, play it cool – you're not interested in him so you've got no reason to be jealous of his fake girlfriend."

"You're right," Donna said, drawing in a deep breath. "Well, let's go back in there and give Eric his birthday present."

"And by birthday present you mean?"

"My tongue down your throat."

"Just checking."

Donna and Hyde walked in to find Jackie seated on the couch and surrounded by admiring males like Scarlet O'Hara at the Wilkes barbecue.

"Oh, and I'm also the first freshman ever to make it onto the varsity cheerleading squad."

"You're a cheerleader?" Kelso protested. "How can that be? I know all the cheerleaders. I mean, I really _know_ them. How did I miss you?"

"Well, she is very small," Eric said drolly. "You were probably looking over her head." He chuckled as his girlfriend slapped his shoulder in mock indignation. He looked up to see Donna and Hyde standing nearby, their arms slung around each other. "Hey, where did you guys go?"

"Sorry, Eric, but nature called," Donna replied with a smile meant to reek of sexual satisfaction.

"You went to the bathroom on the Forman's porch?" Kelso asked stupidly.

"No, you dumbass, we were making out," she growled. "I can only go so long without a dose of my man's lovin'." She then grabbed Hyde's face between her hands and french kissed him forcefully. Watching them, Eric still felt a twinge of envy of Hyde. It was not easy to let go of a lifelong obsession. Then again, it is also hard to miss what you never had and a part of him had never believed that Donna would see him the same way he saw her. He suddenly realised his own girlfriend was talking to him.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I said, come out onto the back porch with me. I want to give you your present."

Glad to get away from the Hyde-Donna spectacle, Eric took Jackie's hand as she led him outside. He hoped she didn't hear Kelso say in a loud whisper to Fez "Ohh! Maybe it's the big gift! You know, the really big gift! You guys know what I'm saying when I say the big gift, right?"

"Happy birthday, Eric," Jackie said sweetly as she handed him a prettily wrapped package. Eric tore the paper off to find…

"Oh, a scented candle!" He examined the gift. "This is very cool!"

"You really like it?" Jackie asked apprehensively.

"Oh definitely," Eric answered, touched by how much his reaction meant to her. "I'd light it if I had matches."

"Here," Jackie said, producing a box and striking one. Cupping her hand over the flame, she carefully lit the candle with the solemnity of a novice nun. As the flickering light lit up her heart shaped face, Eric felt something inside his chest shift and he smiled at her.

"Thank you, Jackie," he said quietly, and then leaned forward over the candle to gently cover her lips with his own. They had had plenty of memorable kisses over the last two weeks, but this one held something deeper than what had gone before. And they both felt it.

**Come on all you opinionated readers out there – you know what to do!**


	5. Double Date

Chapter 5

"So Forman, how much longer are we gonna have to deal with the whole 'Jackie' experience?" Hyde asked Eric snidely.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Eric retorted.

It had been a month since Eric's birthday and, while most of the basement gang had accommodated themselves to its newest member, Hyde had been the main dissenter. Even Donna seemed to have formed some kind of quasi-friendship with the peppy cheerleader, who had bombarded Donna with so many friendly (though sometimes tactless) overtures that Donna felt unable to openly criticise Jackie without sounding like a bitch. Jackie was oblivious to any underlying resentment from her boyfriend's best friend; if Donna seemed sometimes cold to her, Jackie would put it down to more of her rough, masculine ways and redouble her efforts to feminize her new gal pal. However, Hyde was never one to be bound by the social boundaries of politeness and he had lately been finding the princess a royal pain.

"Where do I start?" Hyde answered Eric. "How about the fact that I went to turn on the stereo yesterday and Abba came out of it. She desecrated the stereo, Forman!"

"Yeah, I'm not gonna dump a girl over your musical differences, Hyde."

"Tip of the iceberg, man. I could run through my reasons alphabetically if you like. A is for abrasive – that girl has the personality of steel wool. B is for bouncing – she's always jumping up and down over some stupid Tiger Beat gossip. Now for C, how about crazy for believing any of us would want to go that doll expo in Milwaukee." Eric suddenly went all eye-avoidance at this last item, causing Hyde to groan, "Forman, no…"

"It's not all girl dolls, Hyde," he said defensively. "They have the new Sea Adventurer G.I. Joe with Kung Fu Grip! Once I get that one, it'll be the pride of my collection."

"So sad, Forman."

"Look, I don't give a crap whether Jackie passes your 'cool' requirements, I like her and that's all that counts. And by the way, your personality isn't exactly smooth as baby duck's bottom either. Have you ever thought maybe you don't get on with Jackie because she's too much like you?"

"Yeah, sure, order me a shot of arsenic if there's any truth in that."

"Shut up, they're coming," Eric warned, sighting the girls returning from the Hub's bathroom. As Jackie approached the table, his face reflected the same lovesick smile she was sending his way. In spite of his best friend's gripes, Eric had found the last six weeks with Jackie the six happiest consecutive weeks of his life and he wasn't about to throw that away because Hyde was bothered by the rough spots in her personality.

"Hey baby, did you miss me?" she cooed as she snuggled up against him in the booth.

"What do you think?"

"I think maybe you did."

"I think maybe you're right."

"Well, I think – "

"Oh, for crying out loud, people are trying to eat here," Hyde interrupted. He noticed Donna staring sadly at the young couple currently engaged in a game of tonsil hockey and felt his rage heat up a few extra degrees. Why couldn't she just forget about Forman? Why did every kiss, every touch from her feel – stolen? Normally he got a special thrill out of stolen things, but he had come to realise he wanted to claim Donna entirely for himself. He took a deep breath to cool his temper before he started yelling at her that she should be looking at him that way, not Eric. Some day soon she would realise that he was better than Forman. She had to.

"Something wrong?" he asked quietly.

Her response was to suddenly fling her arms around his neck and attack his mouth with her lips. Hyde tried to take what was offered, but for once the feel of her body did not arouse him. He knew her kisses were not for his benefit.

"So," Jackie said breathlessly after detaching her face from Eric's. "What were you guys talking about?"

"You," Hyde muttered darkly.

"Really? Ohhh!" Jackie put her hand over her heart and made puppy eyes at Eric. "Were you singing my praises, honeybear?"

"Something like that," Eric said. "Actually, it was Hyde who was finding you the most fascinating. He was giving me an alphabetical list of all the things that make you – _you_."

"Why Hyde, I never knew you cared," Jackie replied with a fluttering of eyelashes. For a moment Hyde was in danger of choking on his fries, until he saw the wicked smirk Eric and Jackie shared. Now they were teaming up on burns? This girl was evil! Although it made him think maybe Jackie wasn't so dumb after all. _Damn._ _Guess I can't use "D" then._

"I have to say, I just love couple dating," Jackie weighed in. "Hasn't this been like the best night ever, Donna?"

"T'rfic," Donna agreed flatly. A night of watching Eric and Jackie paw and coo over each other really was the best night ever – assuming all the other nights were spent undergoing intensive dental surgery. Donna had reached the inescapable conclusion that the theory that Jackie was no more than Eric's bargaining chip was as false as her father's toupee. The conversation she had had with Jackie in the bathroom had put the final seal on this realisation.

_Flashback_

"Wow, look at this bathroom wall," Jackie remarked. "Kelso's name is all over it."

"Yes, but they're mostly warnings against going out with him," Donna said, reading through the scribblings. "Kind of like public health warnings."

"Good idea," Jackie approved. "Still, the way he describes making love as "doing it" is warning enough, isn't it? Any guy who can call the most magical, romantic expression of the highest emotion "doing it" – well, you can guess he is not going to call you in the morning." Jackie applied her petal-pinksmacker lipstick while Donna continued to read the wall. "I can tell you, Donna, when the time is right for me and Eric, it will be the most romantic night ever! Epic love poetry will be written about it." Jackie was fixated on her mirror image and so missed the look on Donna's face at her words.

"You – you and Eric are getting that close, then?" she asked in a strangled voice.

"Mmhmm." Jackie put her lipstick away and turned to Donna. "Oh Donna, things are going so well. I always dreamed of having a boyfriend who would treat me like a queen and who was sweet and funny and handsome. I am so lucky to have found him."

Jackie then proceeded to describe to Donna in detail how that magical night would unfold – the candles illuminating her bedroom, the Renoir (she meant peignoir) that she would wear and the banner hanging over the bed reading "Eric and Jackie together forever".

Back to the present 

As Donna had listened in sickened horror to the younger girl's rapt confidences, she knew that for Jackie at least this was no act. And now, watching Eric kiss Jackie as though she was the only person who existed besides him, she knew that the girl next door had no part to play in this coupling.

Muttering a weak excuse about having to get up early tomorrow, Donna abruptly left the booth and walked out the door, ignoring the surprised looks of Eric and Jackie. She had not walked very far before she heard the heavy sound of Hyde's boots running up behind her.

"Hey," he said sharply, grasping her arm. "What the hell were you thinking, leaving me alone with those two sucker fish? Not very girlfriendly of you, Donna."

"We can drop the act now, Hyde," Donna replied, shaking her arm free of Hyde's grip. "Because it's obvious you and I are the only ones playing at being a couple. Eric and Jackie are the real thing."

Hyde knew it would be pointless to deny Donna's observation. Truth to tell, it wasn't Jackie's personality that grated on him so much as it was having the example of a genuine loving couple thrust in his face all day, showing up his own farcical romance. Lately whenever he watched Eric and Jackie with their stupid happiness beaming off their stupid faces, he was filled with envy of Eric who just seemed to fall backwards into love with no effort while Hyde had to work his ass off just to get a cheap copy.

"Well? Aren't you going to say 'They're just messing with you, Donna. He loves you, not her'?" Hyde remained silent. "I thought as much." Donna turned and walked away, trying to fight back the burning of tears in her eyes.

"So that's it?" she heard behind her. "Things don't work out the way you wanted so you're just going to give up?"

Donna whirled angrily on Hyde. "Are you seriously going to tell me what to do again, oh great guru of wisdom? Because I have to tell you, your advice has not been up to scratch lately."

Hyde removed his sunglasses and took Donna's hand. "Look, Donna, romance is a tricky thing to predict. Sometimes when two people pretend to be in love, the fiction becomes fact."

Donna now realised why Hyde wore his glasses so much. When he took them off his eyes were like Macy's shop windows, showcasing his every emotion. As she grasped his double meaning, her mouth formed an "O" of surprise. Hyde quickly seized the moment and kissed Donna, trying to pour out the longings of his lonely soul into the kiss. He was too proud to ever beg anyone for anything with words, but his desperate kiss beseeched Donna for feelings he had only witnessed but never experienced. Donna, feeling rejected by Eric, allowed herself to sink into Hyde's embrace, enjoying the way his hands stroked her body, the warmth of his arms, the sensual thrill of his kiss. When he drew away his eyes were so hopeful that she could not have said "no" even if she wanted to, and suddenly she didn't want to.

"So what now?" she asked with a small smile.

"Well," Hyde answered with a leer. "I'm not opposed to doing it." Hyde prepared himself for the customary frogging his coarse joke would prompt but was taken aback when he saw the look in Donna's eyes. She looked almost… curious. Was she actually considering…

"You know, I have noticed the girls at school who aren't virgins look a whole lot more relaxed."

Hyde gawked at Donna in amazement for a second, but, ever the opportunist, he was soon putting an arm around her shoulders and walking her in the direction of his house. His Mom had just been paid so would be on a bar crawl for the next two days leaving the place all to himself.

_After tonight, she'll never think about Forman again_, Hyde vowed.

_After tonight, Eric will be burned out of my heart_, Donna thought.

"It's like the Stones say," Hyde told Donna. "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes - ."

"…you get what you need." Donna finished and prayed it would be so.

**A.N.To all the D/H haters (of whom I know there are many and I count myself among their ranks) I implore you not to give up on this story yet – I promise to redeem myself in later chapters.**


	6. Another Day in the Basement

**A.N. Back with another chapter. Thanks as always for the reviews although I am getting so conflicted; half of you want J/H and half want J/E and to be honest I haven't quite decided how this is going to end. Thought I'd just keep writing and see where the story takes me. I think the comment from Zenkindoflove that "I'm not going to expect anything with this story just sit back and watch it all happen." is just the right attitude to take. So sit back, enjoy and if I make you smile at any point in this chapter then you owe me a review!**

Chapter 6

_3 months later_

"So, where's the devil midget," Hyde asked in a bored voice as a commercial left Scooby and the gang cowering in terror from an unconvincing ghost (who was really Old Man Smithers from the amusement park).

"My dad abducted her," Eric answered. "She'd no sooner set foot through the kitchen door when he hauled her off to the garage muttering something about the carburettor."

"Man, I can't believe you've got a girlfriend who's a hot cheerleader and who's good with cars," Kelso said enviously. "Somehow I can't help thinking I should have gotten to her first."

"Well, it's a good thing you didn't," Eric replied. "Jackie's got a pretty short fuse when it comes to suffering fools. If she had to deal with you on a regular basis she'd probably be in a permanent bad mood."

"Huh!" Kelso retorted indignantly. "Shows what you knowWhy, if Jackie was my girlfriend I'd keep her so happy with my lovin' that she'd be purring like a kitten all day and especially night."

"MICHAEL!" a female voice shrilled. Jackie slammed the basement door open and glowered at Kelso. She was a fearsome sight with burning eyes and a grease spot on her nose so Kelso could be excused for cowering in terror as she came towards him. "You've been going through my cheerleading bag again, haven't you?"

"What? No, of course not." Jackie whacked him over the head with the bag in question.

"Then how come my underwear is missing from it?"

Another bag-slap caused Kelso to revise his story. "I mean, I think I saw Fez going through it."

All eyes in the basement turned to the foreign kid.

"Oh, so that's the way you want to play it?" Fez said to Kelso wrathfully. "Fine. You have to sleep sometime, you son of a bitch." In response to Jackie's angry gaze, he held up his hands defensively. "It was not me! I am just the white man's patsy."

Jackie turned to Eric with a pout. "Eric, aren't you going to defend my honour?"

"What, you haven't taken that yet, Forman?" Hyde asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Let me handle this, baby," Eric soothed Jackie, pulling her down onto his knee and opening her clothing bag. "Why, what's this – it looks like raspberry popsicle finger marks on your sweater."

"What? Where?" Jackie gasped, peering into the bag. Eric shielded the contents from her view.

"So the culprit will have recently consumed a red popsicle. Gentlemen – present tongues!"

Fez eagerly stuck out his tongue and warbled some incomprehensible explanation for why it was green at the same time.

"Fez, we can't make you out when you're speaking normal," Donna said. "So why are you trying to speak around your tongue?"

"I said that my tongue is green from my limealicious gobstopper," Fez explained haughtily. "Whores."

"So, Kelso, aren't you going to show us your tongue?" Eric questioned.

Kelso pursed his lips together and shook his head vigorously.

"I'll handle this," Hyde volunteered and, putting Kelso in a headlock he grabbed him by the nose and chin, wrenching his mouth open.

"AAAH," Kelso yelled. "This is against my rights, man! You're supposed to show me a warrant first!"

"It's red," Hyde confirmed with a smirk, releasing his friend.

"That proves nothing," Kelso protested. "I ate that popsicle _after _I took her panties."

"Ah ha!" Eric pounced.

"Damn!"

"Hand them over, creep," Jackie ordered, buffeting Kelso over the head again. The boy took an article of clothing out of his pocket and shamefacedly handed them to Jackie. Then Jackie examined the panties. "Wait – these aren't mine!"

"Those are mine!" Donna yelled, grabbing the panties.

"Oops! Wrong pocket," Kelso said.

"Kelso, now would be a good time to get out of here," Hyde warned as Donna advanced with violent purpose on the doofus. As the sounds of Donna chasing Kelso up the basement stairs faded, Jackie returned to her place on her boyfriend's lap and wrinkled her brow.

"But if Michael took my underwear before he ate the popsicle, then how did he leave stains on my sweater?"

"There were no stains, my dear," Eric explained, putting his arm around Jackie. "There was only a fiendishly clever trap which my worthy opponent fell into."

"Oh, Eric, you are brilliant," Jackie cooed admiringly.

"Yeah, he's a regular Columbo," Hyde said dryly, screwing up his face in distaste as Jackie and Eric started in on another kissing marathon. _God, you'd think they'd be weak from oxygen deprivation the amount of time they spend suctioned on each other. As if outsmarting Kelso is such an accomplishment. A cockroach could outsmart Kelso, and not just an ordinary cockroach but one that had been hit around the head a lot on the fight circuit._

Donna chose this moment to return to the fold. Upon observing Jackie's position, she headed towards Hyde who groaned inwardly. Whenever Jackie sat on Eric's lap Donna would plonk herself down on his thighs and while in most other ways he was happy for physical contact with his girlfriend (which grew more infrequent by the day), there was a definite weight ratio imbalance which would have his legs cramping in pain before too long. Besides, he disliked these lingering hints that Donna was not completely over Forman. Although she had not mentioned her feelings for Eric since that fateful double date, these little touches of rivalry with Eric and Jackie would still surface.

Eric drew back to examine Jackie's face. "You've got a smudge on your nose," he said with a smile.

Jackie reddened in embarrassment and covered her nose with her hands. "Oh no. I guess I got a little carried away when I found the U-joint underneath your dad's car."

"The fact that you find the underside of my dad's car cause for excitement both mystifies and fascinates me."

"Well, it is very interesting," Jackie replied. "I don't understand why you're not out there with me, learning all this stuff."

"You don't understand? Er, have you met my father? If I offered to help him with the car, he'd probably throw a phillips head hammer at my head."

"Screwdriver."

"Huh?"

"A phillips head is a type of screwdriver, not hammer," Jackie elaborated.

"And you wonder why Red doesn't want Eric's help," Hyde said.

"But he does! I don't get why you're always saying Red is such a hardass. He has been so amazing to me, teaching me how to change a tire and file down sparkplugs. You don't know how lucky you are to have a father who wants to spend time with you, Eric, and teach you things."

Hyde raised an eyebrow at this comment. _She said that like it's a new experience for her._

"Baby, though I'm happy that you and my dad have taken such a liking to each other, you'd have a better chance at reconciling Kennedy and Fidel Castro than me and my dad. And seeing as how Kennedy is dead, that just shows you what a long shot it is."

"Whatever," Jackie sighed. "Now wipe this spot off my nose so I'll be presentable enough for you to walk me home."

"Are you sure you want to get rid of it? Because I'm thinking it looks kind of cute." Jackie narrowed her eyes at him in feigned menace. "Just think about it. Once all the other girls see how pretty you make grease streaks look they'll be running to the oilcans to copy the effect."

Jackie giggled as Eric cleaned her nose. "C'mon, you silver tongued devil. I've got a load of homework waiting for me at my place."

"Homework?" Hyde repeated. "Who does their homework on a Friday night?"

"Intelligent people who like to get it out of the way so they can enjoy their weekend," Jackie answered with a touch of attitude.

"Well, if it's a habit of intelligent people, why are you doing it?" Donna snorted with suppressed laughter at Hyde's burn.

Jackie's fists curled at this blatant insult. She had not really grasped the science of burning yet and so always felt defenceless whenever she fell under Hyde's fire. Considering she had become his favourite target, her irritation with him had been growing steadily. She hated the way he looked down on everything and everybody around him, so smugly superior behind his stupid sunglasses. Still, he was Eric's friend for some unfathomable reason so she did her best to ignore his barbs. This basement had become a true sanctuary for her, the first place in a long time where she felt she belonged. She did not want to rock the boat in case she found herself in the water.

As though sensing Jackie's dilemma, Eric took her hand. "Hyde, I don't get why it matters to you what night Jackie does her homework. Surely the idea of doing homework on _any_ night of the week is a foreign concept to you."

"Ah burn!" Fez cheered.

Jackie smiled gratefully at her champion. Suddenly she didn't care about Hyde or his burns, she just wanted to be alone with her boyfriend. "Let's go."

As soon as Eric and Jackie exited, Donna got off Hyde's lap and sat on the couch. Hyde was wise enough to contain his sigh of relief.

"Man, he is so whipped," Hyde said, irritated with his friend who had teamed up against him with the devil. "Trotting off home beside her like a prize-winning poodle."

"Yeah, sure, Hyde," Donna said, leaning her head down onto one hand and turning her attention to the TV. "A guy walking his girlfriend home is such a turn-off."

"What's that supposed to mean? You don't believe in all that old fashioned crap, do you? What would Susan Frickin' Anthony say?"

"Whatever," Donna growled.

There was a minute of silence. "Plus, you live next door from here," Hyde added. "Walking you home would be pointless, given the distance and – "

"I said WHATEVER," Donna said in her danger voice. Hyde stayed silent after that.

It was a fine spring night that Eric walked Jackie through, though still with a cool edge to it which required Jackie to snuggle into Eric's side as they walked. This made their progress slow but neither were complaining. However, all destinations are reached eventually and much too soon Eric was kissing Jackie good night on her front porch.

Reluctantly drawing his lips away, Eric said, "Well, I'd better be going." Observing the dramatic way Jackie's expression saddened at his words, he asked "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Jackie answered, kissing his palm as it cupped her cheek. "I just… it doesn't matter." The tear trickling down her cheek contradicted her words.

"Hey now," Eric said soothingly, holding Jackie in his arms. "If there's anything wrong, you know you can tell me, right?"

"I'm being silly," Jackie said, wiping her eyes. "It's just this house gets kind of lonely sometimes. I mean, I know I should be used to it by now but when I come from your house it just makes it seem so much emptier."

"Lonely?" Eric looked searchingly into Jackie's eyes. "What about your parents? Aren't they here?" Jackie avoided his gaze. "Jackie?"

"My dad's on a business trip."

"Really? And your mom."

"She's on… holiday."

"Without your dad?" Jackie's sad nod told the story. "How long have they been away? I mean, we've been dating over four months now and I've never seen either of them in all that time."

"Mom left the night before I met you," Jackie answered.

"That day I found you crying? She was the reason, wasn't she?" Jackie's response was to return to the haven of his embrace.

"Dad left on business a couple of days later. He's always taken long business trips but it's never been for this long. I don't think he wants to come home because it would remind him of my mom. Like I do. He always told me I was just like her."

"Well, if your mom is the kind of person who runs out on the people who love her, then I can tell you that you are nothing like her," Eric said decisively, hugging her close.

"Eric," Jackie asked timidly. "Would you like to spend the night with me?"

Eric's heart sped up at the implication. Although their make out sessions had been escalating to some high level material lately, they had not yet consummated their relationship.

"Do you mean like in the guest bedroom?" Eric asked with a hitch in his voice.

"No." Jackie saw the desire in his eyes and it bolstered her confidence.

"On the couch?"

"No."

"That deal where you sleep under the sheet and I sleep on top of it?"

"Eric," Jackie held a finger to his lips. "I want us to prove our love."

"Jackie," Eric said, making a last ditch attempt at being a good guy, "you don't have to do this if you're not ready."

Jackie said nothing but only kissed him slowly and passionately, leaving him in no doubt as to her state of readiness. A state which Eric more than matched as she lead him to her pink bedroom.

"I thought you wanted a banner," he murmured as she slipped his shirt buttons through their holes. "You know, to make it special."

"You're here," she said softly. "It doesn't get much more special than that."

**A.N.OK, I know I've done it again and gone to a smoky dissolve when sex is on the horizon but I am hopelessly awkward at sex scenes so I'll leave it to your imagination. **


	7. Undercurrents

A.N.This chapter is pretty much transitional – no-one will lose their virginity this time (sorry, Fez).

It was another typical day in the basement. Eric, Jackie, Kelso and Fez were gathered around the TV set, the annoying strains of "The Brady Bunch" theme tune ringing out, when the sound of raised voices interrupted their viewing pleasure.

"I just can't believe you did that!" they heard Donna say angrily.

"Donna, that dilhole was coming onto you," was Hyde's irate answer. "What was I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, how about ANYTHING BESIDES PUNCHING HIM!"

"Oooh," Fez said in a thrilling whisper, "Hyde and Donna are having another fight."

"Not again," Kelso groaned. "Damn. Hyde always gets really violent after fighting with Donna. My arm is still sore from the frogging I took when Donna started in on him for never taking her out on dates."

"That is a serious offence," Jackie said. "Though I think she got madder last week when he said that if Germaine Greer was getting laid enough, she'd quit whining about the subjugation of women."

Eric was the only one without comment. For him more than the others he found witnessing Donna and Hyde's turbulent encounters disturbing. And even though it broke the guy code, he could not help sympathising with Donna more than with Hyde.

"So much hostility," Fez sighed. "Then again, I'm sure the sex is hot. They say there aint no sex like angry sex."

"Sex?" Eric said, his voice slightly squeaky. "What makes you think they're having sex?" There was something seriously off-putting about the thought of Hyde and Donna having sex.

"And don't come sleazing through my bedroom window tonight, you dumbass, because I'm cutting you off!" They heard Donna yell.

"Ouch," Kelso said. Eric just looked shell-shocked. He had been much happier when the 'have-they/haven't they' status of Hyde and Donna's sex life was up in the air.

It was at this point that Donna strode through the basement door, Hyde following her. Neither of them looked too happy but they both tried to act like they hadn't been hurling acid-coated words at each other 30 seconds ago. Donna took the chair farthest from Hyde's and glared at the TV set while Hyde settled rigidly into his chair, anger vibing off him in waves. The tension level in the basement had just shot up to an unprecedented high for a viewing of the Brady Bunch.

Fez started munching on some potato chips, each bite sounding as loud as a pistol shot in the silence. That was until he sensed the furious stares of Hyde and Donna on him, when he stopped mid-crunch. _Please someone say something to take the focus off me_, he thought in a panic.

"Oh my god, Eric!" Jackie squealed, jumping up from the couch with the local paper gripped in her hands. "They opened up a disco!"

"Where at?" Eric asked.

"In Kenosha. Eric, you could wear that Saturday Night fever outfit I bought you."

Jackie started to dance around in excitement while Hyde gave Eric a withering look.

"Gee, Eric, that would be super!" he said sarcastically.

"Laugh if you want, man, but I can pull off the Tony Manero look pretty convincingly. Hopefully all that blinding white fabric will distract from my complete lack of dance skills."

"Oh, you don't need to worry about that, Eric," Jackie reassured him. "With me as your partner no one will even be looking at you."

"What is disco?" Fez asked curiously.

"Disco is from hell, ok?" Hyde explained. "And not the cool part of hell with all the murderers, but the lame ass part where the really bad accountants live."

"I don't know, might be kinda fun to go dancing." Donna said, more to contradict Hyde than because she enjoyed disco.

"Yay," Jackie cheered, hugging Eric around the shoulders from behind the couch. Hyde noticed for the first time she was wearing her cheerleader uniform, with the little short skirt which rose to a provocative height when she was bending over the couch like that. He caught himself mid-turn-on, mad for having lewd thoughts about the girl who stood for everything that pissed him off. Naturally, he took his anger out on Jackie.

"So you're buying Eric his clothes now?" Hyde sneered. "What, you're not content playing with toy dolls, you had to find a life-size one to dress up."

Jackie blushed under Hyde's open contempt. "I don't play with dolls," she said stiffly. "Just because I collect them that doesn't mean I'm immature."

"Are you kidding? You don't drink, you don't smoke, you believe in unicorns and you're a virgin. You're such a baby that if Forman ever has the balls to do it with you he'd probably get booked as a paedophile."

There was silence following Hyde's diatribe, not even Kelso being stupid enough to identify it as a burn. As Jackie's lower lip started to wobble, he realised with a sick feeling that he had gone too far.

"You don't know me at all," Jackie said with a slight tremble in her voice. "You sit back in your high chair and … and judge everyone around you but you don't know anything!"

Hyde knew he should back off now but there was something about this one small girl that got under his skin. "Ha, the air-head is telling me I don't know anything. Talk about irony."

"Stop making up words, Hyde," Jackie said furiously. "I'd measure my report card against yours any day of the week, you loser."

Hyde's temper officially left the building at this and he shot up from his chair and faced off against the plucky cheerleader. This was the second time in the last hour a chick had served him a verbal ass-kicking in front of his friends and he was not happy about it.

"I'm not a loser!" he yelled in her face.

"And I'm not a virgin!" she yelled back.

The silence following this declaration could best be described as electric.

"Eric, you dog!" Kelso congratulated.

"Sexy," Fez observed.

"Uh, Jackie, I thought you wanted to keep that private," Eric said hesitantly. Catching a glimpse of Donna, Eric was surprised to see what looked like sadness in her eyes. He figured it must be the result of the rousing fight she had just had with her boyfriend. After all, why would she care if Eric was having sex or not?

Jackie's statement had a different effect on Hyde. It had started with the short skirt, then a heated exchange of words which had stirred a kind of passion in him which he never got from fighting with Donna – usually he just had feelings of inadequacy and frustration after Donna had read him the riot act. But now he was all fired up and Jackie had announced her new de-flowered status which just started putting images in his head so that… _Crap!_

"I have to use the bathroom," he muttered, making a hasty exit up the stairs, praying no-one had noticed how out of synch his lower body was with his upper body's opinion of his best friend's girl.

Jackie looked at the stunned faces around her in embarrassment. She could not believe that she'd blurted that out. Sure, she had planned to recount it in vivid detail to Donna when the right girl-talk moment came, but she didn't need Eric's three horny guy friends knowing and… imagining scenarios. It was all Hyde's fault; he was just so infuriating.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Eric," she apologised. "I didn't mean to say that."

"That's OK," Eric replied with a charming smile. "It was getting hard to stay quiet about what a love machine I am anyhow."

The absurdity of this statement broke the tension as Fez and Kelso broke down in laughter. Even Donna gave a small smile.

"What? I am! Tell them Jackie!"

Jackie sunk down on the couch next to Eric, put her arms around his neck and looked him in the eyes. "Babe, at the moment your machine is fresh from the factory and hasn't had all the bugs driven out of it yet." She kissed Eric's indignant face consolingly. "But I have every confidence that one day it's going to become a seriously cherry ride." Eric debated whether to take umbrage at this but, when confronted with his girlfriend's plump glossy lips, shrugged and proceeded to take what she offered.

"Hey, could you guys stop making out, please?" Kelso complained. "My stomach is already kicking me for having the chilli for lunch."

"What, you ate the cafeteria chilli, man?" Hyde said, re-entering the basement and sitting next to Donna. "Don't you know Edna's chilli barrel is more accurately known as the toxic waste dump?"

"Great, now you tell me," Kelso moaned, stroking his belly as tenderly as though he were comforting a distraught child. "You'd think having a friend whose mother is the lunch lady you'd have this kind of inside knowledge _before _you poison yourself!"

Jackie noticed the pointed glance Kelso sent in Hyde's direction but misinterpreted its target. "Oh my God, Donna!" she cried in disgust. "Gross Edna is your mother? Ewww!" Too late she realised her faux pas. "I mean… coool!" she amended with a big thumbs up. The amazed expressions aimed at her made her realise she was missing something. "What?"

"Edna is not my mother," Donna objected in distaste. "She's Hyde's!"

"Oh, right," Jackie said with wide eyes. She looked at Hyde. "Yeah, that makes more sense." Hyde, already annoyed by Donna's disgusted reaction, narrowed his eyes at Jackie's guileless insinuation.

Once again Kelso and Fez burst into laughter, soon joined by Eric. "Ah, you two are good entertainment value today," Fez remarked.

"That is a good one, Jackie," Eric chuckled. "I mean, how could you ever think Donna is Gross Edna's daughter? No offence, Hyde."

"It was an honest mistake," Jackie defended herself hotly. "I thought Kelso was looking at her when he said that. Plus there's the whole resemblance thing."

"What?" Donna and Hyde said together.

"Well, you know, Edna and Donna, they're both redheads and are tall and have a similar…" Jackie gestured to her chest area, "…build." The look on Donna's face clued Jackie in that she was digging her own grave. "But I could be wrong."

Eric, Kelso and Fez exchanged looks of glee at such a prime burning opportunity.

"Now we know what that certain something was that drew Hyde to Donna," Eric snarked. Kelso was not as subtle.

"Ha ha! Hyde's dating his Mom! Burn!" Hyde stifled further comment on the subject by pounding on the boy's arm.

"Anyone else got a comment to make?" he asked threateningly.

"Jeez, man, we were just having a joke," Kelso whined, rubbing his arm.

"Yeah, keep it up and I'll provide the punch line," Hyde warned. He then glared at Jackie in a way that gave her goosebumps. She had a feeling if Hyde ever snapped and climbed onto the school bell tower with a deer rifle, she'd be the first one in his sights.

Without another word, Hyde picked up his coat and slammed out the back door.

**A.N.OK, now make with the reviews, people! Please?**


	8. A Deal with the Devil

**A.N.This chapter is kind of heavy on dialogue – Jackie and Hyde got to talking and I couldn't make them shut up. Hope you enjoy.**

Chapter 8

"Phew," Jackie breathed after Hyde's stormy exit. "Thank God he's gone. I don't get how you guys can stand that bad tempered burnout."

"Hey," Donna said sharply. "Watch how you talk about my friend."

"Don't you mean boyfriend?" Jackie quizzed.

"Yeah… whatever."

"Well, can someone explain what's so great about Hyde," Jackie pleaded, "because all I've ever gotten from him is rudeness and insults."

"Not insults, Jackie – burns," Kelso explained. "Hyde is the master burner. He's very gifted that way and you've got to respect a man of talent. Don't worry about it – he doesn't mean anything by it."

"The thing about Hyde is that he's had a thoroughly screwed up childhood," Eric explained, "Much like my Dad, he's been emotionally scarred by the past so he associates certain human characteristics with weakness – like happiness, kindness, love, gratitude…Just like Mr Spock."

"So what, he doesn't feel those things?" Jackie asked with wrinkled brow.

"Well, he does – maybe. I think. He just doesn't admit to them. But I believe somewhere under that apathetic, hardbitten exterior beats a heart as big as Wisconsin."

"That's right," Kelso confirmed. "Hyde's been calling me a moron since kindergarten. But do you remember that time Tommy Brent laughed and made fun of me because I answered on my math test that a polygon was a dead parrot? Hyde gave him the burning of a lifetime, right in front of his girlfriend. Who then dumped him and made out with me once Hyde showed her what a dumbass Tommy is." Kelso grinned goofily in remembrance. "Sweet."

"Yes, and he has also proved a friend to the oppressed minorities," Fez contributed. "My first weeks as an exchange student were spent hanging inside stinky jock-strap scented lockers until Hyde took me under the wing of his protection. Now, nobody messes with Fez – at least, not if Hyde's watching. Plus he is teaching me so much about American culture. Like the custom when purchasing fries that the person with the darkest skin must first offer them to his friends as a gesture of goodwill." Fez nodded vehemently. "Ah, the social pitfalls he has helped me avoid."

"How about you, Eric?" Jackie asked. "What has he done for you?"

The thought of Hyde kissing Donna flashed into Eric's mind, but he didn't think that would help make his point. Instead he thought back on a lifetime of friendship; Hyde protecting him from bullies, Hyde listening to Eric rant about grievances against his sister and then devising practical jokes of revenge on her, Hyde taking the heat for him with his Dad that time he had broken the vacuum cleaner by using it to suck up spilled chocolate pudding batter.

"He's my best friend," Eric said simply. "He's always had my back, just like I'll always have his." Eric took Jackie's hand in his and looked into her eyes. "I know you two have gotten off to a rough start, but I really need you to get along with him. Try to see the good and ignore the burns. Please? For me?"

Jackie sighed in defeat. "Alright," she grumbled. "But only for you." Eric rewarded her with a kiss, which was interrupted by the rumble of thunder. "Oh, I'd better get going before the storm hits."

"OK," Eric said. "Need a lift?"

"No thanks. I borrowed the housekeeper's car."

After one last hasty peck, Jackie was out the door and racing to her car as the first heavy drops plummeted down. Thunder storms tended to freak her out, probably because she had always had to endure them alone as an impressionable child. She didn't need her boyfriend and new friends witnessing her loss of cool. Better to climb into her bed alone, hug her favourite teddybear and drown out the scary sounds with some Abba.

However fate had other plans for Jackie for she had not driven very far when she noticed the lone figure of Steven Hyde stomping alongside the road, becoming more sodden with every step. The temptation to drive on and leave him to the just revenge of mother nature was overwhelming, until she remembered her recent promise to Eric. "Damn," she muttered.

"Need a ride?" she asked, pulling alongside the sour faced youth.

Hyde looked his evil nemesis over and laughed sarcastically. "From you? Not if I was running from a tsunami."

"Suit yourself," Jackie said casually. "Wow, your boots are really starting to squeak, aren't they? You know, rain is not very kind to cheap footwear. Plus I notice you're not wearing socks so I'm guessing they're really starting to chafe now." Hyde could feel blisters popping out over his feet as she babbled on. "Oh, I see you're favouring your right foot now. What's wrong with the left? Are you in any pain? Because if you were, I could drive you home which would be really great of me, I know, and you'd be forever grateful and maybe it would be the beginning of a beautiful friendship because it's so important that we all get along, don't you think?" Hyde resolutely tramped on, trying to block out the steady whine of her voice. "Because even when two people are very different they can still get along. It's like Donny and Marie – she's a little bit country and he's a little bit rock and roll, and yet they make it _work_ and I just think that if you took the time to get to know me - "

"JACKIE," Hyde exploded, stopping abruptly. The faithful shadow of Jackie's car stopped with him. Hyde took a deep breath. "If I get in the freaking car would you STOP TALKING?"

"Of course," Jackie agreed with a sunny smile. Hyde walked around to the passenger door, his boots making sloshing noises, and climbed in. _Wonder how long she'll keep her pie-hole shut _he thought cynically.

It was a full 30 seconds of silence before Jackie said "So how are things going between you and Donna? And it's no good trying to jump out of the car," she added as Hyde started to open his door, "because I'll just speed up so not even a drop and roll would save you."

Hyde groaned in frustration. "Donna and I are fine," he said through gritted teeth.

"Oh," Jackie responded, managing to infuse a thousand words into one syllable. Hyde resisted for a while but in the end took the bait.

"Why? What has she said?" he growled. It was not unknown for the two girls to be found giggling over some secret women's business on Donna's porch steps. Was it Hyde that they were dissecting when red and raven head were bowed together?

"Nothing," Jackie replied in a way that meant 'everything'. "I just couldn't help noticing that you two seem to be fighting a lot lately."

"Yeah, well, that's what couples do, Jackie. They fight and they yell and then they go out and get drunk and lose the rent money at the track." Hyde realised he was digressing and pulled himself up. "At least, normal couples do. Not sickening, lovey-dovey, puke-making couples who nauseate everyone around them with all their kissing and crap."

"OK, I'm going to pretend that last comment is not referring to anyone specific for the sake of our budding friendship," Jackie said. Hyde's lips twitched into an involuntary smile. "But to get back on topic, I think it's a mistake to take our parents' marriages as examples of healthy relationships."

"Our parents?" Hyde asked with raised eyebrows. "Are you saying all is not peaches and cream at Castle Burkhart?"

Jackie gripped the steering wheel tighter. "What I'm saying," she said in an even voice, "is that it is best not to make up your mind about people before all the facts are in."

"That's rich, coming from you. You made up your mind about me from the moment we met. The look on your face screamed 'poor loser burnout'."

"And you didn't write me off as a stuck up rich bitch straight away?"

"That's different," Hyde retorted. "'Cause I was right."

"Look, could you just talk to me for once without taking shots at me? I'm trying to help you if you'd let me."

"Well, I don't need your help."

"Judging from that screaming match you and Donna had before, I'd beg to differ. I believe the words 'cut off' were even bandied about. Of course, if you're fine with that…"

"Alright, alright," Hyde caved. "How can you help me? I'm curious what advice a sheltered princess like you has to offer me."

"I can sum up what you need to do to save your relationship with Donna in three words – make an effort."

"Make an effort?" Hyde repeated the words as though they came from an unknown language.

"Hyde, you have to do something to show Donna how special she is to you. Make some kind of romantic gesture like sing a song to her or write her name in the sky." Jackie went all dreamy-eyed at the thought.

Hyde considered this a moment. "I punched out a guy who was hitting on her today," he volunteered. "That's frickin' love poetry right there."

"Yes, but Donna's all weird with all those women's rights stuffed in her brain. One of those rules is that a guy isn't supposed to act possessive of a woman. I know, it's stupid," Jackie agreed with Hyde's eye roll. "But with Donna, punching other guys doesn't do it for her."

"But it would do it for you?" Hyde asked with a sideways look.

"Oh yeah," Jackie replied in an aroused voice. When she noticed the curious look Hyde was giving her, she self-consciously resumed her normal tone. "Anyhow, we just have to think of a way for you to show Donna how much she means to you and then you'll be sleazing your way through her bedroom window in no time.

"Hmmm," Hyde considered. It would be good to have carnal privileges again, even if it wasn't all he had thought it would be. He had always thought when he had sex with a girl he actually had feelings for, that there would be something more, some tidalwave of emotion like in some sappy 1940s style movie. Instead, the reality was disappointing, as reality usually was for Hyde. The physical satisfaction was great but afterwards as he lay beside her, there was this empty, distant feeling. Maybe it had something to do with his nagging doubt that, when Donna was climaxing beneath him, he was not the one she was thinking of.

Still, he was Hyde and if Hyde wasn't getting sex from his girlfriend, then he was letting down the side big time. Not to mention sex was the only thing marking Donna as his girlfriend because the way they treated each other as a couple was not much different than how they had been as friends, except maybe Donna was a bit more irritable these days.

"Oh my God, I am brilliant!" Jackie announced as inspiration struck. "Dancing! You have to take her to the disco in Kenosha!"

"Disco? Jackie I hate disco and I don't dance!"

"But that's the whole point. You'll be miserable doing something you hate just to please her! That's what a relationship is all about – the man sacrificing his happiness for the woman!"

"Forget it. Acting like a spaz on the dance floor is not going to impress Donna. It might work for Forman, but I have a reputation to uphold. When I do something, I do it well."

"You know, I'm like that, too," Jackie admitted. "Lucky for me I do everything well."

"You may be short on height but you're not short on confidence, are you?" Hyde said with a smirk. But for once the antagonism was missing from his tone.

"Look, what if you _could _dance well. Would you go then?"

"How's that going to happen? This isn't "Hello Dolly", you know – dancing isn't something you pick up in 5 minutes."

"Well, say you had a stunningly beautiful friend who just happened to be a fantastic dancer and was willing to show you a few moves." Hyde looked at her, clueless. "A friend whose generous nature will allow her to overlook the fact that you are always incredibly mean to her." Hyde still looked lost. "It's me, you jackass! I'm talking about me!"

"Oh," Hyde clicked. "Sorry. You threw me off when you said it was a friend."

His refusal of her olive branch incensed Jackie. "Fine! Don't take my help. Just don't come crying to me when Donna dumps your stubborn ass for a guy who's not afraid to shake it."

"Alright, don't get your feathers all ruffled. I guess I could let you show me a few steps provided you respect the following conditions – I don't shake it and I don't dance to Abba!"

"I can live with that," Jackie agreed.

"I'm afraid to ask this but I've gotta know – what do you want?"

"Huh?"

"It's time to name your price. You must want something from me pretty bad if you're willing to help me out."

Jackie had not actually thought of asking for something in return; she was just trying to turn an enemy into a friend for Eric's sake. Still, who was she to refuse this kind of opportunity.

"Well, how about if I teach you to dance then you teach me… how to burn."

Hyde laughed amusedly. "You want me to teach you how to burn? Jackie, that's like asking Clapton to teach you to play guitar. Burning is a talent you're either born with or you're not. And you're not." It was then Hyde noticed the sad pout Jackie was sporting because of his refusal; it stirred the most bizarre impulse to make her feel better. "Anyhow, you don't need to burn. You've got a weapon every bit as powerful."

"I do? What?"

"You're uncanny ability to blurt out the most tactless remark possible in any situation. Those little bombs you keep dropping are way more effective than burns."

"Really?" Jackie mulled this over. "I don't mean to drop bombs."

"I know; that's what makes them so devastating."

"But I don't want to hurt people's feelings," Jackie protested. "I want to be like you and say mean things but not let on to people that I really believe them."

Hyde could not repress a chuckle at her artless dig. "And there you go again. That one was almost as good as Donna looking like my mother."

"I never meant – "

"I know, that's what makes it such a white-hot burn." Hyde looked at Jackie speculatively. "You know, all you really need is to have someone looking out for you when you say these kinds of things. You get the other person to say "burn" every time you let loose one of your little 'observations' and that will make the difference between saying something witty and putting your foot in your mouth."

"That is brilliant," Jackie said in awe. "Oh Hyde, thank you! I accept."

"Huh? Accept what?"

"Your offer. I'll teach you to dance and you can be my burn back-up."

"Whoa, whoa, I wasn't volunteering there. Get Forman to do it."

"No, people might see through it if I have my boyfriend do it but no-one would suspect you of helping me out. And I really want Eric to think I can burn as well as the rest of you guys. Please, Hyde? Pleeeease???"

Oh man, she was pouting again. Damn it!

"Whatever," he growled in surrender. Then, as Jackie squealed in glee and reached over to hug him, "Hey, both hands on the wheel, woman!"

Just as they pulled up into Hyde's driveway, the heavens decided to just let it rip. Blazing forks of lightning lit up the black clouds and the thunder clapped loudly overhead, causing Jackie's mood to plunge into anxiety.

"Well, I guess this is the part where I thank you for the lift, but, it's me, so… bye." Hyde was about to step out of the car when Jackie's hand on his coat pulled him back in.

"What! You'd really let me drive home in this?" Jackie cried indignantly.

Hyde looked around as if just noticing the gale. "What's the problem? You'll be fine. The devil always looks after his own." He then noticed the tremble in the hand that was still clutching his arm. "Don't tell me you're scared of a little thunderstorm?" Jackie said nothing but looked at him in mute appeal. _I don't believe this_, Hyde thought. _What the hell is wrong with me, giving into her again like this._

"C'mon," he sighed. "Might as well get started on those dance lessons before I come to my senses."

Jackie gave him a grateful smile before sprinting through the rain to the shelter of his house.


	9. Couples

**A.N. I'm back from vacation, refreshed and ready with a new chapter. Hope you like it.**

Chapter 9

As Hyde followed Jackie into his house, he formulated a few strict iron-clad rules regarding the small brunette which banned any kind of reaction, other than the acceptable responses of irritation and disgust. These worthy resolves crumbled into ashes as he took in the sight of Jackie's wet cheerleading sweater clinging to her like a second skin.

"Wow, it's really coming down out there," Jackie observed, smoothing her hands over her damp hair. "I can't believe how wet I am."

Hyde gave a strangled groan at this last comment. "Uh… I'll find you something warm to put on," he muttered. "You look… cold."

Jackie followed his gaze to her nipples which were currently standing at attention and then hastily folded her arms over her chest. "Hyde!" But she was reproaching his back as he was already walking away.

He returned 10 minutes later in a dry change of clothes, holding a black t-shirt.

"Here," he grunted, throwing it at her.

"What's this? Is this one of your old t-shirts? I don't wear boy's clothes! Why didn't you bring me something of your mother's?"

"Her clothes wouldn't suit you," Hyde answered shortly. Seeing as how everything in his mother's closet was skin tight and plunging, dressing Jackie in them would defeat the whole don't-get-turned-on-by-your-best-friend's-girl purpose. A baggy T-shirt should conceal those dangerous curves. However, when Jackie returned to the living room wearing his favourite Led Zeppelin Tee tied into a knot at her hip, he could only wonder why Playboy had never done an erotic spread based on hot girls in rock concert t-shirts.

"Have you turned it on?" Jackie asked.

"What? Of course not! What's that supposed to mean?" Hyde flustered.

Jackie looked at him quizzically. "Hyde, how can I teach you to dance if you don't turn the record player on?"

Hyde shook his head free of its cobwebs as he walked towards the stereo and moved the needle onto the first track. As the opening bars of the Eagles "Witchy Woman" filled the small room, Hyde turned with wide eyes to face his nemesis.

_Raven hair and ruby lips_

_Sparks fly from her fingertips_

_Echoed voices in the night_

_She's a restless spirit on an endless flight_

"Oh crap," Hyde breathed.

………………………………………………..

Meanwhile, back in the basement….

They were into the second hour of the Brady Bunch marathon when Kelso rose to his feet and turned to Fez.

"C'mon buddy," Kelso said. "Let's go down to the Hub. I've gotta feeling there's a girl there with my name written all over her."

"And will there be a girl for me?" Fez asked hopefully.

"Well, that's kind of tricky, seeing as how your real name is like a billion syllables strung together. I'm afraid they don't make girls long enough to fit your name on 'em. But hey, if my chick has an ugly friend, she's all yours, pal." Fez nodded in enthusiastic agreement and grabbed his coat.

"Kelso, you can't drive in that," Donna protested. "It's raining buckets."

"I know! It'll be like from here to the Hub will be like the longest carwash ever!"

Eric shook his head as his two dimwitted friends walked out. "No need to worry about Kelso. His dumb luck has kept him alive this long so it's probably not going to let him down today."

"That's true," Donna agreed. "And if you combine his luck with Fez's, that has to up the intensity."

"Yeah, we should blow off this whole college / career life plan, take those two to Vegas instead and live off their winnings."

As Donna laughed, she realised that it had been a long time since her and Eric had been so comfortable with each other, just the way they used to be before they started dating other people. On impulse, she hit the mute button on the remote control. Eric raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Why Donna," he said, "are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"That depends," she replied with a challenging smile. "Do you think you can keep up with me?"

Eric turned to the TV with a grin and mimicked over the silent action on the screen.

"Well Marcia, a football in the face, that's gotta hurt!"

Donna joined in the fun. "Ouch my nose!" 

"That's gonna be huge in the morning!"

"Huger than my boobs?"

"Well, bigger than the left one!" 

………………………………………………..

Back to Hyde's house… 

"Damn it, Hyde," Jackie blasted as he collided with her yet again. Jackie blew the hair out of her eyes in frustration. Dancing with Steven Hyde was like pushing a shopping cart with one wonky wheel; just when you think you've got it steered in the right direction it suddenly turns on you and you come to a teeth-rattling halt.

As for Hyde, he could not decide which was more annoying; Jackie's bitching or the Carpenters album she had unearthed from God knows where. His mother must have been blind drunk when she bought it.

"Jackie, count your blessings that this music is only making me step all over you. You're lucky I'm not foaming at the mouth in a mad rage."

Jackie glared at Hyde, hands on her hips. "Hyde, I'm not reaching for the stars here. This is just a simple box step I'm teaching. Once you've mastered this, every slow song will be gravy for you. And I'll let you in on a secret," Jackie said, a smile lightening her tone. "It's in the slow songs that hearts are won. Now, those few dance moves I showed you earlier will let you fake it through the rock songs, but the dances where you actually make contact with your partner require a bit more skill." Hyde continued to look mutinous. "Come on, you were doing so well before. You know, you've got a great sense of rhythm." Hyde smirked in smug acknowledgment. "I don't understand why you keep turning into a club-footed oaf." Hyde's smirk turned to a scowl. Like she had a right to complain when she was the cause of his awkwardness. Put your hands here, Hyde, follow the movement of my hips, Hyde, pull me closer, Hyde. Then when he was getting trapped in the sensual rhythm of her body, he would remember Donna and in guilty confusion he would stumble and break the spell.

"Fine," he growled, annoyance snapping in his blue eyes. Jackie had commandeered his sunglasses ages ago, claiming eye contact was vital for the dancing process. "I just have to take care of one thing." So saying, he calmly walked to the stereo, carefully removed the record and then proceeded to break it over his knee, finishing up by grinding the broken pieces under his heel.

"Feel better?" Jackie asked sarcastically.

"Much," Hyde answered, switching on the stereo's radio and cruising the dial for a slow song. "Alright," he cheered as the sexy snarl of Mick Jagger's voice came through.

_I'll never be your beast of burden_

_I've walked for miles_

_My feet are hurtin'_

_All I want is for you to make love to me_

As Hyde grabbed Jackie's hand and spun her masterfully towards him, she raised an approving eyebrow. "Not bad," she admitted, her hands flattened against his warm chest. She felt a strange thrill shoot through her at the sensation of his hard pectorals beneath her palms. As disloyal comparisons between Hyde and Eric's bodies shot through her mind, she quickly backed up to an arms length and groped for her former teacherly attitude.

"So, you just need to sharpen your footwork a bit more when you're moving back, and you'll find – "

"Jackie," Hyde interrupted. His tone forced her reluctant eyes back to his piercing ones. "Shut up and dance."

Jackie swallowed nervously as she obeyed. _It must be the song_, she thought. _I never realised what an incredibly sexy song this is_.

_Ain't I hard enough_

_Ain't I rough enough_

_Ain't I rich enough_

_I'm not too blind to see_

_Well, he scores two out of three_, was the last thought that flashed through her mind before there was a sharp clap of thunder and everything went dark.

………………………………………………..

"Whoa! What was that?" Eric exclaimed a little nervously.

"Blackout," the dark blob that was probably Donna replied. "Where's the torch?"

"Got it." Eric's face was suddenly lit up from below in a grisly spotlight. "Let the ghost stories commence."

"Dumbass," Donna reprimanded. "Blackouts don't mean ghost stories."

Eric wrinkled his brow thoughtfully. "What do they mean, then?"

………………………………………………..

"Beer!" Hyde exclaimed, realising the storm had taken out the power.

"Beer?" Jackie questioned.

"It's a blackout. That means we have to drink all the beer in the house before it goes warm."

Jackie considered this logic in the darkness. "But wouldn't the beer still be alright once the power came back and the fridge started working again?"

If Jackie had been able to see Hyde's face she would not have been pleased by the expression of incredulity at her crazy reasoning. "Whatever," he said dismissively. "Wait here and I'll clean out the fridge."

A nearby lightening strike lit up the living room, prompting Jackie to jump into Hyde's arms in fright. "Um… hey, how about I come with you," she suggested in a shaky voice. It was strange how safe Jackie felt in Hyde's arms. Even stranger was the warm protective sensation that Hyde was feeling. As both became aware of their impressions, they abruptly broke contact with each other.

"So the kitchen…"

"Just this way."

"Great."

………………………………………………..

"Donna, I'm not sure about this," Eric whined as the crisp sound of a beer can opening echoed through the basement. "If Red finds out I drank his beer he's gonna kill me! And he served in Korea so he actually has experience killing people so it's not like some exaggeration me saying that."

"Eric," Donna sighed. "Yes, in a sense Red hates other people drinking his beer."

"You mean in a completely literal and true sense?"

"Exactly. However, in another sense he wants you to drink this beer. For this is not just beer, my friend. This cold alcoholic beverage represents your liberation from the oppression of your father. This beer is your way of saying 'I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!' Drinking this beer is a symbolic act of rebellion that your father will secretly admire, proving to him that you are not the spineless weakling he thinks you are."

"Well, I don't know if spineless weakling is really the most accurate - "

"Eric," Donna cut in. "Shut up and chug it."

Eric obediently slammed the contents of his beer can down his throat. When he was finished, he crushed the empty can against his forehead with a mighty roar of self-liberation. "God, that felt good!" In the torchlight he grinned happily at the redhead who smiled approvingly back at him. "Thanks, Donna."

"Anytime."

………………………………………………..

After Hyde fished a torch out of the kitchen drawer, he opened the fridge door and shone a beam of light to reveal – nothing.

"What the…" he hissed.

"What's wrong?" Jackie asked, shadowing his body from behind.

"There was a six-pack in here this morning," Hyde caught sight of a slip of paper where the beer used to be. "What the hell has she done?" he said to himself, opening the note.

_Steven_, he read. _I know you've been dipping into my stash. Until you replace what you took, no more beer for you, kid. I'm cutting you off. Mom._

Hyde slammed the fridge door angrily, not so much because of the beer but more because it was the second time that day a redhead had used that phrase and the similarity was starting to disturb him.

"Oh c'mon, Hyde, no need to have a tantrum," Jackie chided. "We don't really need beer to have a good time."

"Oh really? Are you going to show me a 'good time', Jackie?" Hyde taunted with an exaggerated leer.

"Pig," Jackie retaliated with a slap to his arm. "Is there anything else besides beer that relaxes you? And don't say sex."

"Hmmm, I guess there is one thing…"

_10 minutes later…_

"Yep, I'm feeling much more relaxed now," Hyde grinned through a haze of smoke.

Jackie laughed uproariously. "Oh Steven, you are such a card!"

"Steven? Why'd you call me that, man? Except you're not a man, you're a girl. Foreman's girl. I got Foreman's girl once. But it was alright because it was before she was his girl. I think it was alright… what was I saying? Oh yeah, I'm Hyde. No Steven here."

"Steven is a better name than Hyde," Jackie said, blinking owlishly. "Lots of cool Stevens out there like Steve McQueen and Steven Tyler. Can you name me one movie star called Hyde? No! Hyde, Hyde, Heidi Heidi Ho. Oh, that is soooo funny!" Jackie cackled deliriously.

"Wow, your little cheerleader lungs are really taking to this stuff," Hyde remarked with something approaching admiration. "If your mother could see you now, there'd be no more cotillions and tea parties for you, young lady."

"Mom can't see me from Argentina," Jackie corrected. "Not unless she's got a really super dooper telescope. Plus if she did get on my case I'd just say to her 'When you quit staggering around the house with your wine and your martinis and your slutty Latin pool boys, then we'll talk'. Oh damn, now I'm frowning. Pass that over here, Steven, before I start getting fish mouth lines."

"Your mom likes her liquor, huh? I know what that's like."

"2.00 am," Jackie said, drawing on the pipe.

"What?"

"That's the best time to take the empty wine bottles out to the trash can," Jackie explained. "The neighbours are all asleep at that time and won't hear the glass tinkle. Tinkle tinkle, little glass."

Hyde regarded the small brunette pensively. He never thought the day would come when he would feel sorry for Jackie Burkhart, the girl who has everything.

"Well, at least she's in Argentina," he said, hoping to cheer her up. "Good riddance, right?"

"Oh yeah," Jackie agreed. "She's on holiday, you see. A really, really long holiday. She even sent me a postcard last week. It was very touching – Dear Jackie, make sure you keep the help in line and don't forget to renew my Singles Club magazine subscription. Love Mom." Jackie sighed. "She probably meant to write 'Love you, Mom' but accidentally left a word out. Don't you think?"

"Sure," Hyde answered. "Sounds like you're better off without her. At least you've got your Dad, right? I'll bet he spoils you rotten. Well, somebody must have."

"Yeah, I've got Daddy," Jackie agreed. "As soon as he comes home from his business trip, I've got my Dad."

"What, he's gone too? Who takes care of you?"

"Hey, Bub, I can take care of myself," Jackie said, trying to sound tough and failing dismally. "All I need is me – and Eric. I have Eric. He's my cuddly little honeybear. Keeps me safe."

"Safe, huh?" Hyde said, leaning in closer. Jackie's face was starting to get all blurry and he was trying to bring her into focus. His eyes found her lips and fixated on them. "Safe from what?"

"The quiet," Jackie said softly, lying back onto the carpet and following the pattern of the smoke swirls with dilated eyes. "So much quiet. Don't… like…" Sleep robbed Jackie's sentence of its ending. Hyde contemplated her for a minute, poised just above her sleeping form. Slowly he brushed her lips with his own, but she did not stir. Shaking his head at his strange impulse, he gently put a cushion under her head, extinguished his pipe and opened a window to let the clean air in.

"Huh," he observed. "Guess the storm is over."

………………………………………………..

And finally, to return to our remaining couple….

"That sure was lucky how the blackout hit just after they served us our tater tots," Kelso remarked, fishing out one of the deep fried treats from the bowl.

"Yes, we are indeed fortunate," Fez agreed, nibbling on his tot. "Also, the candlelight is so romantic. It makes your face look like the lost masterpiece of a Renaissance sculptor."

"Thanks, little buddy," Kelso said. "I get that a lot."

"Whoa, look at this huge tater tot," Fez exclaimed, holding up the said tot.

Kelso's eyes widened. "That's not a tater tot, Fez. That's a tater giant!"

Fez stared back for a moment and then they both broke into loud laughter at Kelso's incomparable wit.


	10. Disco Fever

Chapter 10 – Disco Fever

**A.N.I was actually going to skip over this episode and just mention it in a brief flashback because coffeevixen has been doing such a great job with That Disco Episode in her current story I didn't want to be a copycat. However, the more I thought about it I figured I could take the episode in a fresh direction. I hope you all enjoy it and thanks as always to all my reviewers, especially the faithful ones. Zenkindoflove and Ultrawoman, you are the best!**

"Eric!" Jackie shrieked when her boyfriend came downstairs in his disco finery. "I thought you were going to wear the John Travolta suit! Why are you wearing this?" she wrinkled her nose in distaste at the blue shirt and colourless beige jacket covering his angular form.

Eric did some fast thinking. "Well, Jackie, I figured that outfit might attract a little too much attention to me… and not enough to you! I wouldn't want to overshadow your beauty in any way."

"Oh please! Eric Foreman, I know you're just complimenting me to distract me from being mad at you," she accused with narrowed eyes, holding the expression until he started to look nervous, when she smiled. "You know me so well."

Eric gave a low laugh as his girlfriend snaked her arms around him. He had barely begun to take advantage of her amorous mood when his friends filed into the basement, all dressed in their grooviest threads.

"Hey, I didn't sign up for watching you two paw at each other all night," Hyde said, breaking the moment. "Let's get on the road to Kenosha, land of crappy disco music."

"Oh, poor Steven, suffering a night of disco magic for the sake of true love," Jackie said with a knowing smile. "I hope you didn't wear open toed sandals, Donna. I would be amazed if Steven knows how to dance a step."

"Hey, don't write me off too soon," Hyde replied to her baiting with a complicit smirk. "I've got a feeling that dancing is just one more thing I am naturally better at than any of you guys."

"You've been spending time with Jackie, haven't you?" Donna said, sending Hyde's heartbeat into overdrive, until she finished "The whole swollen head syndrome is rubbing off on you."

"Oh, very funny, Donna," Jackie said. "I _was_ going to say that you look almost as pretty as me this evening, but now you've blown it." Jackie's smile took the edge from her words. She nudged her boyfriend to prompt his agreement. "Don't you think Donna looks so much better like that instead of covered in plaid all the time?"

Eric's tongue tied itself in knots at the thought of expressing his opinion on Donna's appearance. Even though he knew it was wrong, she still had the ability to send his pulse racing just by flicking her long red hair over her shoulder. He didn't think it would go down very well if he spoke his mind and said "Donna looks so hot she'll be setting off smoke alarms" so instead he strangled out the words "Yeah… you look nice."

Donna's smile grew as she read the hidden message in Eric's blush. Ever since the blackout, she felt as though some connection with Eric which had been broken when Jackie entered the picture had somehow sparked back to life. She did not yet know what she should do with this knowledge, if anything. But it felt good to know she still had an effect on Eric. It felt very good.

"Come on, guys," Kelso yelled. "Let's go! Don't you know there's a disco full of chicks out there who haven't seen me in my David Bowie butthuggers? I'm telling ya, these babies are gonna start a riot on the dance-floor."

"I think the only riot you'll be starting, Michael, is when the girls get a look at your shoes and rush out to the shops immediately to go buy a pair for themselves," Jackie remarked.

"Ha! Nice burn, Jackie," Hyde praised, meeting her hand for a high five.

"Thanks," Jackie said. "And I actually meant it to be one," she added proudly in an undervoice for Hyde's ears.

"Can we please go now?" Fez whined impatiently. "I wish to explore this boogie wonderland you Americans speak of."

"Yeah, let's get out of here," Eric agreed.

"I call shotgun!" Hyde said.

"I call second shotgun," Kelso cried.

"Kelso, Donna's the second shotgun," Hyde said. "I'm not pressing thighs with you for a two hour drive."

"But I called it!"

"Kelso, the shotgun's girlfriend sits next to him. It's a given."

"Actually," Eric interposed, "the driver's girlfriend should get that seat." Eric did not like the idea of being one half of a Donna sandwich for two hours, especially not with his best friend/her boyfriend on the other side.

So this was how it came about that Hyde found himself stuck next to Jackie in a confined space for two hours, listening to the swishy sound the purple chiffon of her dress made against her silken thighs as her leg rubbed against his. He had told himself that the feelings he had felt the day of their first (and last) dance lesson had been the result of sexual deprivation and a tainted batch of pot. To be on the safe side, he had kept his distance and cut short her tutelage so the circumstances would never be repeated. Yet, in spite of best intentions, his eyes tended to follow her around the room and his ears were tuned to every word she spoke. This last thing really drove him crazy, because she usually talked about such stupid things, but he found himself powerless to stop it. What worried him was that it was not unlike the place he was at not so long ago when he had started noticing Donna. Donna, with her long red hair and independent ways that now reminded him of another woman who was technically supposed to love him but did not really need him – another reason to hate Jackie, for planting that thought in his head. He tried really hard to hate her, he did, but how can you hate someone who thinks you are their new best friend? She now called him Steven and the crazy thing was he was starting to like it, although he'd join the Young Republicans Club sooner than admit to it. Man, he had to snap out of this! He already felt enough guilt about stealing Donna from Foreman. If he made a move on Jackie not only would Foreman think him the lowest human fungus on the planet, but he'd have to agree with him.

"Finally!" Donna exclaimed as they entered Kenosha. "If I have to sit next to Kelso for another 5 minutes, he's going to be missing a hand when we get out of this car!"

"Damn, Donna! It's not like I meant to touch your boob! I told you it was an accident."

"All fifteen times?"

"So I'm clumsy. Isn't that punishment enough?"

"Want me to pound on him for you, Donna?" Hyde offered.

"Nah, I can handle it."

"Of course you can," Hyde said wryly.

"Ooh look! There's the disco!" Jackie was bouncing in her seat with excitement, adding the visual stimulation of her jiggling cleavage to Hyde's torment. The car was barely parked when he shot out of the Cruiser, welcoming the cooling effect of the cold night air.

"My, my Steven," came Jackie's arch voice. "It looks like someone's in a hurry to get on the dance floor."

"Yes, Hyde, you look as though you are suffering from a fever," Fez chimed in. "Could it be – disco fever?"

"No, man, just wanted to see if the high pitched whining noise in my ear would stop when I got out of the car. What do you know," he said, with a look at Jackie, "It did."

"C'mon guys, let's save the passion for the dancing," Eric said, putting his arm around Jackie and leading the way into the disco.

"Hmmm, you do look kind of warm," Donna said, eyeing Hyde speculatively. "Are you coming down with something?"

Hyde caught sight of Jackie's swaying hips as she walked ahead of him in her high heels. "Oh God, I hope not," he prayed aloud.

………………………………………………..

Entering the club, Jackie looked around with wide eyes. "Oooh, Eric," she breathed. "It's so beautiful."

Eric surveyed the strobe lit room with the dance music pumping out and crowds of people making eggbeater motions with their arms in unison. "Well, I don't know if beautiful is how I'd describe it." Then he followed Jackie's gaze to the glittering disco ball suspended from the ceiling. _Oh crap! I'd better break her eye contact before that thing turns her into another one of these disco zombies._

"Uh, let's go snag ourselves a table and some drinks," Eric said, dragging Jackie along by one hand.

"So pretty," she murmured, reaching a hand plaintively toward the magic orb.

As the night progressed, the group of friends began to relax. Fez crossed over to the disco-loving side with Jackie, and even Donna said the music wasn't all bad. As for Kelso, he was too busy clearing a 6 foot radius around himself with his spastic dance moves to get into music debates.

"Eric, it's time to put on your boogie shoes," Jackie announced with a determined look.

"Are you sure about that? I could have sworn it was time to not make a complete ass of myself."

"Foreman, that time will never come." Hyde washed his burn down with another beer.

"Come on, they're playing "Fernando". That's a great slow song. And you know what they say about the slow songs, right Steven?" Jackie shot a significant look at Hyde, throwing in a slight head movement towards Donna.

"Damn," Hyde breathed. "Let's go, Donna," he groaned, offering her a hand up.

As the two couples made their way to the dance floor, Fez looked at Kelso speculatively and then opened his mouth.

"Don't even think about it, Fez," Kelso warned, keeping his eyes looking straight ahead.

"But those two girls over there are dancing with each other," Fez argued.

"I said, NO!"

Fez crossed his arms and pouted. "You never want to do anything with me!"

………………………………………………..

Donna's opening remark as he took her into his arms almost made Hyde crush her feet before they'd even begun.

"So am I crazy, or is there something going on between you and Jackie?"

"Wh-What? Where do you get that from?"

"What was all that 'you know what they say about the slow songs' stuff? Do you guys have some sort of secret language now?"

"Oh, that? That was nothing. Just some stupid thing she said to me once about winning hearts with slow songs." Hyde tried to control his heartbeat. He had no reason to be nervous – he hadn't done anything wrong.

"You've really eased up on her this past week," Donna mused. "You've gone from taunting her every chance you got to calling her burns, some of which I'm sure were anything but."

Hyde tried for a different approach. "Like it or not, Jackie is Foreman's girlfriend and so a part of the group, Donna. I just thought I should go a bit easier on her for his sake."

"Oh, so now Jackie is the new queen of the basement? What does that make me? The court jester? Ow! Hyde!" Donna winced as Hyde accidentally trod on her foot.

Hyde cursed to himself. Yeah, this dancing crap was really winning her heart. Although, come to think of it, did he really want her heart anymore?

………………………………………………..

"There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando," Jackie sang. Her boyfriend looked at her beaming face in bemusement.

"You really do love this stuff, don't you?" he said with a smile.

"Of course," Jackie replied. "Don't you?"

"To be honest, I don't like dance music."

"Oh," Jackie said, a little shocked. "Well, then… why did you want to come?"

Eric shrugged. "I guess because I like you."

The smile on Jackie's face could have lit up a football stadium. "So what, you're in like with me?" Eric did not answer, but pulled his James Bond face as he lowered her into a prolonged dip.

"You're not going to drop me, are you?"

Eric was about to assure her there was no chance of that, when he saw Donna dancing with Hyde. A guilty confusion filled his mind, and he abruptly pulled Jackie upright again and drew her against his shoulder so she could not see any traitorous thoughts flashing across his face. She snuggled blissfully against her boyfriend, content in the knowledge that he really liked her. Everything was going so well until –

"Idiot!" Jackie hissed, her body stiffening in Eric's arms.

"What did I do?!"

"Not you, Eric! Steven is fighting with Donna in the middle of the dance floor! After all the trouble I went through to bring them back together!"

"Huh? What did you do?"

"It doesn't matter. Look, Eric, I'm going to step in and dance with Steven and straighten his curly head out. You dance with Donna while I do that."

"Me? Dance with Donna? I can't, Jackie - " Eric objected in a panic. However, Jackie was on a mission of love and had dragged Eric in front of their quarrelling friends before he knew what had hit him.

"Hey guys," Jackie chirped. "Wouldn't it be fun to switch partners? Let's cut in on each other, like they do in the movies."

"Jackie, I don't think - " Hyde began, but Donna cut him short.

"You know, Jackie, that does sound like a lot of fun," Donna eyed Hyde coldly. "I'm sure _Steven_ here would just love to dance with you." She then turned a bewitching smile on Eric. "C'mon, Eric. Show me what you've got. I'm warning you, though, if you step on my feet as well, I'll be feeding you dirt tomorrow."

As Hyde watched his girlfriend walk away with his best friend, Jackie's sharp voice was pecking its way into his ears. "What the hell were you doing, Steven? I go to all that trouble of teaching you how to dance and you use those skills to pick a fight with Donna. Unless you're in West Side Story, dancing and fighting don't go together!" Even as she was blasting Hyde with reproach, she had moved into his dance frame.

"You want to know what we were fighting about, Jackie," Hyde returned angrily, unconsciously matching his feet in perfect harmony with her own. "You! This little dancing secret we've been keeping has made Donna suspect something's between us."

"What! But there's nothing like that between you and me!" Jackie gasped as she twirled under Hyde's arm.

"Of course there isn't. Although in the future you might want to try not muscling in on us and insisting I dance with you. It seems Donna finds that sort of behaviour – how shall I put it – suspicious as hell!"

Jackie's eyes widened remorsefully. "Oops." she said in a small voice.

………………………………………………..

Eric and Donna danced in silence together, both too afraid of what might come out of their mouths to open them. Holding each other in the slow dance embrace was the most intimate position either had ever experienced with the other. Certain fantasies dating from the pre-Jackie era were playing in both their minds, back when touching each other this way had been a possibility. To remind himself why it was no longer a possibility, Eric said "So, how are things going with you and Hyde?"

"Oh you know, the usual."

"You seem to be fighting a lot."

"Yeah, well, that's the usual." Eric raised his eyebrows at Donna so she elaborated. "Couples fight, Eric. You should see my parents go at each other, then you'd think our fighting was nothing."

Eric was disturbed by Donna's bleak words. It would be easier to put old feelings for Donna behind him if she was happy with the choice she had made.

"Jackie and I don't fight," Eric argued. "And we're a couple."

_Yeah, like I need a reminder_, Donna thought in irritation. "Well, maybe you and Jackie don't scratch far enough below the surface."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean the girl thinks you're the greatest things since sliced bread. It's hard to have a fight with someone who thinks you can do no wrong."

"Well, I don't see what's so bad about that."

"Of course you don't, you're a guy," Donna said, rolling her eyes. "Forget it, Eric. If you're happy with someone who's never going to challenge you, then that's fine. You've made your choice."

"Choice?" Eric said, puzzled. "Like I had options? Donna, you're the one that made the choice."

Donna's heart skipped a beat as she saw the honest bewilderment on Eric's face. "What do you mean?"

"Forget it," Eric said, stepping back from the dangerous topic. "I think we'd better swap back before our partners rip each other's heads off." Eric gestured towards Jackie and Hyde, who were obviously arguing about something as they danced. Donna would have liked to pursue their conversation and find out what Eric had meant, when she was distracted by how perfectly Hyde and Jackie danced together, much better than she and Hyde had.

"That's funny," she said.

"What is?"

"Hyde and Jackie. Even though they're fighting, they move so well together. They look so… natural."

………………………………………………..

"Steven, there's no need to get so riled up," Jackie said impatiently. "I'll just explain to Donna about the dance lesson. Once she knows the trouble you went to so you could make her happy, I'm sure her heart will be melted."

As Hyde looked across to his girlfriend, held in Eric's arms, he realised that for the first time the sight did not cause any reaction from his jealous heart. Instead, that fickle organ was pumping double time as he drew Jackie closer, curving his arm around her slender waist, breathing in the subtle scent of her perfume.

"Jackie, don't bother," he said. "It doesn't matter anymore."

"But Steven – "

"Jackie, I said no!"

"Hey Hyde," Eric's voice was suddenly right behind him. "You ready to swap girls?"

_Hell, yeah_, was Hyde's involuntary thought.


	11. Welcome to Camp Naughty Bad Fun

**A.N.This chapter is a little saucy. Not smutty – just saucy. Enjoy!**

Chapter 11

A couple of months had passed since their visit to the Kenosha disco. Hyde spent the time waiting for his attraction for Jackie to pass and his feelings for Donna to rekindle, but it seemed his heart was set on a course his mind could not alter. At least he and Donna had stopped fighting. Of course, they had also cut down on the kissing and as for all the good stuff that follows kissing – well, neither were really pressing for it. Somehow they had slipped back into the pattern of their old friendship. They were still officially boyfriend and girlfriend and he would occasionally take her out to the movies or bowling, but the average observer would have had a hard time spotting a difference between their pre-couple and post-couple rapport.

Eric and Jackie, on the other hand, seemed to be going strong. Jackie's parents had still not returned home and this created a damsel in distress situation that Eric found irresistible. Because his father made Eric feel about as useful as a salmon's bathing suit, Eric was more prone to the teenage boy hero complex than most. When Jackie turned her admiring eyes up to him, confident that he could chase away all her dragons, he felt like Batman, Bruce Lee and Captain Kirk all rolled into one. Eric often wondered what he had ever done to deserve such a beautiful, affectionate girlfriend. He would then wonder why, in spite of these blessings, he would still have vividly sexual dreams about Donna. His guilt about these forbidden yearnings would make him redouble his efforts to be Jackie's knight in shining armour and he had recently been racking his brain to come up with a solution to her living situation.

"Maybe I could talk to my parents about it," he said one morning as he lay in her bed, stroking her back soothingly.

"About what?" Jackie answered sleepily. She was still waking up.

"What we were talking about last night. It's been 9 months now, baby. You can't go on living all alone like this. Maybe my parents could help us think of something."

"I'm fine, Eric," she said, tensing under his hands. "I told you, I'm used to being on my own. And I have you and our friends and your family now. That's more people I've had involved in my life than ever before."

"Jackie, you're not going to be able to convince me you like living alone here. Not when you're always begging me to sleep over with you."

"I'm sorry," she said stiffly, taking offence. "I didn't realise spending the night with me was such a burden for you." She moved out of his arms.

"Oh, c'mon, you know I didn't mean it that way," Eric protested.

"Is it because I didn't want to have sex last night? I know I owed it to you, but I was just really tired…"

"What? Of course it's not because of that! And what's all this about owing me? Are we on some sort of payment plan here?"

"No, I just…I mean, some guys might feel cheated to have all the cuddling and no sex."

"Well, that's not me," Eric said firmly. "And for your information, I love cuddling with you."

"Really? Me too!" Jackie squealed happily. "It's the best part of sex, don't you think?"

"Uh… well, I wouldn't go that far," Eric said uncertainly. "Anyway, to get back on topic, I figure if we talk to my parents, maybe you could come and live with us. You know my parents adore you."

"Eric, no! There's nothing they could do, anyway. What with your Dad facing unemployment, the last thing they need is another mouth to feed. Not that my father would ever allow it. His daughter living off the kindness of strangers? What would the voters think at the next Council elections," Jackie said derisively. "No, I have to live here. The only other way to go would be… if I had someone move in with me." As the idea occurred to Jackie, she raised hopeful eyes to Eric.

"What, me?" he squeaked. "Jackie, can you really see my Mom agreeing to that? I mean, sure, Red would have me packed and the car loaded before I finished the sentence, but my Mom… yeah, we'll have to think of something else." Eric felt his heart go into arrhythmia at the thought of leaving his own cosy nest and moving in with Jackie. That was moving a bit too fast for his liking.

"Look, just forget about it. For the thousandth time, I am just fine. So," she said, deliberately changing the subject, "what are we doing tonight?"

Eric noted the stubborn tilt of her chin and knew there would be no further discussion on the matter this morning. "Not much," he said. "We thought we'd just go cruising."

"Well then," she said brightly, "I'd better put together the perfect cruising outfit. Pick me up at 7.00 ?"

"Sure, Jackie," Eric capitulated.

As she closed the front door behind him and walked up the stairs, the fake smile fell from her face as she listened to the echoes her footsteps made in the empty house.

………………………………………………..

"Guys, can we do something besides cruise? It's the third time tonight we've driven by that house!" Hyde stared moodily out of the car window.

"You know what we could do," Kelso said slyly. "We could go skinny dipping! Naked! That's the way God intended!" 

"No way." Jackie automatically rejected. What kind of skank would show her naked body to her boyfriend's pervy friends?

"Well, I don't care, I'll do it." Donna said, folding quicker than the English cricket team. Before Jackie knew it everybody was chanting "Dirty, dirty, dirty! Dirty, dirty, dirty!" She could feel the peer pressure mounting and pushing her popularity-loving self into doing something she had a feeling she was going to regret later.

After parking at the reservoir, the two girls took off their clothes on one side of the car while the boys stripped on the other side. Jackie felt terribly shy about stepping out into the moonlight, knowing there were four sets of eyes trained on her and Donna. The tall girl sensed the smaller girl's reluctance and grabbed her hand. "Come on, Jackie. If we go ahead of them, they'll only get our back view instead of our front. That's an R rating instead of an X." Before she knew it, Jackie was being towed along by Donna down to the water.

"Alright! Check out all that girl butt!" Kelso whooped. His eyes examined Jackie's small form as it dived into the water. "Man, I'd love to take a bite out of that peach." Hyde frowned and rabbit punched Kelso's arm. "Oww! Damnit, Hyde, I was talking about Jackie, not Donna."

"I know who you were talking about," Hyde growled under his breath.

"C'mon guys, let's hit the water," Eric prodded, throwing aside his boxers. "Or is this going to be a repeat of that protest streak and you three are going to chicken out at the last minute?"

"I'm not chickening out," Kelso said, pulling his T-shirt over his head. "There are naked girls over there. If there had been naked girls on the podium when the president was speaking, I would have streaked all the way to Washington."

"Come, you fools," Fez urged. "Enough talking – there is slippery female nakedness before us!" With that, the brown-skinned boy sprinted into the water, the irreverent tattoo on his bottom dancing in wild excitement.

Soon the reservoir was full of laughing teenagers, giddy with their own daring at flipping the bird to rules that had been in place since the Eden eviction. Even Jackie loosened up and broke into giggles when Eric dolphined over her floating body. Then Kelso and Fez started a splashing war which became a free-for-all and suddenly skinny-dipping seemed like a brilliant idea. That is until…

"Eeeek!" Jackie shrieked in terror. She suddenly began freestyling away from the middle of the pool as fast as her little arms could go. Hyde was the only one not so caught up in larking about to notice, and he followed her, his powerful arms slicing through the water so that he quickly caught up with her.

"Jackie, what's wrong?" he asked in concern. They were still a good distance from the shoreline, but were suddenly hidden from their splashing friends as a passing cloud covered the moon.

"S-something t-touched my leg," Jackie panted, flailing against the water in panic. "Something alive!"

"Calm down. It was probably just an eel," Hyde said, easily keeping pace. Somehow, his words did not give the comfort intended.

"An eel?" Jackie squawked. "There are eels in here? Oh my God!" Before Hyde knew what was happening, Jackie had latched onto his body quicker than Fez on a tootsie pop. She threw her arms around his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist, too frightened for considerations of modesty. "Steven, get me out of here now!"

"Jackie, what are you – " As Hyde registered what was happening, he wondered if it was possible to break into a sweat when you are underwater. As his hands cupped her rear end and he felt her breasts brush against his chest, he knew that soon there would be a completely different physiological response from his dirty cheating traitor of a body. He tried to shake her off himself before that happened, but that just made Jackie grip him tighter.

"Steven, please, you have to save me," she whimpered, burying her head against his shoulder.

"Jackie, I can't swim with you barnacled onto me like this," Hyde reasoned. "Let go!"

"No! The eels will get me!"

"No, they won't. The eels… all the eels, they're on the other side of the reservoir," Hyde improvised.

"Really?" Jackie said sceptically, relaxing slightly. She began to slide down Hyde's body, but then gave a sudden shriek and jumped back to her former position. "I just felt another one," she cried. "It brushed against my butt."

"No, you didn't." Hyde knew what she had felt.

"I did! It was hot and alive and… and HUGE!"

"Why, thank you," Hyde murmured, his mouth quirking upwards as the humour of the situation caught up with him. Luckily his feet found the bottom of the pond and he was able to walk through the water with Jackie clinging to him like a scared two year old. He was just worrying about exactly what Jackie would observe about him when he set her down on dry land when he saw something which dwarfed such petty concerns.

"What the – where the hell are our clothes?!"

………………………………………………..

Awkward silence reigned over the car as the six teenagers wondered what they were going to do about their present damp and naked position. Eric was especially having a hard time in the front seat, sharing it with not one but two naked girls, one whose naked body he enjoyed in real life and the other who haunted his fantasies. Clearing his throat, he broke the quiet.

"Guys, we need a plan," Eric said. "I'm not about to drive to the house with a car full of naked people! Red hates you guys when you're dressed!" 

"We could go to my house," Hyde volunteered.

"Yeah, your mom's used to having naked guys around," Kelso grinned.

"She's not even home you moron," Hyde responded, frogging Kelso with more aggression than his burn warranted. Actually, it was his own admission that was the source of his anger.

………………………………………………..

"Hyde, your mom really just ran off with some trucker?" Eric repeated with concern as his friend passed beers around, apparently carefree.

"No Forman, I made it up because it sounds so classy." 

Eric looked around Hyde's living room, which looked as though it was in between hurricanes. "Why would she just run off with some trucker?" 

"It's spring time! Love is in the air man!" 

"And she just left you here alone?" Eric persisted. Hyde was really starting to get pissed off by his best friend who lived in the kind of world where parents abandoning their kids was unthinkable. Hyde had not lived in that world since… well, he couldn't remember when he had ever lived in that world.

"Look, I realize this is hard for you to get your head around Opie," he bit out sarcastically. "You're failing to see the upside here. We've got food, we've got beer, we have zero adult supervision. Welcome to Camp Naughty Bad Fun!"

Right on cue, Jackie and Donna walked into the living room. Donna was dressed in a plunging nightie while Jackie was swaddled in a blanket. Hyde tried to block out what his own sensory perception told him was underneath that blanket but his hands still tingled from the memory of her firm young skin.

He disregarded Donna's appearance, especially as his mother's clothes were a little too perfect a fit for his comfort, to focus on the shrouded brunette. "Jackie, you couldn't find anything?" he asked.

"OK, no offence Hyde, but all your mother's clothes are whorey." Hyde repressed a chuckle at the double-take Donna did at Jackie's implication.

"What?"

Jackie turned to Donna to reassure her friend. "Oh, but they look great on you Donna!" she said earnestly. 

"Thanks Jackie." Donna did not sound appeased but Jackie did not appear to notice. Her throat was feeling all scratchy and her head was aching.

"Eric, can you please take me home?" she asked her boyfriend. "I think I caught something at the reservoir."

"Like an eel?" Hyde said with a knowing smile. Jackie's face turned stormy at his sly dig. Now that the urgency of the situation had passed, the embarrassment of wrapping herself around Hyde's naked body had caught up with her. So far, none of their friends knew what had happened and that was the way Jackie wanted to keep it. Stupid Steven – one minute he was making her feel like he wouldn't let anything bad happen to her ever, and the next he was teasing her with exposure – like there hadn't been enough of that tonight!

"Not that you idiot! I think I'm sick!"

"OK, we'd better go," As he escorted Jackie to his car, Eric threw a last worried glance back at the motherless house. In spite of Hyde's bravado, he had a feeling his friend was in trouble. Now he had two orphans to worry about. What was it with parents running out on their kids these days?

………………………………………………..

When Eric let himself into the Burkhart house the next day, he had a feeling something wasn't right. Usually Jackie ran to open the door for him and threw her arms around him. The door was unlocked so she must be home; perhaps she was upstairs nursing that cold she had felt coming on last night. When he opened her bedroom door, he was shocked by what he found. It wasn't so much the sight of Jackie without make-up, red eyed and messy haired, although that was freaky enough. It was the way her body trembled underneath the covers as chills racked her small frame and the sad foetal position she was curled into, as though she knew she had only herself to draw on for strength to ride out this illness. The oppressive emptiness of the large house struck Eric like never before.

"Jackie, are you alright?" he asked, although the answer was right in front of him. He brushed some balled-up kleenexes off her bedspread and sat down next to her, touching his hand to her heated forehead.

"I'm fine," Jackie croaked. "Eric, don't look at me! I look hideous."

"Yeah, like I'm gonna run out screaming just because you don't look like a fashion plate," Eric joked. "Jackie, is anyone taking care of you?"

"The cleaning lady was here this morning," Jackie said. "She brought me some juice. Oh, and she said she left a casserole in the fridge."

"Jackie, you're sick! You shouldn't be all alone. You need someone here all the time."

"I do have someone," Jackie contradicted. "In fact, you're sitting on him." Eric jumped up and Jackie grabbed the stuffed unicorn he had been squashing. "It's alright now, Fluffycakes. That bad old Eric didn't mean to sit on you." As Jackie cuddled the toy to her, Eric understood her attachment to the silent but faithful friends that filled her room. After all, when was the last time a barbie doll went pub-crawling around Argentina? Or a teddybear forgetting his daughter's birthday because of a business meeting?

"Look, I'll just get my mother to come and check you out. She's a nurse, she'll know what to do."

"Eric, no! If your mom comes over here she'll be asking where my parents are and who's looking after me and then it will all come out!"

"Damn it, Jackie, what if it does? Why can't you face the fact that you need help?"

"Because I don't want anyone's pity," Jackie rasped back angrily, "especially not your parents! Why can't you see that?" It seemed particularly important to Jackie that Eric's parents continued to have a high opinion of her. They were all she had to fill the space in her life that her own parents had vacated and she could not risk losing their approval. She had some kind of mixed-up fear that they would think there must be something terribly wrong with her if her own parents would abandon her.

As Jackie broke down into a fit of coughing, Eric backed off so as not to agitate her further. He spent the remainder of the visit watching TV with her and made her a grilled cheese sandwich before he left. However, even though he dropped the issue with Jackie, he knew something had to be done about her dilemma and fast. This was why he was heading for the one person who was always ready with advice on any situation.

As Eric walked up to Hyde's front door, he could overhear his friend talking on the phone.

"Mom, mom, mom!… Yeah, I couldn't help noticing that you're not home yet…" Whatever Edna said caused Hyde to start pacing, gripping the phone tightly. "Oh, is that right?…Okay, great, yeah! No, no, no, you know, whatever makes you happy!" After Hyde hung up the phone, Eric saw a sight very few people had witnessed – Hyde lost his zen. He threw the phone against the wall in a frustrated rage. It was then he looked up and saw Eric standing outside his screen door. 

"Hey Forman." He was trying for a casual tone but only ended up sounding high pitched. 

"Hi." Eric replied.

"Come on in, make yourself at home!" As Eric entered, Hyde continued his hostly duties. "I'm out of beer, but if you want, you can break something."

"Actually, I had my eye on the phone, so… Hey, what's that?"

"It's crackers with ketchup on top for, uh, you know, for zest."

"Okay, well, I'm just gonna guess that Edna's not coming back."

"No man, she's just been delayed a little bit." Hyde protested. However as Eric noticed the television missing and Hyde subsequently admitting he had pawned it, he decided to point out the elephant in the room.

"You pawned your mom's T.V.? Hyde, she's not coming back. You need help my friend!" 

"No Forman, you would need help. I'll be fine!"

"What is it with you and Jackie!" Eric said, suddenly jumping up and waving his hands about wildly. His remark made Hyde jump nervously in his seat.

"Jackie? There's nothing with me and Jackie! Why would you say that?"

"No, I mean you guys are both in the same boat and you're both reacting exactly the same – like stubborn mules who won't face reality."

"Same boat? What's wrong with Jackie?" Hyde asked, trying not to put too much concern in his voice. "Have her parents not come back yet?"

"She told you about that?"

"She mentioned it one time," Hyde said vaguely. "She hasn't said anything since; I figured they would have come home by now."

"Hyde, her parents have been MIA for nine months now."

"Whoa!" Hyde was shocked. "I don't get it – why hasn't anything been done about it?"

"Because she's too pig-headed to admit that it's a problem. She doesn't want anyone feeling sorry for her or some such stupid reason."

"Oh, get off your high horse, Forman," Hyde snarled. "Like you have any idea what she's going through. You've had people looking out for you all your life – what do you know about what it's like to make it on your own? When have you ever had everything that meant something to you taken away so the only thing you've got left is your pride?"

Eric regarded Hyde with some surprise. He seemed to be more stirred by Jackie's plight than his own, but then he was probably mixing in his own feelings of abandonment with hers. Eric wondered how he was supposed to help these two obstinate people who wouldn't even admit they need help, when the answer came to him, perfect in its simplicity.

"Oh my God, I am a genius," he announced. Hyde did not look impressed. "Hyde, I know how to solve this! It's so obvious."

"What?" Hyde said warily.

"Think about it – Jackie's problem is she is living alone in a big empty house, you're problem is you're living alone and soon to be homeless. Don't you get it? You're the answer to each other's problem!"

"Forman, no!" Hyde rejected. "What are you thinking of? That I'd live with Jackie? That's impossible! It's unholy! It'd be like forcing cats and dogs to live together. No way! Not a snowball's in hell, you interfering idiot! Never!"

………………………………………………..

_The next morning…_

"Oh, Jackie," Eric sang as he poked his head around her bedroom door. "I'd like to introduce you to your new roomie!"

As Hyde was reluctantly pulled into Jackie's bedroom by Eric, a duffel bag slung over his shoulder, he took in the ultra-pink room and its red-nosed occupant with all the enthusiasm of a death row inmate meeting his executioner.

"Oh crap," he cursed.

**A.N.OK, I know the crack about the English cricket team was totally out of place in this setting and a low blow to any Brits reading but I'm an Aussie and I just couldn't resist – Mea Culpa.**


	12. The War Zone

Chapter 12

**A.N.Well, I had about 10 things that were supposed to happen in this chapter but I only got through 2 of them. Thanks as always for all the feedback – please let me know what you think of my latest offering. **

"Alright, now you two make nice," Eric ordered as he took his leave. "I'm serious, Hyde. If I come back here and find you've smothered her with her pillow, I'll be very cross."

"You'll pay for this, Forman," Hyde promised as Eric sauntered away, blowing kisses to his two orphan friends.

Hyde turned back towards Jackie who was glaring mutinously at him. Once again, he wondered how the hell Forman had talked him into this. Must have been the rumbling in his empty stomach that had only known crackers and condiments for the past two days. Of course, it had nothing to do with the thought that Jackie was alone and sick with no-one to take care of her.

"I told Eric and I'm telling you, I don't need anyone's help. I'm fine on my own."

"Just as well," Hyde replied. "'Cause I'm not the helpful type."

"This is just temporary," Jackie reaffirmed. "Just until my Dad comes back."

"Sure. And just until my Mom comes back." An awkward silence followed these declarations; the words _this is going to take a while _hung unspoken in the air. As Jackie began to fidget nervously with the bedspread, Hyde realised she had not looked him straight in the eyes since he had walked in. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing!" Jackie exploded with more emotion than was warranted.

"Okay, no need to jump all over me."

"Steven," Jackie gasped, blushing furiously.

"Oooh, so that's the scene that's playing in your prissy little head." Hyde broke into a wide grin. "Don't let it worry you, doll. So you jumped on my naked body with your own little naked body – well, you're only female."

"Get over yourself, Steven," Jackie replied angrily. "You know the nakedness had nothing to do with it! My life was in danger!"

Hyde laughed uproariously. "Yeah, I've heard there's been a string of eel related deaths all along the Eastern seaboard."

"Shut up! And I'm warning you, Steven, you ever mention that… incident again, I'll kick your shins so hard you'll be on crutches for weeks."

"Alright, alright, it never happened. Now you just lie back and let your body eel – I mean heal."

"Steven…" Jackie growled.

"I'm going to go check out the kitchen, get started on our dinner. How do you feel about eel parmigiana?"

"Steven!"

"That was the last one, I promise. From now on, my lips are eeled." Jackie threw a stuffed hippopotamus after Hyde as he strolled out her door, singing "I, I'm hooked on an eeling, I'm high on believing, that you will jump on me…"

………………………………………………..

Hyde was slouched in front of the TV in the Forman basement. It had been a week since he had moved in with Jackie and this was the first time he had been in the basement since the day after the move. The exile was due to the fact that on that day the boys had accidentally eaten a pan of lasagne and peach cobbler pie (meant for Red's dinner) after one of their little "film" sessions, causing a hungry and irate Red to ban them from his house for all eternity, but with Mrs Foreman's help the sentence had been commuted to a little under a week. However, being confined to a house with the girl who simultaneously annoys and attracts you can seem like an eternity.

Hyde mentally reviewed the past week of coexistence with Jackie, his thoughts coloured by the old WWII war movie he was watching.

_Day 1_

_Have moved into enemy territory and set up camp. Provisions are plentiful and absence of commanding officers satisfactory. The enemy is contained in her bedroom, her hotness powers disabled by a biological agent. Some fire exchanged at first engagement, emerged victorious._

_Day 2_

_Spent morning on recognisance of territory (and this is one big ass house). Discovered and confiscated state of the art television, stereo and one of those new-fangled video recorders. Provided aid and comfort to enemy who has been too weakened by illness to be fit for combat. Mental note: Marie Osmond has a nice rack for a Mormon._

_Day 3_

_The enemy has emerged from her cover. Although her hotness powers have been weakened I have cause to fear they are rapidly strengthening. Hair has resumed usual shine and bounce, face shows signs of cosmetic camouflage. Enemy presumed on yesterday's temporary cease-fire so needed to re-establish battle lines in the form of drop-kicking stupid stuffed unicorn across living room. Customary hostilities have been resumed._

_Day 4_

_Enemy retaliates to yesterday's unicorn attack with a daring raid – she took the last slice of chocolate cheesecake, even though I specifically said it was mine. A swift and decisive response is called for to regain control over the combat zone; let's see how she likes pop rocks mixed into her toothpaste._

_Day 5_

_My foe is more cunning than I realised. Usually when she wants something from me it's a full frontal assault which I successfully counter with an unwavering denial. Today she demanded I take her to the mall and then lured me with the promise of a new pair of boots. Her bribe was reinforced by pout and puppy-dog eyes, weapons which proved surprisingly effective on me. Spent day in long punishing trek from one end of the Point Place mall to the other, surviving on sugar daddies enemy rationed from her purse._

_Day 6_

_Surprised enemy as she was emerging from shower. It is affirmative hotness powers are now fully operational. Repeat, affirmative! Enemy employed ice-cold shoulder tactics in response to accidental ambush. Resisted tactics for most of day but endurance broke when she refused to watch Good Times with me, a ritual which has become a key factor in our peace treaty. Finally surrendered an apology but may have overshot objective as enemy threw her arms about me and kissed my cheek in forgiveness. Finished day with my own shower – a cold one._

Coming back to Day 7 (that is, the present), Hyde realised he was alone with Donna; all his friends had left one by one to return to their homes. It occurred to him that he had had hardly any contact with her this week outside of school. It was like all his skirmishes with Jackie had pushed the fact that he had a girlfriend clean out of his head. Trying to make up for his neglect, he gingerly asked her, "So… how have you been lately?"

Donna gave him a look which clearly said _too little, too late_. "What do you care?" she answered snottily.

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm your boyfriend – of course I care."

"Oh really? You're my boyfriend all of a sudden? That fact seems to have slipped your mind lately."

Hyde drew a tired hand over his face. "God, don't start in on me, Donna. I thought we were past all this stupid fighting."

"You want to know what's been going on in my life lately? Not much – just the fact that my parents are FREAKS!"

"What did they do now?"

"They wanna date other people! They figure that's the best way to fix their marriage."

"Your mom's dating?"

"Hmhm."

Hyde considered this a moment. "So where am I, do I have a shot?"

Donna rolled her eyes. "Oh could you please date my mom, it'll make my life so much better Hyde."

"Hey, call me Dad!"

"Yeah, great, joke about it, Hyde. That's really helping."

"Sorry," Hyde gave an exhausted sigh. "I'm not really that good at comforting people."

"Yeah, I've noticed. If it weren't for Eric, I don't know how I would have made it through this week." Hyde's radar went up at the mention of Eric's name.

"And just how did my best friend comfort my girlfriend? Did it involve a hot tub and massage oil?"

"Don't be gross," Donna said, raising her chin haughtily. "Eric is my best friend too, you know. He's just really been there for me this week – unlike you."

"Funny, I thought I was your best friend," Hyde said sadly.

Donna looked remorseful for a moment. "You are… or you were. This whole dating thing has really gotten in the way of how we used to be." Donna averted her eyes as she dealt the blow that had been coming for a long time. "I'm thinking maybe… we were better off that way."

Hyde felt a premonition of rejection, yet he masochistically asked Donna what she meant by that.

"Hyde, you know this thing between us hasn't really been working for a while now. I mean, we never go on dates, we hardly touch each other anymore, you don't know what's going on in my life. We are less close as boyfriend and girlfriend than we were when we were just friends."

"I guess you're right," Hyde replied coldly. "I mean, if we were still close you probably would have called me to see how I was doing, what with my mom running out on me. Then again, you never have really seen this relationship as a two way street, have you? After all, you're Donna Pinciotti, the hottest girl any of us poor dumbasses are ever gonna get close to. It's not like anyone else deserves a break."

Donna bit her lip as guilt stirred within her. "Maybe we're both to blame. Or neither one of us. It just doesn't seem like we were really meant to be together."

"Fine with me," Hyde said, standing up. "I'll leave you to go back to pining for your scrawny neighbour boy, while I find myself a girl who's capable of making out without droning on about women's rights."

"Well, I hear there's a strip club just outside of town, you'll probably find your perfect match there," Donna spat back.

"Guess I'd better go change my money for one dollar bills, then," was Hyde's smartass parting shot as he slammed his way out of the basement.

………………………………………………

Hyde was opening and shutting the kitchen drawers forcefully when Jackie walked into her kitchen. She regarded her housemate uneasily. She wondered what she had done to tick him off this time. Hyde had proved to be a prickly person to share a house with. One moment they were watching TV or cooking a meal together in perfect accord, the next he was either burning her or playing stupid jokes on her. It was like as soon as they came a bit too close to actually liking each other, he would back right off. Well, it was too late for that because she already liked him and she was going to keep liking him whether he liked it or not. No-one could say Jackie Burkhart lacked perseverance.

"What are you looking for?" she asked tentatively.

"The key to the liquor cabinet," Hyde said, not looking at her.

"I told you before, I don't know where my Dad keeps it."

"That's why I'm looking for it, Einstein," Hyde snapped.

"What's wrong?" Jackie asked in a quiet voice. When Hyde ignored her, she tugged on his arm. "Steven, stop that! Tell me what's wrong."

"What's wrong is that there are like 500 liquor bottles locked inside that damn cabinet taunting me – you can look but you can't touch. Well, screw that! I'm sick of playing their damn mind games."

"You think inanimate objects are playing mind games with you?"

Hyde ignored her and continued with his outburst. "Sure, looking at them you can imagine how good they'll taste and you know they can make all your troubles slip away, but when you have the balls to actually reach out and try to take one, then it's all 'You're not good enough, Hyde. We don't belong to you, Hyde. You don't have the key, Hyde.' Well, to hell with the key." Hyde pulled one of the drawers out so savagely it crashed onto the floor. He picked out a metal flashlight from its contents and strode purposefully back into the dining room (which is where the liquor cabinet did all its silent heckling from).

"Steven, no!" Jackie cried, grabbing onto the flashlight as she read his intent.

"Jackie, stay out of this," Hyde said, trying to pull the blunt object away from her. "Just… go upstairs and listen to that disco drivel you love so much. Forget about me."

"You know I can't do that," Jackie cried desperately, somehow managing to wrench the flashlight away from Hyde. She was stronger than she looked. Braver, too, for most people would have run for cover, away from the wild look in Hyde's eyes. But Jackie not only stood her ground, she met his bad temper with her own. "Now you are going to sit down right now and tell me what the hell has got you all riled up."

"Jackie – "

"I said SIT!" Jackie used the same tone of voice her mother used on her Puerto Rican maids, which never failed to elicit instant obedience. Almost against his will, Hyde found himself sitting on the couch.

"Now, tell me what happened that has you thinking the furniture is out to get you." Hyde remained sullenly silent. "OK, I guess I'll just have to work this out on my own. When I last saw you, I left you in the basement with Donna. You were alright then." Jackie noticed Hyde flinch when she said his girlfriend's name. "Did something happen with Donna?"

At first it seemed Hyde was not going to answer, until he finally said in an emotionless voice "We broke up."

In spite of the laconic delivery, Jackie saw the hurt in his eyes as he admitted to the end of his relationship. As naive as Jackie was, even she was not surprised that Hyde and Donna did not make it as there had been nothing loverlike in their attitudes to each other for a long time. Even so, she could see that Hyde was taking the break-up hard and her heart ached for him.

"Oh Steven," she said gently. Then, quite uncharacteristically, she did not say anything else. She only sat next to him on the couch, rested her head on his shoulder and squeezed his hand. The couple stayed that way for about 10 minutes before Hyde started talking, with difficulty at first but then the words started to flow.

"I don't know why it's rocked me this bad. I mean, I knew it was coming. She was never really into me the way I was into her… I don't think either of us felt she really belonged with me. And its not like I'm going to miss the making out and the sex because, hell, there's been precious little of that ever since you said she was like my mother. That little bombshell really killed the mood every time I tried to work up some enthusiasm."

"Looked like your mother," Jackie corrected. "I never said she was like your mother."

"Yeah, well I guess that stone hit its mark better than expected. Donna is just like my mother; they're a couple of unloving, disapproving redheaded whores who don't want me anymore."

Tears came to her eyes at Hyde's assertion. "I don't believe that. I'm sure if you give her some time, Donna will come around…"

"No chance of that. Like the old saying goes, you can't get beer out of an empty keg. Speaking of beer…"

"Hey, let's not go down the same road as our parents. Let's prove we're smarter than them because we know that you don't find answers at the bottom of a liquor bottle."

"I'm not looking for answers – just escape."

"Weell… why don't we do that thing where we sit in a circle and… you know…"

"An excellent idea, my young protégé. You have the makings of a first class burnout," Hyde said with a slightly amused eyebrow lift. "One problem – I used the last of my stash this afternoon to make that boring school assembly go faster. I'm tapped out."

"Oh. Wait – I think I have a substitute." Jackie jumped up and ran upstairs to her bedroom.

"What is it? Rope?" Hyde called after her.

Jackie returned triumphantly holding an album cover in front of her. "Ta dah!"

"My Father Confused Me," Hyde read. "Jackie, what the hell…"

"I just got this the other day and haven't had a chance to listen to it yet," the small brunette said as she set it up on the turnstile. "After all, Bill Cosby makes you laugh just as hard as if you were smoking pot and, as a bonus, you're not breaking laws listening to him."

"Is being law abiding you're idea of an incentive?"

"Shut up and listen, Steven."

Hyde rolled his eyes and rested his head against the back of the couch, so he was looking up at the ceiling. Well, better listening to Cosby's voice than Jackie's. Jackie watched his face vigilantly as the comedian described his childhood and his friends. She was watching for any sign of lightening of Hyde's grim expression. She thought she saw his lips twitch when Cosby explained how he used to think his name was Jesus Christ because those were the first words out of his Dad's mouth whenever he was reprimanding him for something. Then she was sure that a smile was trying to break through during the story about how Bill took his driving test in a car which ran on a Cessna airplane engine. But it was Cosby's take on how intellectuals react to UFO sightings that broke the levy.

"You know I figure that real intellectuals are people who are afraid to show their feelings. There's a lot of UFO stories going around, you know, and they always get the guy from down south and he's all 'Yaw, me and George we saw them there and they come down out of the sky and um they give us some chicklets…' Now how do these people know that those are the dudes they're supposed to pick on? You see, intellectuals are afraid to say they saw it. You know, you get some dude, man, with an IQ of 700 he ain't telling someone he saw something like that, man." Cosby puts on his uptight white dude voice; "Janet and I were having dinner when this object – which, obviously was a figment of our imagination, came down… and gave us a chicklet."

It was too much; the teenagers burst into gales of laughter. Once his hard shell was cracked, Hyde surrendered to the power of the black man's talent and spent the next hour chuckling and laughing with Jackie curled up by his side. When the last track played, Jackie turned to him with a smile and said one word; "Better?"

"Yeah," he replied, the storm in his sea-blue eyes calmed. He knew he was advancing into enemy territory, but he could not resist one last surprise attack – he took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead in gratitude. The blinding smile she then shone on him made the small surrender worthwhile.

**References made to Blue Swede's "Hooked on a Feeling" and Bill Cosby's stand up comedy album "My Father Confused Me."**


	13. Little Things

**A.N.Well, it's been pretty quiet out here in FanFiction land so I thought I would throw my chapter in a little early to give you all something to read. I love reviews more than Crunchie chocolate easter eggs so please get in the holiday spirit.**

Episode XXIII   
LITTLE THINGS

It's a time of upheaval   
for the Basement gang.

Hyde is living with Jackie,

Eric has been comforting Donna

and emotions and urges are whizzing

away in all kinds of inappropriate directions.

Anyway, right now Eric and his

band of rebels are exiting

a movie theatre in Kenosha…

"Holy crap! That was the best movie in the history of time," Eric announced in high excitement.

"I'll say," Kelso agreed. "Did you see the size of those space ships? And that death star? Man, George Lucas must have had some pretty deep pockets to build a whole planet!"

"Those were models, space cadet," Hyde said.

"Yeah, sure, Hyde. If they were models then how come when Luke and Han stood outside the ship it was bigger than them?" Kelso shook his head in disbelief at his friend's stupidity.

"So, what did you think, my fellow Trekkie?" Eric said, looping an arm around Jackie's shoulders. "Pretty awesome, right?"

"It was OK, I guess," Jackie said in a lukewarm way.

"OK?" Eric repeated incredulously. "Was the Mona Lisa OK? Was Michelangelo's David passable? Were the Beatles just a bunch of songsters?"

"No, it's just…OK, here's the thing. You've got this whole civilization that has harnessed the complexity of space colonization, they can travel faster than the speed of light, but when it comes to processing cloth beyond unbleached cotton – well, that's just one for the too hard basket."

"Unbelievable!" Eric threw his arms up in the air. "We watch the most gripping spectacle since the Roman Colosseum decided to put the lions and the Christians on the same bill, and all you get out of it is the costumes weren't too flashy."

"No, I did enjoy some parts, you know when they weren't droning on about the force and Jedis and all that boring stuff. The scenes between Leia and Han Solo – now, that was hot."

"Uh, Jackie, I think you mean Leia and Luke," Eric corrected gently. "Han was the uncouth rogue that Leia couldn't stand."

"No, I think Jackie has a point," Fez contributed. "Sure, her lips said "care-for-no-one mercenary" but her eyes said "Take me now, rebel smuggler."

"That's right, and Han was definitely into her. Remember when he asked Luke if he thought anything could happen between a guy like him and a princess like her?" Jackie reminded.

"Yeah, and remember how fast Luke shut him down? Any dirty ideas Han had in that area were finished with then. I mean, Han was Luke's friend! He came back and shot Darth Vader out of the sky for him. There's no way Han would poach on a friend's territory. Am I right, Hyde, old buddy?"

"What? Oh yeah, of course, no way," Hyde muttered.

"Guys, can we table the intergalactic debate for a minute?" Donna interrupted. "It's only 9 o'clock. What should we do with the rest of the evening?"

"Well, I guess that depends on how much money we have left," Kelso said. "Me, I'm tapped out. How about you, Fez?"

"Aii, my pockets are as empty as my claims of being the love toy of the school's gymnast team," the foreign kid answered sadly.

"Well, I've got a twenty," Hyde said unexpectedly. "Should be enough for some burgers and fries at the Hub."

"Whoa, what is this? Hyde with spare cash? What rich aunt died and left you smiling?"

"I'm a mysterious guy, Forman. I have my sources." Hyde darted a sidelong glance at Jackie, who gave a little conspiratorial smile in response.

_Flashback – 2 weeks ago_

"_Hey, Jackie, how much do you think that drippy china shepherdess thing is worth?"_

"_Why do you ask?" Jackie replied suspiciously._

"_Well, I'm low on cash now that my Mom's not around for me to steal money from and I've got to find some new means of income."_

"_Steven, you can't sell off the furnishings," Jackie reprimanded._

"_Why not? There's too much clutter around here, anyway. You know, minimalism is the latest craze. Just think of me as a free consultant."_

"_Yeah, I don't think I'm OK with that. Look, I've got plenty of money. You can have some of mine."_

_Hyde considered her suggestion for a moment and then shook his head. "Nah, then things would just get weird with us, man. I'd be like your employee or something. It always leads to bad blood when you borrow money from a friend."_

"_Oh, Steven, you just called me your friend!" Jackie clasped her hands in delight and gave an exuberant bounce._

"_Crap! Look, don't read too much into that – it just slipped out."_

"_It just slipped out of your thawing orphan heart," Jackie said. "I knew one day you would experience that emotion we humans call 'friendship'"_

"_For the last time, I am not Spock!" Hyde declared._

"_Of course you're not, Steven," Jackie soothed. "Alright, how about this – I'll just leave my purse lying around, if some money goes missing from it, I don't say anything, you don't say anything, but we both know." Hyde considered this for a minute before regretfully shaking his head._

"_Damn it, Jackie, that would have worked if you hadn't have said that," Hyde complained. "Now that you've given me permission, it's not theft anymore and we're right back to square one."_

"_Oh, you are just impossible. Look, why don't you do what the rest of your working class do and get a job?"_

"_Because having seen what getting a job did to Forman after that one week at Fatso Burger, no way am I putting myself into the blood sucking claws of a corrupt bourgeois capitalist system."_

"_Yeah, that stupid job really cut into our alone time," Jackie mused. "It's a good thing he quit or I'd have had to get the manager to fire him." Hyde looked at Jackie in surprise. "My Dad owns that store."_

"_Well, I guess I'm screwed," Hyde sighed in defeat. "Too bad there aren't any casinos in Point Place. If I could get a little poker action then I'd be flying high."_

"_Poker?" Jackie repeated. She regarded her friend thoughtfully. "You know, I've always wanted to learn to play poker."_

_Hyde looked at her for a moment, and then a wide grin crawled over his face._

………………………………………………

"Order up!"

Fez and Kelso eagerly jumped up and retrieved the trays of food for the table.

"How about when they're all stuck in that garbage unit and the walls are closing in! Man, I thought the movie was gonna end right there – Empire 1, Rebels 0!" Eric stuffed a handful of fries in his mouth for emphasis.

"No, how about that scene where Obi Wan Kenobi takes out his light saber and chops that guard's arm off! Now there's a guy you want at your back in a bar fight." Hyde returned, absentmindedly reaching across to Jackie's burger and nabbing all but three slices of pickle. Donna, sitting next to Jackie, was the only one who noticed. Even Jackie seemed to take the strange action for granted.

"Hey, Jackie," Donna said in an undervoice. "Aren't you going to cuss Hyde out for stealing your food?" Jackie looked blankly at her friend for a moment until she realised what Donna meant.

"Oh no, Donna, that wasn't stealing. Steven just knows I only have three slices of pickle on my burger. Otherwise the pickle to burger balance is way off."

"Oh," Donna said, although still obviously puzzled. She looked across at her ex-boyfriend. They had been exes for almost a month now and although they were not quite there yet, they were almost back to being comfortable with each other. After that scene in the basement, Hyde had never referred to their failed romance again, a system of denial which actually seemed to work for the both of them. In fact, Donna had seen no signs of angst over their break-up which was a little deflating to her pride. Would it kill the guy to mope just a little? But no, he was just having too much fun living the high life at the Burkhart mansion. That was a mystery in itself, how he could stand to live with the perky cheerleader who used to send him into fits of aggravation. Now they not only managed to survive each other's company but actually looked out for each other.

No longer did Jackie whine to the gang about how hopeless Hyde was. Now she was the first to speak up for him. When that snotty cheerleader Jenny Patterson sneeringly asked how Jackie could stand to hang around with that hop-head delinquent, Jackie had hotly defended Hyde until he sounded like a cross between Abraham Lincoln and Santa Claus. When Peter Grodin made some coarse remark about Jackie's likely performance between the sheets to Hyde, he had raised the boy up with a choking grip on his collar until the gasping youth withdrew his remarks.

Donna was pulled from her thoughts by Eric, seated opposite her. He leaned his body across the table to speak to her privately as the others continued rehashing the movie.

"Hey, Donna, you OK? You've been kind of quiet tonight."

Donna smiled at Eric gratefully. He had been so great to her lately, always noticing when she was down.

"I'm fine, Eric," she reassured. "I've just got a few things on my mind."

"Oh, OK." Eric looked across at Hyde, who was secretly squirting a bottle full of ketchup onto Kelso's burger while the doofus was distracted. "It's not too weird for you, is it, being around… him? Because we can make an excuse and I'll take you home if it is."

Donna looked across at Hyde who was laughing his ass off at Kelso's expression when he bit into his heavily sauced burger. "No, I'm past that now," Donna said, feeling just the slightest bit guilty that maybe she had exaggerated her feelings to Eric about the break-up, just to keep basking in his solicitude. She remembered his reaction when she had told him…

_Flashback – just after the break-up_

"_Hey Donna, have you seen my navy seal GI Joe? I hope my army Joe's haven't ganged up on the poor guy and flushed him down the… wait, what's wrong?"_

_Donna wiped a stray tear away as she sniffed and said plaintively "Nothing."_

"_C'mon this is your secret squirrel here – you know you can tell me anything. Did your parents have another fight?" Eric tentatively put a friendly arm around Donna's shoulders and was then surprised to soon find his chin resting on the top of her cinnamon-coloured head. Donna took a moment to revel in the feeling of having Eric's arms around her, feeling his heart-beat underneath her cheek._

"_Hyde and I just broke up," she said, snuggling against Eric almost imperceptibly._

"_Oh man, you poor kid," Eric said, gently stroking her back. The compassion in his voice made Donna's regret at hurting Hyde turn into overwhelming self-pity for herself. She did not know if it was because she no longer had a boyfriend or because she had never had the friend-boy who was now embracing her, but suddenly it just seemed like life was not giving her a fair deal and she was justified in taking it upon herself to even the scales._

"_Look, do you want me to stay with you tonight? We could watch some old movies, pop some corn, just like old times."_

"_I thought you and Jackie had a date."_

"_Jackie will understand," Eric said. "After all, you're her friend too. She'd be the first to tell me to be there for you."_

_Donna wondered exactly how many extra eons she would have to burn in hell for playing on both Eric and Jackie's trusting natures like this, but as his hands gently stroked her back, she decided that maybe it was worth it. It is debatable whether she would have felt better or worse to know that Eric was secretly deriving just as much guilty pleasure from the situation._

………………………………………………

Kelso let fly a loud and satisfied burp. "Man, that was some good eats!"

"Indeed it was, my friend," Eric agreed. "Except now I'm craving dessert."

"Ooh, is there an all night candy store open?" Fez asked hopefully.

"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of the kind of dessert that has a smoky flavour," Eric said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh yes, please burn up my stash after letting me buy you all dinner," Hyde said with good-natured sarcasm. "OK, but we'll have to do it at our place, since that's where I left it."

"Our place?" Eric said in surprise.

"Yeah – mine and Jackie's. What?"

"Wow, when you say 'our place' like that, it makes you sound like – I don't know, a young married couple or something."

"Get out of it, Forman," Hyde said in disgust. "It's just a stupid pronoun."

"You're being silly, Eric," Jackie said. "Just because Steven and I live together and plan weekly menus together and remind each other when it's trash night, that doesn't make us a couple."

"Yeah, not helping there, Jacks," Hyde muttered.

Eric did a double take. "You have a nickname for her?"

"Huh? No, of course not! I just sometimes don't have the energy to manage two syllables and shorten it to one. Hey, check out that shooting star over there." Hyde quickly pointed to a corner of the sky, trying to shift the attention a galaxy away from himself.

"That's not a star, those are a plane's landing lights," Donna said.

"Wait!" Kelso was brainstorming. "What if it's not a plane. What if it's a UFO! I'll bet the aliens make their spaceships look like our aircraft on purpose so that innocent humans don't suspect anything."

"Perhaps they'll come down and give us a chicklet," Jackie murmured, which for some reason had Hyde snorting in suppressed laughter while the other four looked on, mystified as to what was so funny. "You had to be there," was the only explanation Jackie gave with a giggle and a shrug.

Eric's sense of unease grew stronger when he observed Jackie and Hyde in their natural habitat. Jackie wanted to have some munchies handy for later and so was putting together some corn chips and salsa. There was something about the way she automatically handed the salsa jar to Hyde to open while never pausing in her story about the time she opened a jar of mayonnaise and found a dead mouse inside. Then there was the way she was on tip-toe, reaching for a serving bowl from the top shelf, and Hyde smoothly reached up and handed it to her without even looking at her as he swigged his beer. They were like some well-oiled piece of machinery, most effective when both parts worked together.

Maybe it was the pot that made him reckless, but when they had settled into the circle, Eric suddenly asked Jackie, "Why do you call him Steven?"

Jackie looked back wide-eyed at her boyfriend, trying to find some hidden meaning in his words. She failed to, so gave the obvious answer. "Because that's his name."

"But everyone else calls him Hyde. Only my Mom calls him Steven."

Jackie frowned at Eric, trying to grasp his meaning. "I just think Steven is a nice name."

"Forman, just drop it," Hyde said, not liking the suddenly suspicious look in Forman's eyes. "The film is getting to you – it's making you paranoid."

Jackie crawled across the floor to sit herself in Eric's lap. She didn't know why her boyfriend was acting so strangely, but she hated to have him displeased with her in any way. "Eric, I'm sorry, I won't call him Steven any more if you don't want me to." Eric looked halfway appeased, until his girlfriend added with a sly wink at his best friend, "I'll call him Tom instead." The gang were at the stage when this joke seemed like the height of comedy, but as they cackled uncontrollably, there was something about the knowing smirk that Hyde shot Jackie that told Eric this was another private joke between the two housemates that their friends were trespassing on.

_Flashback – two nights ago_

"_Ha! Two queens! Read 'em and weep, Steven," Jackie chortled, laying down her cards._

"_Oh no, I'm shaking," Hyde said laconically. "I guess I'll just have to take your two queens and flush them." Hyde laid down his cards as he made a noise like water circling down a cistern._

"_What? But they're queens! That's royalty! Nothing beats the power of the throne."_

"_Yeah, wake up and smell the revolution, princess." Hyde pulled the pile of notes and coins in the centre of the table towards him. It had been a good haul tonight, almost forty dollars worth. Still, he looked uneasily at the little piece of paper that was all that was left in front of Jackie._

"_Hey, Jacks, let's play one more hand."_

"_Can't," Jackie replied with a yawn. "You've cleaned me out."_

"_I'll play you for my marker," Hyde said, dealing out cards. "We valued it at $20, remember?" As Hyde was always broke when they sat down to a poker game, he used a marker as his currency, good for one special favour of the owner's choice. Jackie was usually so bad at this game that he had thought there was no risk in it, but by some strange twist of fate Jackie had somehow ended up with it._

_Jackie gave a smug smile that was positively feline. "Oh, I don't think so, Steven. This little baby is going in the vault," she said as she tucked it down the front of her shirt in a way that made Hyde want to follow it._

"_Alright, I didn't want to do this but if you don't let me win my marker back, I'm going to have to turn you in for under-age gambling."_

"_Oh really? Won't that be a bit awkward for you, what with you being under-age as well?"_

"_I take it you didn't watch the news tonight. Point Place has legalised gambling for everyone 16 and over which means you just miss out," Hyde lied._

"_Really?"_

"_Oh yes."_

"_I must have missed that report."_

"_It was very informative."_

_Jackie tried to keep a straight face as she bantered with Steven. She really loved these nocturnal poker games, when they would relax and talk and tease each other. The money she had deliberately lost tonight was a small price to pay for the pleasure of these easy-going sessions. Although sometimes it was difficult to pretend she knew nothing about the game when Luciano, the chauffeur who used to occasionally baby-sit her when she was a kid, had taught her everything his Vegas-loving heart knew._

"_Well, seeing as how I'll be 16 next Wednesday, I guess I'm close enough so it makes no difference anyhow," Jackie said, sticking her tongue out at Hyde._

"_What, Wednesday is your birthday?" Hyde said, startled. "Why didn't you say anything?"_

_Jackie's playful expression clouded over as she realised the information that had slipped out. "It's no big deal," she said._

"_Your birthday is no big deal? This from the girl who goes ballistic when the very word 'present' is mentioned. Tell me, is it true you have to step outside the room when the teacher does role call?"_

_Jackie gave a small smile at his joke. "Well, it's just in my family birthdays aren't really celebrated like in other families."_

"_Your Mom and Dad ignore your birthday? That sucks! Don't they even give you a present?"_

"_Oh no, I get the coolest presents there are because my Dad always gives me an extra bonus in my bank account and lets me spend it on whatever I want and no-one has better taste than me, so you see that is a much better arrangement than if someone gave me some uggo skirt that I would just have to exchange anyhow." In spite of her assurance, Hyde had the feeling she was trying to convince herself just as much as him that she was better off this way._

"_You know, I bet if you let the gang know they'd all give you presents," Hyde said off-handedly. He noticed the way Jackie bit her lip as she considered his words, as though doubtful if it were true. He knew what she was feeling – should she let herself look forward to the possibility of something good and risk the so-familiar crash of disappointment?_

"_That's OK," she finally said. "So long as Eric remembers, that's all that matters."_

"_Oh, then Forman knows?" He hadn't mentioned it to Hyde, but then they didn't tell each other everything – especially when it came to Jackie._

"_I told him months ago," Jackie confirmed._

"_Well, at least that's two presents you can count on then."_

"_Two?"_

"_Sure – Forman's and mine."_

_Jackie gave him that amazing smile of hers, like a spray of diamonds against black velvet. "I'll look forward to it," she said. "Now I'm glad I lost so much money to you tonight. You'll have no excuse not to get me something expensive and shiny."_

"_Yeah, about that, you see what with the current rate of inflation, taxation and all the other ations, I'm afraid the real cash value of my winnings is only about $7.00."_

"_Oh, really?"_

"_Afraid so. I mean, if it were up to me I'd spend every penny on you, but what with the government being out to get me and all…"_

_Jackie laughed with the roguish look in Hyde's eyes. "You know, Steven, you remind me of what the townspeople used to say about Tom Sawyer."_

"_And what was that?"_

"_That he'd be president some day if he wasn't hung first."_

"_Nice," Hyde said appreciatively. "Can I use that for my campaign slogan?"_


	14. The Good Boyfriend

Chapter 14

**A.N. I want to send a special thank you to everyone who reviewed last week. Your support to my story warms my heart. I'm not going to give the game away as to the ending but I can say I now know where this story is going. Hope you will all stick with me and please, please review – I had no idea how starved for approval I was until I started writing fanfic. **

The next morning Eric was practising hoop shots in his driveway when Hyde ambled along.

"Hey Hyde," Eric greeted his friend, as his latest effort bounced off the rim.

"Hey," Hyde returned, intercepting the basketball and effortlessly shooting it into the hoop.

"Wanna play some one on one?" Eric asked. Hyde noticed that his jaw was tensed and he issued the invitation without looking at his friend. _Looks like Red's been on his case and turned him twitchy_.

"Sure," Hyde agreed. "Usual stakes?"

"Winner wedgies loser," Eric confirmed. They had been playing for about 10 minutes when Eric said, "So, last night, huh? Pretty crazy, right?"

"It was a good night," Hyde replied. "I don't know if crazy is the word I'd use."

"Well, yeah, most of it was good, what with the Star Wars and the burgers and then the circle but there was some craziness mixed in there too." Eric stole the ball from Hyde and shot it hard towards the hoop, slamming his shoulder against Hyde in the process. Hyde did not call the foul but played on a few more minutes before he said "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I think you do, Hyde. I'm talking about my girlfriend." Eric deliberately described Jackie in the most possessive terms available. "I didn't realise until last night just how chummy you two have gotten. Pretty surprising, really, when just a month ago you hated her." As Hyde tried to block Eric's shot, Eric 'accidentally' head-butted Hyde's chin, spun around his friend and made the hoop. "You wanna call foul on that?" It was a challenge, not a question.

Hyde rubbed his chin as he regarded his friend, his anger slowly percolating. "Nah, it's good."

"So, I was just wondering, seeing as how you guys are as compatible as Felix and Oscar, why the hell you two suddenly have your own little private world, complete with in jokes and nicknames?" Eric shot the ball at Hyde's stomach, which he only just caught in time.

"Funny you should mention that," Hyde said casually, dribbling the ball. "I was thinking something along those lines last night when I saw you whispering in Donna's ear. Seems like you two have been in each other's company quite a bit lately, and with less excuse than me and Jackie." Hyde returned the ball to Eric with maximum force; it stung his hands as he caught it.

"I can't believe you have the nerve to bring Donna into this," Eric said, his eyes narrowed. "If I've spent more time with her, it's only because you dumped her and broke her heart."

"Donna told you that I dumped her?"

"Well, no, but it's obvious. You walk around without a care in the world and she's all sad and vulnerable – pretty easy to see who's the villain in this scene."

"No, it's pretty easy to see who's the sap. Donna couldn't give the ass of a rat about me, Forman, not in that way. If she's making you think different, then it sounds like she's found a new sucker to practice her passive-aggressive bullshit on."

"Don't you dare talk about Donna that way," Eric yelled, his face turning red. "You never understood her or… or appreciated her like I did!"

"You're only half right," Hyde's voice lowered to a snarl. "I was the one who understood her and you – well, you're appreciation for her was always pretty obvious. I bet you'd appreciate her brains out if Jackie wasn't in the picture." _Who are you really mad about, Forman – Jackie or Donna?_

"So you did know I had a crush on her when you started going out," Eric accused. "But you went after her anyway."

"Survival of the fittest, Forman," Hyde countered. "If you wanted her, why the hell didn't you step up like a man and say something about it?"

"Because you're my friend," Eric shouted back, "and a friend doesn't go after another friend's girlfriend."

"Donna wasn't your girlfriend."

"No, but Jackie is." Eric closed the distance between them to an arm's length. "I'm warning you, Hyde, keep away from her."

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Forman?"

"I'm stepping up. Is that manly enough for you?" Eric took a deep breath and said with less anger and more gravity. "I won't let you do it again, Hyde. Jackie is mine; she deserves to be with someone who can treat her with kindness, not the kind of guy who thinks so little of women that he throws them away when he's tired of them."

Hyde was filled with reluctant admiration for the way Eric was standing up to him, but also furious with his friend for implying he was the kind of bastard who would use Jackie up and then carelessly dispose of her. Or that he thought that was what had happened with Donna. That his best friend could think so little of him brought to life all his own self-doubts, his fears that he would follow in his father's abandoning footsteps.

So Forman thinks he's so much better for Jackie than me – well, let's put his undying love to the test. Maybe there's a good reason he hasn't mentioned Jackie's birthday. Or maybe…

"Relax, Forman," Hyde said, raising his hands in surrender. "What the hell are we fighting about? There's nothing like that between me and Jackie. What you saw last night is just what happens when two people live together. If I was living with Kelso or Fez, it'd be just the same. C'mon, me and Jackie? You know she stands for everything I'm against." Eric looked a little mollified but not fully convinced. "And as for Donna… well, I'm sorry if I was out of line there. She's a great chick, I'm just still kind of bitter about losing her." Eric's expression fully thawed in empathy.

"Yeah, I get that," he said. If Hyde was handing out olive branches, Eric wouldn't refuse. He had no desire to lose his best friend. After all, Hyde was right – all of last night's 'little things' could be explained by the close proximity of the odd couple. The fact that he knew Eric had a thing for Donna when he pursued her smarted, but ultimately it's not like the outcome would have been any different. If Donna wanted to be with Hyde and only saw Eric as a friend, then what difference did it make?

"So, we're cool?" Hyde offered his hand. After a moment's pause, Eric shook his hand and said, "Yeah, sure."

"Good. Look, I've got some things to do now but I wanted to ask you, are you free Wednesday night? Thought maybe we could go bowling or something."

"Wednesday? Sorry, no can do. I've got plans."

"Oh, right. You and Jackie going out?"

"No, it's the night before my sociology test. Donna and I are gonna cram for it together." Eric misread Hyde's smirk and explained defensively, "I really need to raise my grade in that class and Donna is already acing it so it makes sense – "

Hyde held up a hand. "Of course, Forman. It makes perfect sense." He tossed the ball back to its owner. "See you around."

"Yeah, see ya," Eric replied as Hyde walked away. "Hey Hyde! Who won the game?"

"Game's not over yet," Hyde called back.

Eric rolled his eyes. "Hyde and his damn ambiguity!"

………………………………………………

"Hey, kid," the foreman bellowed to his latest employee. "Dump those kegs over there then load these boxes on the red and white truck out front."

The curly-haired young man made his way across to the kegs in question, quickly enough to be obedient but slowly enough to express his contempt for being told what to do by 'the Man'. As he lifted one of the heavy kegs with a grunt, he wondered if any chick was worth this much hard work. Then an image of Jackie's smile flashed before him and he had his answer.

In a way it was the stupidest thing he had ever done, taking a job in a beer warehouse to earn money to buy Jackie a birthday present. After all, he could easily get the money from Jackie without manual labour, but the thought of giving Jackie a gift that was purchased with her own money and cost him no effort seemed like a pretty poor offering. He was determined to show Forman up on Wednesday. He would not only be the guy with the perfect present, he would prove himself to be the only one who remembered her birthday. Then both Forman and Jackie would see who the best man was.

A transistor radio was churning out some classic hits radio station in the background. As an old Frankie Valli song came on, Hyde began to hum along with a new spring in his step.

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

You'd be like heaven to touch

I want to hold you so much

At long last love has arrived

And I thank God I'm alive

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you

Oh yes. He had it bad.

………………………………………………

"Kelso, what do you think you're doing?" Jackie asked impatiently as she walked through the basement door to find Kelso clumsily stitching fire-crackers onto his jacket.

"It's a new age, Jackie," Kelso said, looping the thread around a small skyrocket. "and it belongs to visionaries like me. I tell you, Jackie, these rocket suits are gonna be the next x-ray glasses."

"But x-ray glasses don't even work."

"Trust me, people are gonna wish my rocket suits don't work!"

As with most conversations with Kelso, there comes a point where anyone who wants to retain their sanity needs to bail out. Jackie had reached that point.

"Look, do you know where Steven is?"

"Sorry, haven't seen him."

Jackie sighed as she collapsed onto the couch, then looked at Kelso speculatively. He was one of Steven's best friends; maybe he would know what he was up to. "Michael, have you noticed anything odd about Steven lately?"

"Now that you mention it, he hasn't been frogging me much these last few days."

"So then you've seen him around lately?"

"No… oh wait, that must be why!"

"Michael," Jackie said in a long suffering groan, "do you know where Steven is going in the afternoons? Both Saturday, Sunday and yesterday afternoon he's nowhere to be found and then he comes home late at night smelling all sweaty and… beery."

"Sweat and beer? Well, it's pretty obvious what Hyde's been up to," Kelso concluded with a knowing grin. "About time he got back in the saddle. Him and Donna have been over for ages."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he's back on the slut circuit. Wild parties and girls drunk enough to put out without a fight – yep, that's the Hyde we know and love."

"What? Steven's not that type of guy. He would never take advantage of a girl like that." For some reason, the image of some intoxicated skank plastered over her Steven revolted Jackie. Wait a minute, _her _Steven? Where did that come from?

Kelso let out a roar of laughter. "Oh, Jackie, Jackie, so sweet and naive. I forget you've only known Hyde since he's been with Donna. But before he was man-trapped, that guy was the biggest player in Point Place – next to yours truly, of course." Kelso settled back, eyes misty with reminiscence. "Ah, I remember those days well. We'd hit every party happening in one night and take bets on who could get with the most girls. And I have to admit, even though I am easily the best looking guy in this town, Hyde usually won. Mainly because he played it smart. He could tell by looking at a girl just how wasted she was. He used to say 'pour enough liquor into 'em and they'll give it away like pickled crackers at the Piggly Wiggly'. Of course, if you found one who was drinking because she'd just been dumped by her boyfriend, now that was hitting the mother lode!"

"Stop!" Jackie held her hands over her ears. "I don't want to hear any more. If Steven ever did those… things, I know he would never go back to those habits. He's not that kind of man." Grabbing her purse, Jackie charged out of the basement door before her ears could be further corrupted.

"Huh," Kelso said in surprise. "What's she so upset about?"

………………………………………………

As she ran up the stairwell, she saw Eric walking up the driveway with Donna. They seemed to be deep in conversation but as soon as they noticed Jackie they broke off their discussion in a guilty manner. _Oh my God, _Jackie thought to herself, her suspicions going haywire. _I can't believe it – this can only mean one thing._ She noticed Donna would not meet her eyes and Eric looked flustered. _They're planning me a surprise party!_

"So," she said archly. "What were you two talking about?"

"Um… well, we were just…" Eric began.

"That is, Eric was just saying…" Donna stammered.

"That's OK, guys. Whatever it was, why don't you just _surprise_ me with it later," Jackie said with a wink.

"Uh… sure, honey," Eric said. "So, are you coming or going?"

"Going. I just came to see if anyone knew what Steven was up to these days but Kelso just about gave me a headache with all his stupidness about how Steven was probably out at wild parties trawling for tarts. I mean, that's just crazy, right?"

"I don't know," Eric said with a shrug. "That was his M.O. pre-Donna." Eric was too caught up in his own guilt to notice Jackie's face fall. He and Donna had been discussing tomorrow night's study session. Donna had just suggested maybe if they finished in time they could go and see Star Wars again, an invitation very tempting to Eric's Jedi-loving heart. Yet somehow he had the feeling going to a movie alone with Donna would sink him deeper into this moral swamp he currently found himself in. He told himself that it was innocent as they were "just friends", but the fact that he did not want Jackie to know about it pointed to something else.

"Well, I guess I'd better get going," Jackie said, kissing Eric on the cheek. "After all, I'm going to need my beauty sleep – tomorrow is a big day." And so saying, she walked away leaving Eric and Donna puzzled as to her meaning.

………………………………………………

"Steven, where have you been," Jackie said with a frown as Hyde walked through her front door.

"Had things to see, people to do," Hyde said glibly, tossing his jacket onto the coatstand.

Jackie sniffed her delicate nose in his direction. "Eww, Steven, you smell rank. Seriously, what have you been up to? Why have you been coming in so late the last four nights?" She followed Steven up the stairs to his bedroom.

"Sorry, Jacks, but it's against my policy to explain myself to others. As far as I'm concerned, there's only one person who has the right to ask me that sort of question – my girlfriend."

"But you don't have a girlfriend."

"My point exactly – I'm answerable to no-one. Of course, if you're going mad with curiosity, you could always apply for the position. I am currently reviewing applications."

Jackie was too busy wondering if Hyde's quip meant he was exploring all the other potential girlfriends out there that she missed the reference to herself but Hyde took her lack of response as lack of interest and his manner cooled from jovial to brusque.

"You'd better get to bed, Jackie," he said gruffly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Jackie looked disappointed. She hadn't spent any quality time with Hyde in four days and she was surprised by how much she had missed him.

"Um… OK, but I was wondering… that is, would you mind listening to me give a speech before you go to bed?"

"A speech? Why so formal? Doesn't 'goodnight' say it all?"

"I have to give a three minute oral presentation on this Steinbeck novel for my English class tomorrow and I just need someone to practice on."

"Three minutes?" Hyde said. "Alright, I'll come find you after I shower."

"Oh, thank you, Steven. Now, don't judge me too critically 'cause this is only a first draft and it's not easy to summarise a whole book in three minutes – not that I had to do the whole book because it is so long. Seriously, you could use it as a doorstop. I'm covering the last third which is the part they made the movie out of with James Dean as the hot, bad brother and – what are you doing."

"Taking my shirt off," Hyde replied, pulling his T-shirt over his head to reveal washboard abs and hardened pectorals lightly covered in chest hair. Jackie swallowed hard at the sight.

"Steven! Stop… stripping while I'm in the room," Jackie's voice had risen quite a few notches. Hyde regarded her wide eyes and rapid breath and smirked as he read the telltale signs of female arousal. There was some hope here after all.

"Well, if you don't want to stick around for the full show, then you'd better stop flapping your mouth and get your fine little butt out of my room." He started to unbutton his jeans.

Jackie woke out of her trance with a squeak and dashed out of his room, followed by the sound of Hyde's low chuckle.

Twenty minutes later, Hyde found her pacing nervously in front of the fireplace. Too distracted to notice his presence, she was muttering under her breath, "C'mon, Jackie, get a grip. You can do this."

"Does public speaking make you nervous?" Hyde asked, startling Jackie.

"Yeah," she admitted. "The first time I had to do it I introduced myself as Backie Jurkhart. Now every time I talk in front of a crowd, I'm afraid I'll do it again."

Hyde couldn't help laughing at Jackie's spoonerism. "Well, you can always try that old trick of imagining your audience in their underwear."

Instantly she had an image of Steven wearing nothing but a very tight pair of white boxers. Blushing furiously, she said, "Let's just get this over with." Picking up her notes, she drew in a deep breath.

"East of Eden is a classic great American novel which - "

"Show us some skin!" Hyde cat-called.

Jackie gave him a look. "…a classic American novel – "

"Call that a classic? The Naked Lunch – now that was a classic!"

"Steven, what the hell are you doing?" Jackie fumed.

"Heckling," he replied. "I'm toughening you up for the real thing."

"Steven, this is not amateur night at the Comedy Club. This is a book report and there is no heckling with a book report!"

"My mistake," Steven apologised with a smarmy smile. "Pray continue."

"East of Eden is a classic great American novel which has as its central theme the battle between good and evil, both in the world and inside a person. It tells the tale of two brothers who are like Kane and Abel in the Bible. Aron is the good son who is his father's favourite. Everyone loves him. Cal is the brother who is always getting in trouble. He both loves his brother and is terribly jealous of him because everybody loves him so much, plus he's sweet on his brother's girlfriend. The main action is when Cal tries to make his father love him by giving him a present – "

"A present?" Hyde repeated, jerking awake.

"Yes – he works really hard and makes all this money by investing in bean crops or something and then tries to give the money to his father but it all goes wrong. His father rejects the gift and then Cal does something terrible which will lead to his brother's death."

"Aron dies?" Hyde repeated in a distressed voice.

"You're really getting into this, aren't you?" Jackie said in amusement. "Yes, he dies in the War."

"So because this bad seed Cal gives his dad a gift his brother dies? What kind of crazy book is this! What's it trying to say – that giving presents is evil? Steinbeck must have a hell of a problem with Christmas."

"No, it wasn't the gift, it was the motive behind the gift," Jackie explained. "Cal gave it with the wrong motives – he was trying to take away the love that belonged to his brother. After his brother dies he suffers the most intense guilt."

"Oh great," Hyde muttered. "Something to look forward to."

"You know, Steven, you remind me a bit of Cal," Jackie said thoughtfully.

"What? You think I'm an evil present-giver too?"

"No, but Cal is described as someone who is stuffed full of every good thing and every bad thing at the same time. I think you are like that. From what our friends say, you've got a track record of doing really good things for your friends but then today Kelso was telling me about some bad things you've done in the past."

"What did that dumbass say about me?" Hyde said angrily.

"That's not important. I'm just trying to say that I think you have the potential to be someone amazing – but you could just as easily go the other way. So you should watch your step, that's all."

Hyde drew in a deep breath; his head was spinning. It was like God had read his intention and sent this angel-faced messenger with The Book Report of Dire Warning. "So is that the end of your little speech?"

"There's just one part left." Jackie resumed her speechifying voice. "The book ends on a hopeful note. As his father lays dying – "

"Great, more death," Hyde muttered.

" – he says to Cal "Timshel" which is Hebrew for "thou may" which is used in the context "thou may triumph over evil". It is his way of saying that even though his father can never really forgive him for what he did and Cal will suffer the most crushing agonizing guilt for the rest of his life – Steven, stop groaning, I'm almost done – that he has the power to triumph over the evil impulses in him. There! That wasn't so bad now, was it?"

"It made – a real impression."

"Oh, I'm so glad you liked it," Jackie said happily. "Well, I'll let you get to sleep now. I hope I get some sleep tonight; I am so excited about what Eric is going to surprise me with tomorrow that I'm sure I won't be able to close my eyes."

"Er.. what do you think Forman is going to do for you?"

"Well, I caught him talking with Donna all secretive and guilty-like today so it's obvious they are going to throw me a surprise party." Jackie jumped up and down at the very thought but then put a hand over her mouth. "Oh, I probably shouldn't have told you that I know; I promise I will act totally surprised tomorrow." Hyde had a sudden vision of Jackie waiting patiently to be surprised by her boyfriend. He imagined how shattering that moment would be when she realized that her boyfriend had forgotten, just like her parents always had, having opted instead to spend his time with the girl that he had pined over since kindergarten. So lost was he in his thoughts he barely noticed when Jackie lightly pecked his cheek and floated upstairs, dancing on air.

That night Hyde was the one who could not sleep. The déjà vu of plotting to take away the girl that was in love with his best friend kept him restlessly tossing in his bed. One minute he would be thinking _To hell with it, everyone already thinks I'm the kind of scum that would do it anyway _but then he would hear Jackie's voice saying "I think you have the potential to be someone amazing." It was not until near dawn that his exhausted body finally gave his tortured consciousness a rest.

He was no closer to a decision when he woke up that morning. He made his way downstairs to find a note from Jackie saying she had to leave for an early cheerleading practice but that she'd see him at school. The opportunity for him to set up his present for her was so perfect it was like fate was giving him a wink and a pat on the back. Setting his jaw, he pulled out a large box from the high shelf of his bedroom closet (out of the reach of curious midgets) and made his way to Jackie's bedroom.

He would have been able to hold on to his resolve if it had not been for the look on Jackie's face at recess. She kept gazing at Eric in this hopeful way, just waiting for him to acknowledge her special day. Unfortunately, Eric was too caught up in arguing with Kelso about who would be the victor in a fight between Luke Skywalker and Spiderman that he never noticed his girlfriend's behaviour. Hyde saw the moment when it occurred to Jackie the true reason why Eric had not wished her a happy birthday; it was just before she stood up and made her way to the to the girls' bathroom, moving quickly before any moisture could fall from her eyes.

"Hey Forman," Hyde said grimly, placing a heavy hand on his friend's shoulder. "We need to talk."

**A.N. Caution: Jackie's book report should not be taken as an accurate summary of East of Eden. I skewed her interpretation slightly to fit in with my story. I do recommend reading it, however; it is one of my favourite books.**


	15. All that glitters yada yada

Chapter 15

As soon as Eric followed Hyde into the empty classroom, he was greeted with a swift slap upside the head.

"Oww! Hyde! What the hell is your problem?"

"Tell me, Forman," Hyde said tensely. "Does today hold any special significance for you at all?"

"What are you talking about? Have I forgotten the anniversary of the first time we TP'd a house together or something?"

Hyde went on as though Eric had not spoken. "I just remember the other day someone spouting out how Jackie deserved a guy who would treat her kindly." Hyde levelled steely blue eyes at Foreman's nervous green ones. "Explain to me how forgetting her birthday fits in with your whole noble hero act."

"Jackie's birthday?" Eric repeated dumbly. "No, that's not for a couple more weeks! I know because when Jackie told me she said I could remember the date by using that song "Dancing in September". You know, the one that goes 'Do you remember, the thirty-first night of September, Love was – '".

"It's not the thirty-first, you idiot, it's the twenty-first!" Hyde yelled. "September doesn't even have a thirty-first!"

"What? Are you sure?" Eric began mumbling the old rhyme under his breath; "30 days has November, April, June and Sep – Oh my God!" As the realisation of his thoughtlessness hit him, his expression was stricken.

"Nice going, prince charming," Hyde said sarcastically, showing no mercy.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! What am I going to do? Where am I going to find a present? How can I pay for it -–I don't have any money! She's never gonna forgive me for this."

Hyde took some grim satisfaction in Eric's hyperventilating panic before he finally said, "Relax, Forman. I've got you covered." Eric raised his head hopefully from its position between his knees, ready to grasp at any straw. "I got Jackie something – you know, just to shut her up. You can pretend it's from you."

"Really? Are you sure? That would be – Oh man, you would be saving my life, Hyde! I can't thank you enough! What did you get her?" Hyde told him. "Really? You think she'll like that?" Eric asked doubtfully.

"Well, she wanted something shiny." Hyde mentally rolled his eyes. Of course Jackie was going to love it. Didn't Forman know her at all? "Listen, whatever happens, don't let on that you forgot. Deny everything. Oh, one more thing; you and Donna are throwing her a surprise party."

"We are?"

"Well, what other reason would you have for whispering secrets with Big D yesterday when Jackie saw you?" Hyde gave Eric a hard look. "Seriously, Forman – what other reason?"

Eric tried to look affronted. "Nothing has happened between me and Donna."

"Yet," Hyde finished.

Eric decided to ignore the implication. "OK, I'll call my Mom and have her put together a surprise party. She always comes through for me."

_How nice for you_, Hyde mentally snarked. "Good. Also, you should take Jackie out for dinner to that new French restaurant she's been wanting to try. I made some reservations… for you." Hyde added the last two words as an afterthought.

"But I don't have any money – "

"Here," Hyde said, shoving a $50 bill in Eric's hand. "You owe me big time."

"Oh man, Hyde, I don't know how to thank - "

"Yeah, yeah. Just make her happy, Forman." In response to Eric's surprised look, Hyde amended "I don't need her moping around the house crying all over me."

"I won't forget this, Man. And I'm sorry if I got in your face when we were shooting hoops. I can see now I completely misjudged you."

"Can the sappy apologies, Forman. I have to get into the lunch queue before the only thing left is the chilli."

As the bored lunch lady slapped a pile of mashed potatoes on his tray, Hyde watched the touching scene play out, where Eric stuck three matchsticks into his Twinkie and presented it to Jackie, singing an off-key rendering of happy birthday. It was almost worth his sacrifice to see that sad, lonely look chased from Jackie's face by pure delight. Almost.

………………………………………………

"Eric, what are you doing?" Jackie giggled as he put his hands over her eyes. They were just about to enter her bedroom so that she could change her clothes for the restaurant her wonderful boyfriend was taking her to.

"Setting the mood, baby," Eric explained. "Are you ready for your birthday present?"

Jackie gasped in rapture. "Oh, show me, show me, show me!"

"Happy birthday," Eric said as he opened the door. When Jackie saw what was suspended from her ceiling, her jaw dropped in amazement. Eric watched her face nervously; did she like it? What if she didn't like it? What if this was some elaborate burn Hyde was playing? Oh God…

Jackie let fly a high pitched squeal. "You bought me a glitter ball? Oh, Eric, I can't believe this! You've turned my bedroom into a disco."

"Sooo… that's a good thing, right?"

"Eric, this is the most incredible present anybody has ever given to me," Jackie declared, tearing her eyes away from the shiny multi-faceted globe. "Oh baby, you are going to get so lucky right now."

"Alright!" Eric cheered.

_7 and a half minutes later…_

"Well, I guess I'd better get changed for our big dinner date," Jackie said, reaching for her robe.

"Yeah," Eric agreed with a fatuous smile. He studied his girlfriend and noted their recent activity had not rumpled her smooth perfection. "Say Jackie, that was good for you too, right?"

"Oh, sure, baby," Jackie replied, "It was the best ever. Have you been getting tips on tantric sex from Bob? Because that was your longest time yet."

"Well, I have been using some Jedi mind control tricks," Eric admitted modestly. "Of course, you're supposed to use them on other people but seeing as how that part of me has a mind of its own…"

Jackie smiled fondly at her boyfriend. She didn't mind that he was a superman in the bedroom – that is, faster than a speeding bullet. As far as she was concerned, it just made the messy, unromantic part of sex go faster so she could rush to her favourite part, the kissing and holding. Perhaps it was because her parents had considered the cuddling of children something poor people did. Whatever the reason, she found a blissful comfort in loving human contact. She considered it one of the main perks of having a boyfriend.

It was only as they were leaving and Jackie turned off her bedroom light that the second half of the present was revealed. Jackie and Eric stared at her ceiling which was gently lit by glow in the dark stars and planets. Hyde had tracked down a novelty shop which sold fluorescent stickers, invisible against a white ceiling but when the lights were off they would exude the electrical light they had soaked up. The glitter ball shone amongst them like the moon in the night sky.

"Awesome," Eric breathed. Hyde had not mentioned this part of the present.

"Oh, Eric," Jackie sighed. "It is just beautiful. Thank you so much! How did you know I always wanted to sleep under the stars without the risk of getting attacked by mosquitos or bears? I don't remember telling you that." She hadn't; but she had told Hyde.

"Oh well…um… lucky guess?"

"Eric, this must have taken you so long to plan and set up and I don't know what glitter balls cost but something that pretty has to be really expensive," Jackie turned her multicoloured eyes on Eric, glowing brighter than her ceiling stars, "and it all tells me one thing – this is a present from a man who truly loves me."

This jolted Eric, not only because whenever she used the "L" word it made him nervous, but also because he couldn't help thinking there was something in what she said. But this was no time to second-guess the guy who had saved him from relationship suicide today.

"You know what else I love? Cake. Especially birthday cake. So let's go find some!"

………………………………………………

Jackie had never been so happy, she was sure. Not only had her boyfriend given her the most amazing birthday gift, but now they were dining at a wonderful French restaurant where the waiters positively oozed condescension.

"Eric, this place is so classy," Jackie declared. "You can tell from the way the waiter sneered at us when he took our order."

"Well, for our anniversary I'll take you to a place so good the waiters slap you around for daring to speak to them," Eric promised. Jackie laughed, but then looked a little pensive. "Is something wrong, honey?"

"No, it's just… well, this has been like the best birthday I've ever had, Eric, except for one thing."

"What's that?"

"Steven. He hasn't talked to me all day. I waved to him to come join us at recess but he just took his tray and walked away. I just don't understand him."

"Hyde thrives on being misunderstood, Jackie. It's part of the whole rebel without a cause mystique he's got going."

"But it's my birthday! I thought that he would at least come over and wish me happy birthday."

"Maybe he forgot," Eric said. "I mean, that kind of thing happens all the time – it's completely natural and highly forgivable, I might add."

Jackie shook her head emphatically. "Steven knows how hurt I would be if he forgot my birthday the same way my parents did. He promised he would remember and get me a present, too. But my birthday is almost over and I am still present-less. Except for yours, of course. Have I told you how much I love my present, honey bear?"

Eric felt a wave of guilt wash over him for stealing Hyde's present and his credit. But telling the truth was out of the question; Now that he knew what significance Jackie placed on her birthday, he could not devastate her that way.

Trying to steer the conversation into safer waters, Eric said "So, for this weekend I've got a very special treat planned for us."

"Ooh, tell, tell!"

"I have got two tickets for _dramatic pause_ the Milwaukee Star Wars convention!"

Jackie wrinkled her nose. "A Star Wars convention?"

"Sure –it's like a Star Trek convention only better because it's got the people from Star Wars. Well, not too many of the main people – more like the extras and set designers and all that stuff. But the general that Darth Vader choked with his mind will be there and so will that defeatist pilot who told Luke they couldn't make that shot that would destroy the death star. It's going to be awesome." Jackie continued to look less than thrilled. "What?"

"C'mon, Eric – a Star Wars convention? Have you any idea how geeky that sounds?"

"What, you're calling me geeky? This from the girl who can quote every Star Trek episode where the situation was resolved by pitting the crew in a battle to the death against each other?"

"Eric, there's a big difference between being a geek in the privacy of your own living room and displaying yourself as one to all the world," Jackie explained, rolling her eyes. "Besides, Steven says those conventions are just huge dork-magnets."

"Well, far be it for me to disagree with the oracle of coolness," Eric snapped back, "but I don't see him as the grand authority that you do. Hyde looks down on every innocent pleasure. In his mind, if its not forbidden it's not cool."

"I think Steven knows a lot more about what's cool than you do, Eric," Jackie retorted, annoyed.

"Oh what, so I'm not as hip as your best buddy Steven?"

"Well, if the five dollar haircut fits…"

"Jackie, stop saying things you're gonna regret" Eric warned.

"Yeah? Like saying Star Trek kicks Star Wars' ass?"

Eric gasped in shock. "You take that back!"

Jackie crossed her arms and glared at Eric. "Captain Kirk would bitch-slap Luke Skywalker until he sent him running home to Tatooine, crying like a little girl."

"That is so… I can't believe… You are so…" Eric spluttered.

Jackie stifled her temper and sighed in resignation. She had thought she had come to terms with the drawbacks of dating a dork a long time ago but since Star Wars had come along it was a whole new ball game. Reaching across the table she took his hand in a peace-making gesture.

"Eric, let's not fight about this. We have to learn to be tolerant of each other's beliefs." Eric looked halfway mollified. "Maybe we should make a deal that you can raise our sons as Jedis and I'll raise the girls to be Trekkies."

"I guess that sounds reas – what? Oh my God, you're not pregnant, are you?"

"Eric, lower your voice," Jackie hissed, mortified as heads swivelled their way. "Go back to your food, you nosy people," she ordered. She turned back to the fear-stricken youth across from her. "Of course I'm not pregnant. I'm talking way off in our future – after we graduate high school."

"B-but that's only two years away," Eric pointed out.

"Well, yes, but if you were in prison two years would seem like a really, really long time. It's all relative."

"Uh, Jackie, I don't think I want to get married as soon as I graduate high school. I mean, there's college and careers and wild parties to get through before all that settling down stuff."

Jackie looked a little hurt. "But wouldn't all that stuff be better if you were permanently bonded to me?"

"Permanently bonded? Will Kelso be at the wedding with his super glue?"

"Just picture it, Eric. You and me in our own little house… little Jackie and Eric Junior playing in the backyard… me leaning over the fence to get cooking tips from your mother… you in the garage with your Dad fixing all the things our kids broke…"

""We live next door to my parents?" Eric said in a strangled voice.

"Uh huh," Jackie said brightly. "We'll all be one big happy family." Her face positively glowed when she said 'family'.

"You see, the thing is, when I think of the future the phrase 'one big happy family' doesn't really come up. The phrase 'get the hell out of Point Place' however – that's another story."

Jackie's face fell. "But Eric – don't you want to get married one day?"

"Jackie, that's light years away – like when people are driving flying cars and we're all eating dehydrated food like the astronauts. You and I, we're too young to be thinking about that crap. Don't you want to take risks, Jackie, and do crazy, stupid things and have wild uninhibited sex that's so intense its like your whole body has been set on fire? Don't you want that?"

Jackie stared wide-eyed at her boyfriend. His challenge to her had suddenly brought Hyde to the front of her mind again and she knew that wasn't right. She shook her head vehemently, as much to dislodge the vision of Hyde setting her body on fire as to negate what Eric said.

"No! I just want to feel happy and loved and… safe. I want a family, Eric. I want to never have to worry about being lonely again. Don't you get that?"

But Eric, who had never lacked the smothering and bullying pressure of a family, just stared back, unable to comprehend.

………………………………………………

"SURPRISE!"

Jackie simulated being taken unawares with such exaggeration that no-one bought it but they did appreciate the effort.

"What the – A surprise party? For me? I had no idea!"

"Happy birthday, honey," Mrs Forman said as she swooped down on the small brunette, enveloping her in fierce hug. Jackie looked around at the faces of all her friends; there was Kelso honking on a noise maker and there was Fez laughing because Kelso's unfurled noisemaker was tickling his neck. There was Donna gazing at Jackie and Eric. Jackie did not notice Donna's expression was more wistful than beaming as she was too distracted by the way Donna's cheap red sweater clashed with her hair. Really, trying to instil a sense of style into that girl was an uphill battle.

Although Jackie smiled at all her guests, her eyes still searched the room for one more person; someone with a magic fro and a cynical smirk just for her. Where was he?

"Many glorious returns, my goddess," Fez said, handing her a drink.

"Wow, Jackie, I didn't even know it was your birthday till Eric told us today," Kelso said. "Mrs Forman sure can throw together a mean last minute surprise party."

"Mrs Forman? But didn't Donna – "

"Hey, what are we all standing around here talking for?" Eric interrupted nervously. "We should be celebrating and giving out presents and all that kind of thing."

"Oh, Eric gave me the best birthday present ever," Jackie said eagerly. She then proceeded to describe the amazing display Eric had constructed in her bedroom. Donna knitted her brow as Jackie described the trouble Eric had gone to; there was something fishy about this.

As soon as Jackie turned away to talk to Mrs Forman, Donna grabbed Eric's arm and pulled him into the kitchen for a private consult.

"Alright, so what really happened?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Eric replied unconvincingly.

"Give it up, Eric. I know that up until lunch you obviously didn't know it was Jackie's birthday because we still had plans to study together tonight. Then Hyde pulls you aside for a top secret conversation and then you come out all "Happy Birthday, my precious". So tell me, exactly at what point between then and when you took Jackie home straight after school did you have the time to go all astronomical on her ceiling?"

"That is… you don't know…" Donna's hard stare withered Eric's denials on his lips. "Oh alright, I mixed up the dates, OK? I'm a terrible person and a sucky boyfriend."

"Then what about her birthday present?"

"Hyde did it," Eric answered. "It was really his present but he let me claim it as mine so Jackie wouldn't annihilate me. It was really big of him, considering…"

"Considering what?"

………………………………………

"Considering you've shipped away 5 beers past my better judgment, I think you'd better call yourself a cab, kid," the bartender said to Hyde.

"Kid? Who you callin' a kid?" Hyde slurred. "Says right here I'm 25 – See?" Hyde held up his fake ID.

"I don't think you want me looking too closely at that. It also says you're black which is really stretching the imagination."

Hyde scowled at the bartender, who just did not understand that this was where he was supposed to be, not at some stupid birthday party mooning over some unobtainable girl, watching his best friend reap all the benefits of Hyde's hard work. Jackie didn't know it, but his absence was the best birthday gift he could give her. He would stay out of her life and spare them both the shipwreck he had been steering them towards. As for him, he would return to the uncomplicated life he had led before his heart started sticking its nose into his business.

"Hey, stud, how about I give you a lift home," a smoky voice spoke in Hyde's ear. He turned to find a young woman dressed for the wrong kind of attention. Her predatory eyes told Hyde she was offering more than a taxi service.

"Well damn, there's an offer I can't refuse," he accepted, tossing back the rest of his drink. Time to get back to basics, Hyde thought to himself as he slipped an arm around the skank's waist.

………………………………………………

"What do you mean, back to basics?" Jackie asked impatiently.

"That's what he said," Kelso replied with a shrug. "It's like I was telling you, he's just getting back into the old Hyde groove. Seems his new fake ID came through today and he said he was going to road-test the hell out of it tonight."

"But what about my birthday party?" Jackie whined. She could not reconcile a bar-hopping, slut-hopping Hyde with the boy she had laughed and teased with for the past month.

"He said birthday parties are lame," Fez said. "Don't take it personally, Jackie. That's just Hyde. As if any party which has a cake decorated with candy could be lame!"

Jackie looked around the festively decorated living room. A surprise birthday party just for her was one of her favourite dreams come true. So why did it feel like all the heart had gone out of it just because one brooding burn-out hadn't turned up?

"I just don't understand," Jackie said dolefully.

………………………………………………

"What's to understand?" Eric said.

"Why exactly you picked a fight with Hyde. The guy could tear you apart without breaking a sweat."

"Donna, last Friday night I just kept getting this crazy feeling there was something going on between Hyde and Jackie. I mean, what he did for me today proves I was way off but back then I couldn't fight this feeling of déjà vu."

"Déjà vu? You mean like history was repeating itself? How is that possible? Jackie is your first girlfriend."

"Well, yes, she's the first girl I've actually gone out with," Eric agreed, starting to feel somewhat self-conscious. Should he tell her this? Oh, what the hell. "But she's not the first girl I've ever had those kind of feelings for."

Donna could swear her heart just stopped. "What do you mean?"

"Look, I know this is water under the bridge and ancient history and all that, but I think it's safe to tell you now that I… well, for the longest time you were my dream girl."

"Your dream girl?" Donna breathed, a hand fluttering over her mouth.

"Yeah," Eric admitted shyly. "I mean, I knew you would never see me the same way – you're so hot and amazing, it makes sense you'd be attracted to someone like Hyde. But even so, seeing him walk off with you sort of made me feel like he had stolen you away from me. I mean, I know I had no right to think that. Hyde told me about the heat that had been building between you and how you only saw me as a friend, but even so – "

"Hyde told you what? When?"

"Just after your first date. Pretty much dashed all my hopes then and there. You know, a guy doesn't go after his best friend's girlfriend, especially not if the friend makes it clear he's serious about the girl. But you don't have to feel sorry for me, Donna" Eric said as he noticed Donna's eyes were glistening. "I met Jackie that same day and we hit it off so well it really helped to distract me from my heartache."

"Did you tell Hyde about Jackie? As soon as you'd met her, I mean." Suspicions and a sense of betrayal were overpowering Donna so that it was hard to articulate the words.

"Yes I did, actually. He gave me some good advice about not telling anyone about her until the thing between us was solid."

"That's Hyde," Donna said bitterly. "Just full of good advice."

"Look, I'd better get back to the party before Jackie thinks I've walked out on her," Eric said, standing up from the kitchen chair. "I can tell she's already disappointed Hyde didn't show, she doesn't need me disappearing."

"Eric, listen, about what you said… you know, about your feelings for me – "

"Donna, like I said, it's ancient history," Eric assured her. "I'm with Jackie now. I just wanted to clear the air between us and to let you know that even though things didn't work out with Hyde, it doesn't mean he's the last guy who's ever going to love you because, you see… he wasn't even the first." So saying, Eric smiled a little sadly at his first love and walked out the door.

Donna stared vacantly into space for a couple of minutes after he had left, a lost expression on her face. That was until her fingers slowly curled into tight fists and her jaw hardened. Standing up so violently her chair fell over, she strode out of the sliding door and turned her feet in the direction of town centre. She was going to get some answers if she had to comb every seedy bar in Point Place to find a certain double-crossing ex-boyfriend.

**A.N.Hope you liked that, let me know if you did or even if you didn't. May be my last instalment for a while as I'm going on holiday.**


	16. Comeuppance

**Hey, I'm back from my break with a new chapter for you. Thanks as always for all your reviews to the last chapter, especially the detailed ones. Although I would like to respond to the anonymous reviewer that I don't think I've suddenly turned Eric into an asshole. After all, he forgot his own mother's birthday, so it's fair game to think he could forget Jackie's, or at least have an "Eric" moment and mix up the dates. His only other sin is being attracted to Donna while dating Jackie, but that's been there since the early chapters so I don't thinks it's a sudden 180.**

Chapter 16

"Thank you again for all the work you put into my party, Mrs Forman," Jackie said as she dried the plate her mother-figure had handed to her.

"Oh sweetie, that was all my pleasure," Kitty replied with a merry little 'ha-ha'. "You know I love throwing parties."

"So I can tell you must have done the cooking because, judging from Donna's grade in Home Ec, if she had been the caterer there would be a lot of mass vomiting going on right now. Did Donna handle the decorations?"

"Oh, no, I did that as well! I'm just a one-woman party machine." Kitty noticed Jackie's confused expression. "Is everything alright, dear?"

"No, it's just – well, if Donna didn't have anything to do with the party, I wonder what she and Eric were talking about yesterday. And why did she disappear so early in the night? She didn't even stick around long enough to give me a present."

"Oh you kids with all your intrigues and silly little problems," Kitty said with a happy sigh as she scrubbed vigorously at a casserole dish. "It takes me back listening to you all, when the biggest issue in my life was if a certain boy liked me or what another girl said about me." She paused to gaze misty-eyed out of the kitchen window. "When I look at you and Eric together it reminds me of my own high-school sweetheart – he was just so sweet and attentive to me, always paying me compliments and making little romantic gestures. We were so in love." Another sigh floated over the soap bubbles.

"Wow! It's hard to imagine Mr Forman being all sweet and romantic," Jackie said with wide eyes.

"Mr Forman? Oh no, that wasn't Mr Forman," Kitty said, highly amused. "I'm talking about Darren Zuckerman. I was so sure our love would last for all eternity."

"But it didn't? Oh Mrs Forman, I'm so sorry. I had no idea you had been crossed in love."

Kitty let fly a peal of laughter. "Oh heavens, Jackie, don't waste your pity on me. Thank God we don't always get what we wish for. Otherwise I'd probably be bored into a coma living with Darren. You see," she said conspiringly, "It turns out that it wasn't 'sweet' that I needed."

"Then what was it?"

"Kitty," Red barked as he stalked into the kitchen, "Will you get the pretty-faced moron and the weird foreign kid out of my living room? If I have to look at their cheesy smiles one more minute – well, let's just say it won't be punch you'll be scrubbing out of the carpet." He then noticed Jackie. "Happy birthday, Jackie," he said grumpily. "I'm going to bed."

Jackie looked wonderingly at the loving smile Kitty bestowed on her husband's retreating form. "That's what you needed?" she said in amazement.

Kitty patted Jackie's hand. "Don't worry, Jackie. One day you will understand for yourself."

It was at this point that Eric walked in. "Are you two finished here? Looks like I was too late to help with the cleaning up. Damn the luck!"

"Yes, I can see you're all broken-up about it," Kitty said with a touch of sarcasm. "Now why don't you take this pretty girl home before she comes to her senses and realises she can do better than a boy who goes into hiding whenever there is cleaning up to be done."

"My thoughts, exactly," Eric said, offering Jackie his arm. "Your chariot awaits, Milady."

As Jackie took Eric's arm, she resolutely put out of her mind the doubts Mrs Forman had just raised about her future with Eric, and even Eric's own objections earlier this evening. She _would _get her fairytale ending – she was Jackie Burkhart, damn it, and she always got what she wanted.

………………………………………………

"So, you're sixteen today," Eric said as he and Jackie smooched outside her front door. "How's that old phrase go – sweet sixteen and never been kissed."

"Guess I'm not so sweet," Jackie purred as Eric's tongue lapped at a sensitive spot under her ear.

"Well, now, there's an innuendo that needs exploring. What say we take this discussion up to Milady's bedchamber?"

"Actually, I'm kind of tired after all the excitement today, Eric," Jackie said. As she saw Eric's face fall, she justified, "Oh, come on – I already gave you sex today."

Eric frowned. "You know, I really wish you'd stop referring to sex like it's a unit of currency. You should be having sex with me because this hot bod of mine drives you wild with uncontrollable desire."

Jackie looked at him blankly for a moment and then burst into laughter. "Oh Eric, you and your jokes! Are you ever serious?" She bestowed a parting kiss on the tip of his nose before opening her front door and stepping through it with a little wave goodbye. Eric stared at her front door for a minute before sighing and walking to his car.

As Jackie walked into her living room the fond smile her boyfriend had put there fell off her face. There was Steven Hyde, sprawled in her father's favourite lounging chair with a cheap blonde slut smeared all over him. Traces of her garish red lipstick marked Hyde's unresisting face and her hands were just expertly unhitching his belt buckle when Jackie walked in.

"What the HELL is going on here," she bellowed, going from blissful to bitch in under 3 seconds.

Hyde peered blearily around the bleached head of his companion to find the source of the interruption. He frowned when he realised it was Jackie. Great, just when he'd drunk enough alcohol to dim her memory, the real thing has to show up and kill the mood.

"We're just havin' a little party, Jacks," he explained. "S'only fair – you all had a party so I get to have a party. Yay Hyde!" Hyde made a little spinning gesture with his finger to signify a festive spirit.

"So this is what you'd rather do than come to my birthday party? Get drunk off your face and fall on the first easy lay in reach?"

"Hey," the blonde objected indignantly.

Hyde ignored the bimbo. "Lay off, Jackie. You don't know what you're talking about."

"You forgot, didn't you?" Jackie accused, pointing her finger at Hyde. "Just like my parents! You couldn't keep it in your beer-swilling, pot-addled memory for one measly week. But why should you remember – it's not like I mean anything to you."

Hyde stood up abruptly, completely forgetting the girl previously lodged on his lap. "Oh, it's always about you, isn't it? What about my needs, huh? Do you ever think about that?"

The nameless blonde picked herself up off the floor and looked warily between the young couple glaring daggers at each other. "Oh no, I'm not getting in the middle of this mess! I may not be too choosy about my partners but I've got rules about coming between a husband and his wife." So saying, the scrupulous slut sashayed out of the house before either one could correct her misconception.

"Is that a sample of the usual brain trust you've been dating?" Jackie sneered.

"She happens to have a Masters degree in advanced physics," Hyde lied. "And what do you mean, 'been dating'?"

"Kelso told me what it means when you come home stinking of beer and sweat but like an idiot I didn't believe him. More fool me, huh? Look, _Hyde_, if you're so gung ho to pick up every STD going, would you mind not bringing your little tramps into _my _home? I believe there's some kind of residential zoning law about the housing of prostitutes around here."

"You ungrateful little –after all I did for you that's what you think of me? And what the hell business is it of yours if I want to screw every willing chick in this stupid town?" Jackie looked so thrown by this question that Hyde pressed his advantage, advancing upon her so that he was right in her face. "Tell me, _Burkhart_, why does the sight of a strange girl kissing me turn you into a shrewish little fishwife?"

Jackie's jaw dropped as she tried to think of a come-back; only problem was she couldn't think of a good reason for her strong reaction. Plus having Steven stand so close to her was jamming her radar, making it impossible to assemble thoughts in any coherent order. She looked into his intensely blue eyes and read a strange mixture of emotions; anger, hurt and something she couldn't identify but which set her pulse racing and gave her a funny glow beneath her tummy.

Observing Jackie's confusion, an obnoxious smirk took residence on Hyde's face. Jackie did the only thing she could do under the circumstances; kicked Hyde hard in the shins and then ran madly up the stairs to take cover in her bedroom.

"Yeah, you'd better run," Hyde called after her, as he winced in pain. "Cause any chick who tangles with Steven Hyde is going dow – " His sentence was cut short by the female fist that connected powerfully with his chin. Shaking his head dazedly, Hyde looked up from the ground to find an enraged amazon towering over him.

"Oh, hey Donna."

………………………………………………

There comes a point in every evil genius' career when he can no longer out-run his wrongdoings. Judging by the fire in Donna's eyes, Hyde knew his hour of judgment had arrived. Still, he could not resist trying to postpone the inevitable.

"So… you're looking well."

"Cut the crap, Hyde," Donna seethed. "It's taking every bit of self-control I've got not to beat you to a pulp right now."

"And I admire your forbearance."

"I figure I can hold it in until _after_ I get some answers from you."

Hyde gingerly rose to his feet, careful to keep his distance from the incensed redhead. "So you wanna tell me what's made you go all Rocky Balboa or are you just gonna shoot death rays at me all night."

"Oh, I'd be happy to lay it out for you, Hyde. But first of all, refresh my memory on that whole get-Eric's-attention scheme you cooked up. You know, the one where you were going to nudge Eric in my direction while pretending to date me?"

Hyde's worst suspicions were confirmed. Donna's punch had knocked a large part of the drunkenness out of him and this shock dispatched the rest. "Oh… I take it you've been talking to Forman."

"How could you, Hyde," Donna cried. "How could you betray me – use me that way?"

"Donna, you don't understand."

"Well, explain it to me because from where I'm standing all I can see is the kind of bastard who would sell out his two best friends just to get a little action."

Hyde grabbed Donna's arm. "Damn it, Donna, it wasn't like that! You've got no idea how long I'd wanted you. I would have made a move on you but your eyes were always glued to Forman so you never even saw me as a possibility." Hyde dropped Donna's arm and collapsed into an armchair, his sad blue eyes holding Donna's. "And then one day you came to me and delivered the perfect opportunity into my lap. That plan I had, you know, dating you to wake Forman up, it started out as mostly sincere with just a little hidden agenda on my part. I figured if I couldn't have you as my girlfriend for real well, half a loaf and all that. You know, I thought it might have worked out like I told you it would but Forman's self-esteem is so shot to hell he missed his chance. And after we kissed, I thought you kind of enjoyed it and that gave me hope that if you and I pretended just a little longer then it would become the real thing."

"So you told Eric that I only saw him as a friend and that I was in love with you?" Donna clarified, her voice still hard.

"Yeah."

"And you knew about Jackie from the beginning when I could have done something to stop it, but you told Eric to keep it quiet, didn't you."

Hyde dropped his eyes to study the carpet. "I just thought if he was happy with another girl then what I was doing wouldn't be so bad." Hyde captured Donna's glare once more. "Donna, I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong – even by my standards. It's just… I really thought I was kind of... you know… in love with you."

For the first time Donna's expression thawed a little. "Oh Hyde," she sighed. "You can't just force someone to love you – especially not when she's in love with someone else. It doesn't work that way."

"Donna, I would have given ten years of my life just to have you look at me the way you looked at Eric but as usual all the good things fall in his lap and he's too blind to even appreciate what he's got. It just seemed so unfair and I guess I went a little power mad, thinking I could rearrange the universe to give myself a break for once but now it's all backfired. No-one is with the person they should be with."

Donna eyed her ex-boyfriend suspiciously. "Are we still talking about me, Hyde? Or are you thinking of Jackie?"

Hyde effected an overly casual pose meant to reek of nonchalance. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh come on, Hyde. Eric told me about the present. The most you ever gave me while we were dating was a pack of gum but for this girl who's supposed to be nothing to you, you hang the moon! You map out the milky way on her bedroom ceiling – that is the most romantic thing I've ever heard of in real life and you, the most unromantic guy I know, did it for a girl you're trying to pretend you don't have any feelings for? Oh, and by the way I came in on that little spat you were having before Jackie ran upstairs and I think it's safe to say she is not entirely immune to you, either." This caught Hyde's attention.

"No kidding?" Donna smirked as she read the hope in his face.

"Oh my God, you really like her!"

"Do not! You like her," Hyde responded defensively.

Donna started to pace the living room as her brain cells worked overtime on this romantic triangle – or was it a rhombus?

"Hyde, you made this mess, now you have to set it right."

"And just how am I supposed to do that, Donna?"

"Why not stick with what works for you and steal Eric's girlfriend?" In spite of the flippant phrasing, Hyde could tell from the determined set of Donna's chin this was no joke.

"OK, first of all, you weren't Forman's girlfriend. You were still in play when I made my move."

"In play?" the feminist objected.

"Secondly, Forman and Jackie have a real relationship going. I don't know what she might feel for me, but I do know what she feels for him. If I come between them she'd be…" Hyde wanted to say heartbroken but thought it sounded too wussy. "…she'd be pretty upset."

"Oh, so now you're considering other people's feelings? Where was all this concern last year when you hurt me with all your manipulations? You owe me, Hyde, a hell of a lot more than some spoilt little cheerleader who gets everything she wants."

"Don't talk about Jackie that way. You don't know her."

"I know she stole the boy who told me tonight that I had been his dream girl for years. And I know she stole my ex-boyfriend's frostbitten heart, probably while we were still together," Donna said, thinking back to the disco night.

"You're crazy," Hyde stated, standing up from his chair.

"Sit down, Hyde," Donna returned with a strong push. She towered menacingly over Hyde. "Let me make this simple for you. Either you use your warped cunning to break those two up, or I'll go to Eric and tell him everything you did. Once he hears about the way you cheated us both, your friendship with him will be finished. I'll make sure of it."

Hyde's face remained unmoved but beneath his zen he was panicking. Forman, Red and Kitty, the basement gang – they were his anchor, the only thing that gave him a sense of constancy in his life. If he lost them he would truly be cast into the wilderness.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Donna? I thought you were Jackie's friend."

"I am her friend – kind of. Except when it comes to Eric. Where he's concerned, all bets are off."

As Hyde saw the grim determination in Donna's face, he found a new wrong he had done to her. Before she had dated him, Donna never would have conceived of betraying a friend for her own ends. The hard look of defiance in her eyes was the same look he saw in the mirror every morning. It was this guilty sense of obligation to his oldest friend that tipped the scales.

"Alright."

"Alright what?"

"Alright, I'll break Jackie and Forman up, OK? Are you happy?"

"Yes," Donna replied with satisfaction, ignoring the inconvenient promptings of her conscience. Having got what she wanted, she allowed a little compassion to break through. "I'm sure this is going to work out best for everyone, Hyde. Once you break them up, I'll have Eric, you'll have Jackie and we'll all be happy."

"Yeah, now if only I could shake this feeling that we're vultures circling a kill."

"Whatever," Donna said dismissively. "So… how are you going to do it?" Hyde looked a question. "How will you break them up?"

"I don't know. At one time I thought I'd show Forman up and let Jackie do the math, but I went soft and couldn't follow through."

"You mean her birthday present? I can't believe you let Eric take the credit for that."

"She just looked so sad…" Hyde said to himself.

"Focus, Hyde. We need a plan."

"Right. A plan." Hyde dragged a hand over his tired face, closing his eyes in apparent deep thought. When after a couple of minutes he still hadn't opened his eyes, Donna cuffed him over the head.

"Wake up, Dilhole!"

"Damn, Donna!"

"You're turning into Kelso before my eyes. OK, this is what you do. You have to seduce Jackie."

Seduce. The word beckoned Hyde with suggestions of luscious, open-mouthed kisses, panting breath, exploring hands. He closed his eyes again and could almost feel Jackie's velvet soft skin under his roughened palms. But then the image of Jackie's eyes, smiling so trustingly into his, scattered the kaleidoscope of sensual visions.

"Forget it, Donna. My face has been abused enough by you tonight, I don't need Jackie slapping it."

"I'm not saying you should grab her ass when she least expects it. All you have to do is turn up that sexual magnetism of yours."

"Sexual magnetism?" Hyde smirked smugly.

"Or whatever it is about you that makes a girl get involved with you even though she knows you're bad news," Donna said, rolling her eyes. "Hell, there must have been some reason I stayed with you so long."

"Yes, it was a special time for me, too," Hyde said sarcastically.

"If Jackie is drawn to you like I think she is, then it should be a cake walk for you. So all you have to do is kiss her at a time when Eric will see it. He already senses there's something going on between you so he'll think all his worst suspicions were right. Then he'll break up with her, come to me for comfort and voila – all will once again be right with the world!"

"Except Eric will think Jackie's a slut and I'm a traitor."

"Don't worry, he'll be so happy with me that I'll soon talk him around to forgiving you both. I promise – you know Eric can't stay angry at a friend for long."

Hyde gave a sigh of surrender. "I hope you're sure about this, Donna."

"Damn it, of course I'm sure. I've had enough of getting shafted by love. Now I'm taking matters into my own hands."

"Well, take it from someone who's tried and failed at the whole puppet-master game – it never ends well."

**A.N.As the good book says, "Review unto others as you would have them review unto you." I think there's something in that for all of us.**


	17. Good Jackie Hunting

Chapter 17

Jackie Burkhart awoke the next morning in a different frame of mind to the night before. That night she had tossed restlessly in her bed, the happy events of her birthday overshadowed by the conclusion of the evening. Burning with anger at Hyde, she resolved to have no more to do with him. Always he drew her in, luring her with the approving gleam that occasionally flashed in his eyes, but then the next day he would push her away. Well, she was done offering her friendship to him. From now on, Steven Hyde meant nothing to her. Now, if only she could convince her subconscious of that she might be able to get some sleep.

However, the next morning Jackie floated back to wakefulness aware of a delicious glow stealing through her body. There was some familiar scent in the air that made her feel as protected as a wild woodland creature by its mate. But there was something else, some other source of this sensation of wellbeing. It was only when she realised that somebody was gently stroking her eyebrows that she opened sleepy eyes to find Hyde perched on the side of her bed.

"Good morning," he said.

"Is it?" she replied dazedly. "What are you doing?"

"Smoothing your eyebrows."

"Oh." Jackie processed this information for a moment as Hyde continued his ministrations. "Why?"

Hyde shrugged. "They looked rumpled. I know how careful you are about your appearance."

"Steven," Jackie said, coming fully awake. "Last night – "

"I know," Hyde interrupted. "I was a dumbass."

"Yes, you were."

"I'm sorry, I just… I guess I had too much to drink."

Jackie sat up in her bed and Hyde dropped his hand away from her face.

"Why do you do that, Steven?" she asked sadly. "The night before my birthday, we were having so much fun together. Then yesterday you don't speak to me at all. Did I do something to make you mad at me?"

"What? No! Why would you think that?"

"I don't know – maybe because ever since the day I gave you that dancing lesson you have been all hot and cold when it comes to me. Like we were just becoming friendly before you moved in with me, but as soon as you did you were back to your old prickly self. Then when we moved past that and I started to think you really liked me, you treat me like crap on my birthday. You didn't even get me a present, Steven, and you promised you would."

"I did get you something, Jackie," Hyde protested, his eyes straying to the glittering globe dangling above Jackie's head. "It just got… lost." He considered briefly telling her the truth, but then figured he was doing enough to Forman without ratting him out on that front as well.

"Really?" Jackie answered in a tone that said she didn't believe him but she wanted to be convinced.

"Look, yesterday was just a dark day for me, OK? But I promise it was nothing you did. I'm really sorry if I made you think that." Jackie continued to regard him warily so he played his trump card. "Will you forgive me if I give you your birthday present?"

Jackie's face was transformed by Hyde's words as though the sun came out from behind clouds. "A present?" she squealed. "But you said – "

"Yeah, this is a different one," Hyde said as he pulled from behind him a clumsily wrapped parcel. He withheld it from her grasping hands, saying "So, are we good again?"

"Yes, yes, just give it to me!" In a moment Jackie's bed was a whirlwind of flying tissue paper. Hyde had never seen anyone unwrap a gift so fast; her hands were a blur of constant motion until –

"It's a t-shirt," Jackie said, holding up a black Led Zeppelin tee. "And it's used."

"Yeah, well, it's my favourite. You're my… friend so I want you to have it."

"Your favourite! Oh, Steven," Jackie was touched. Her brow crinkled thoughtfully. "Do I have to wear it?"

"No."

"I love it," she quickly decided and reached out to hug her curly-haired friend. She noticed that for the first time he did not steel himself against her touch but relaxed into it, even putting his own arms around her in return. She felt his breath hot on her cheek and thought for a moment he was about to press his lips there, but then he pulled away. For some reason, he was having trouble meeting her eyes.

"So, seeing as how I acted like a jerk to you yesterday, how about I take you out today and show you a good time?"

"But what about school?"

"Got it covered, kid. You and I just came down with a bad case of Asian flu."

"Are you suggesting we… ditch school?" Jackie asked, her voice dropping to a shocked whisper.

"Your first time, huh? Trust me, there is no-one better to lead you in the ways of truancy than myself. Of course, it was easier for me when I was living with my Mom because when I'd call up the school and say I had food poisoning, nobody who'd ever tasted Edna's cooking doubted it. That's why I'm using a different illness this time."

"Asian flu… it does have an exotic ring to it."

It was at this timely point that another ring interrupted the plotting couple. Jackie picked up her bedside phone and then fumbled the receiver in shock as she heard her father's voice for the first time in three months.

"Happy birthday, kitten," Jack Burkhart said, as though he had never faltered in his role of doting father.

"Daddy!" Jackie replied, making a complicated and frenzied charade to Hyde to make no noise. "You remembered!"

"Well, of course I did, princess. How could I forget that today is my little girl's fifteenth birthday?"

"Yeah, about that – it was actually yesterday. And I'm sixteen, not fifteen." Hyde scowled as he watched Jackie's face fall. Man, her dad was such a dilhole.

"Are you sure? I could have sworn… damn, that new secretary of mine is hopeless at keeping my schedule up to date." Jackie closed her eyes to tamp down on the sadness that might leak from them. You would think your only child's birthday would be a day that you could remember without a memo from the office staff. "Sorry about that, kitten. But I know how to make it up to you."

"By coming home?" Jackie asked hopefully.

"No, I'm afraid they really need me out here at the Boston office, cupcake. You know how it is; your daddy has to work extra hard to buy you all those pretty dresses you like. But look, you go down to the car yard and pick out a car just as cute as you are and tell them to bill your old man for it. How about that for a birthday present, hey? Who's got the best dad, then?"

Jackie automatically made the same response she had parroted since infancy; "I do."

"That's the way. So, how are you doing? Is everything good?"

"Well, actually Daddy, you and Mom have been gone almost a year now and I was wondering when – "

"Hold that thought, Jackie, I've just got an important call coming through. Can I put you on hold for a minute? Thanks, princess." Jackie blinked in amazement as the sound coming from the phone at her ear switched from her father's voice to a chimes rendition of 'Home on the Range'. She wondered how likely it was that when her father finished his 'more important' call, he would remember her? History had taught her the answer to that question, she thought, as she replaced the phone in its receiver.

"What happened?" Jackie's head shot up as she realised Steven had been a silent witness to the cross-country burn her father had given her. She feared his reaction to the proof that the richest girl in Point Place had everything except her parents' love; would it be pity or smug amusement? She was not prepared to see his eyes blazing with anger.

"Um… he had to take an urgent call," Jackie said, trying to shrug it off as no big deal.

"So what, he doesn't know when your birthday is, he doesn't even know how old you are and then he cuts you off when you try and tell him he should get his butt back home and act like a real Dad? What a complete and utter _asshole_."

Jackie gasped at the vehemence Steven put into that last word. "Steven! You can't call my father…I mean, he's not…" As Hyde's blue eyes challenged her to apply her usual brutal honesty to the current situation, her defence of her father petered out.

"Say it, Jacks," Hyde dared her in a low voice, stirring the hidden fire of years of resentment. "You know it's true."

"No," Jackie said in a small voice. "He's my daddy. He… he loves me. He's just very busy, that's all."

"So what are you saying, that you're not important enough to deserve his precious time? That you're not worth it? That it's your fault he ran out on you? That there's something wrong with you?"

Jackie stared in shocked hurt at Hyde; why was he saying such hideously cruel things to her? And what the hell did he mean, she wasn't worth it? She was Jackie Burkhart!

"Shut the hell up, Steven," she shouted. "There's nothing wrong with me! It's not my fault he left!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, God damn it! I never did anything to deserve this. I was the perfect daughter to him, never in trouble, always getting good grades. His leaving had nothing to do with me!"

Hyde rewarded the angry girl with a proud smile. "Say that again."

Jackie caught her breath at the look in Steven's eyes. "It… it had nothing to do with me."

"Very good. So, to recap, you are perfect which would make your father an…" Hyde waved his hand to prompt Jackie's response.

"Asshole," Jackie could almost feel years of confused guilt dropping from her back. A rush of adrenalin surged into her bloodstream at the freedom of one little word.

"And again!"

"Asshole!" Jackie shouted at the top of her cheerleader lungs. She picked up the phone still cradled in her lap and threw it with all her strength against the wall where it made a most splendid shattering sound. Hyde smirked as he remembered a similar incident from his own abandonment. They said divorce was hard on the kids, but that was nothing compared to the telephones.

"And what is your mother?"

"A bitch!"

"By George, I think she's got it!"

Jackie laughed wildly as she jumped up and down on the bed. "It's not my fault! It's not my fault, Steven! It's all them! They're the ones who aren't worth it!" Jackie gave one more mad bounce and propelled herself into Hyde's arms. He grinned to see the feisty glow back in her eyes.

"So," he said, his arms once again hoisting her body up against his chest, except this time she was wearing pyjamas, damn the luck. "What did you want to do today?" He groaned when he saw the devilish grin she was wearing; that was her shopping smile. "Jackie, No! Anything but shopping."

Jackie slipped out of his arms and flipped her glossy tresses over her shoulder. "That's alright, Steven. I know how shopping bores you. I'll just do it myself. I mean, it's not like you'd have any interest in helping me pick out a new car."

"A car?" Hyde double-taked.

"Mmmhmm. My… father said I can have any car I want, and I have such a hard time making up my mind that you know that's going to involve a whole lot of test driving. I'm sure you'd be much happier staying home and watching re-runs of Gilligans Island instead of tearing down the interstate with me and finding out if those numbers on the other side of the speed dial are there just for show."

"Hell, it is – or was – your birthday. If you want to drag me into top of the range Corvettes, Mustangs and El Caminos, I guess I can suck it up." Hyde said magnanimously.

"Hey, do you think we should call Eric? We can all skip school together."

Hyde was prepared for this. "Nah, Forman told me him and Donna have this important test today they can't miss. Not to mention that he's way too square to ditch school. In fact, it's safer not to tell him before the fact because knowing him he'd probably blurt it out to Red the first time Red looks sidewise at him and screw all our plans up."

"Alright, he'd probably be bored anyway. Car talk kind of goes over his head. And by the way, we will not be looking at El Caminos."

"Why not?"

"Steven, only criminals drive El Caminos."

"That just makes it fitting, I was planning on stealing something by the end of the day," Hyde said with a mysterious smile, his eyes flickering over Jackie's lips.

………………………………………………

"Where's Jackie?" Kelso asked as he set his tray down on the table, noticing the empty chair next to Eric.

"She's not in school today," Eric answered shortly.

"Yeah, I worked that out for myself, Eric," Kelso said with a touch of pride in his deductive abilities. "My question is more along the 'how come' lines."

"How the hell should I know?" Eric snapped.

"What's your problem, man?'

"Kelso," Fez said quietly with a nudge. His head jerked significantly towards Hyde's empty chair.

"Oh man, Hyde's ditching school and didn't even tell me," Kelso said indignantly. "I could have used a day off."

"I guess he found a new second lieutenant for his life of crime," Donna said as she slipped into Jackie's empty place next to Eric.

"They're probably just sick," Eric said, reassuring himself. He knew these suspicions of his were unworthy of both his best friend and especially his girlfriend, who had never given him cause for serious doubt. Still, it was strange that Jackie hadn't called him to let him know she wouldn't be in school.

"So, Eric, are you ready for the big sociology test next period?" Donna asked before biting into her sandwich.

"Oh man, I forgot all about it," Eric said with a groan. "My dad's gonna kill me if I fail this class."

"Well, there's still 45 minutes of recess left; how about you and I find some place private and do some one-on-one cramming."

"Donna, you would be saving my life," Eric declared, pushing aside the remnants of his lunch. "Let's go."

Kelso watched them walk away together with a dopey grin. "Whoa! If a girl said to me what Donna just said to Eric, I'd think she was coming onto me. Isn't that weird?"

Fez looked at his handsome friend with a pitying eye. "I see now just why you and Eric are lifelong friends; you have so much in common."

"Thanks, buddy. Although you're probably doing Eric too much credit lumping him in with someone of my amazing looks."

Fez sighed. "Truly, the Indians who sold Manhattan island for a few boxes of beads were quicker on the uptake than you two."

**A.N. I know this story is moving slower than Kelso's brain processes, but I'm having too much fun writing it. Thanks as always to those people who let me know what they think and please keep it coming.**


	18. A Walk to Remember

**A.N. Sorry for the delay in getting this out – hope I've made it worth the wait. The weekend is here so let's all get some R & R (read and review).**

**Chapter 18**

There is an old proverb about the road of the transgressor being hard. Steven Hyde, however, would have had a different perspective as he tore along Route 94 with Jackie by his side in a 1977 Mustang convertible. If you had asked him, the road he was on was freaking awesome and as he glanced at the gorgeous little brunette next to him, laughingly urging him to go faster, he couldn't remember a more rewarding day of hooky.

As they approached a quaintly old fashioned country town, Hyde slowed the car to a speed that allowed him to speak without the wind snatching the words out of his mouth.

"Man, this car was a cool choice," Hyde declared.

"Yeah, I always wanted a Mustang," Jackie said dreamily.

"That's funny. This baby is a real guy's car – built for cruising for chicks and back seat make outs. I figured you'd want some boxy little foreign number to get you from point A to B without mussing your hair."

"There you go again! Always talking like you've got me all figured out. What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm not some prissy little girl? Why, for all you know I could have a wild streak in me that would make your hair curl – even more!"

Hyde laughed as he pulled up in front of a rustic café. "What do you have to do? Now, there's a provocative question." Hyde allowed his eyes to rove suggestively over her body, lingering on the way her denim skirt rode up to mid-thigh. Jackie slapped his arm in mock anger.

"Pig! I'm not doing that," she protested, but a smile was fighting to break through her frown.

"Tell you what," Hyde bargained as they exited the shiny new car, "if you manage to boost something from this place, I'll revise my take on you."

"First you talk me into skipping school and now you want me to steal something? Honestly, spending a day with you is like taking a crash course in corruption."

"And the day is young yet," Hyde said, ushering her into the café. "Who knows what naughty things I'll talk you into by dinner time."

"Well, if anyone could it would be you," Jackie bantered merrily.

The waitress lead the young couple to a table for two on the verandah, overlooking a pretty view of newly blossomed trees crowded alongside a riverbank. Their teasing and laughing continued over a lunch of toasted club sandwiches and fries but beneath his relaxed exterior Hyde was calculating faster than a NASA computer. One word kept repeating itself in his mind; seduction. Would it work? On the one hand, Jackie was an easy target; she was naive, naturally affectionate and trusted him completely. Ironically, it was this last qualification that was holding him back. He had never had anyone look at him the way Jackie did, like he was so special to her. Donna had told him that when he didn't show up at her birthday party she had looked like a puppy whose master had failed to come home. All this made him believe that she cared for him, but he was not sure if it was restricted to friendship or, with a little push, might become something more. He grimaced as his thoughts ran down this path; he had rationalised this way once before with another girl and look how that turned out!

He was pulled from his thoughts as he noticed Jackie nervously palm a handful of sugar packets from the complimentary dish in the middle of the table and surreptitiously drop them into the purse on her lap. Hyde's lips twitched; really, could he really be blamed for adoring this girl?

"Hold it right there, young lady," he growled in a 'stern cop' kind of tone. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

"Steven, keep your voice down!" Jackie whispered furiously. "Don't draw attention to me."

"Oh, there'll be attention on you alright, when I walk you out of here in handcuffs. Me and my swat team have been watching you for months and now I finally catch you in the act. Let me introduce myself properly – Agent Hyde, Sugar Police!" As Jackie frowned at him, Hyde burst into laughter. "Jackie, those sugar packets are complimentary! How is that supposed to be stealing?"

"For your information, I just swiped at least a dozen of them which is way above the complimentary quota! So it does count, Steven Hyde!" Jackie stuck her tongue out by way of emphasizing her point.

"Whatever," Hyde chuckled. "So, what do you want to do now?"

"There's a path down there next to the river. Let's take a walk."

After the obligatory show of reluctance at doing something so Forman-ish as walking through spring flowers, Hyde agreed and the teenagers were soon strolling alongside the narrow stream. After a while Hyde noticed that Jackie had not said anything for the last couple of minutes, which was an unusually long silence for her.

"Something wrong, Jacks?"

Jackie turned to face Hyde with that little crease in her forehead that she got when she was trying to puzzle something out.

"Not wrong exactly. I was just thinking about Donna."

This set some alarm bells ringing. Hyde asked cautiously, "Donna? Why is she on your mind?"

"Do you remember how I told you that she and Eric were planning me a surprise party because I saw them talking in a sneaky kind of way? Well, it turns out that Donna had nothing to do with planning my surprise party which kind of makes me wonder… what were they talking about?"

Now what was he supposed to say? Your boyfriend and best girlfriend were probably planning their next secret rendesvous where they'd pretend they were just friends but look at each other like they were a breath away from tearing each other's clothes off? That probably wouldn't go down well. Then again, should he ease her fears and have her be totally blind-sided when Donna moved in on Eric? Maybe it wouldn't hurt her as much if she had a bit of warning. Jackie noticed his hesitation and drew her conclusions from it.

"Oh God, there is something between them, isn't there?" she gasped.

"What? No, of course not." But his voice lacked conviction.

"I didn't think anything of it at first, because she's not really Eric's type but there were times when she would look at him that I wondered… and they have such an easy way with each other, all teasing and comfortable."

"Sort of like you and me?" Hyde asked hopefully.

"Yes, but maybe it's not innocent like it is with us," Jackie said with a dismissive hand gesture. "Do you think that maybe losing you has made her rebound onto Eric? Breaking up with someone can make a girl do crazy things and Eric has been really supportive of her lately. Oh, I need to warn Eric to be careful not to give her any wrong ideas. It would be so embarrassing for him if he had to reject her unwanted advances."

Hyde was too irritated by Jackie's use of the word "innocent" to try to spare her feelings. About time she woke up to the fact that Eric was not the walking perfection she thought he was.

"Unwanted! Ha! Having Donna make advances on him has been Forman's wish for every birthday candle he's blown out since he was six. I wouldn't worry about sparing him any 'embarrassment'."

"What do you mean by that, Steven," Jackie said, grabbing his arm tightly and forcing him to look into her anxious face. Hyde instantly felt remorse; what the hell was he doing, upsetting her and ratting out his best friend who hadn't even cheated on her – yet.

"Forget about it, Jackie."

"No, I won't forget about it! You tell me what you meant by that right now, Steven Hyde, or your shins will wish they'd never been born!"

"Look, he used to have a some sappy childhood crush on her, but that was ages ago, before you came along. It doesn't matter now."

"Are you sure?" Jackie asked earnestly. Hyde nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Jackie sighed in relief. "Of course it doesn't matter. Why would he want any other girl when he has me?"

"It's a mystery to me," Hyde said with a sarcastic inflection to disguise the sincerity. Jackie slapped his arm playfully.

"Shut up! You really had me worried for a moment, Steven. You made me forget for a second the kind of guy Eric is. Even if another girl made some kind of play for him, he'd never cheat on me."

"Yep, that's Forman. Faithful as a labrador."

"Oh," Jackie said, stopping abruptly. Hyde noticed the walking path had turned towards the river and continued on the other side. A few stepping stones poking through the flowing water provided a means of crossing. "What a shame! I guess we'll have to turn back."

"Why? We just need to use the stones to get to the other side. Nothing to it."

Jackie eyed the water doubtfully. "Steven, are you crazy? What if I slipped and fell in? Something terrible could happen like I could drown or my hair could get wet. It's far too risky."

"Jackie, will you stop playing it safe for once in your cardboard cut-out life and take a chance? Maybe you will fall in but then again maybe you'll make it to the other side. And I don't know about you but I've got a feeling that the other side kicks ass."

Jackie bit her lip nervously as she eyed the river. "I don't know. It looks scary."

"Hey," Hyde said gently, raising her chin with a finger so she could see his sky-soaked eyes. "Do you really think I'm gonna let something happen to you?"

The tension left her body as Jackie smiled and shook her head. With a touch, that strange feeling of security that was unique to being with Steven worked its power. It was different to the safety she felt with Eric. With her boyfriend it was like standing on solid rock, secure and dependable. But with Steven, it was more like Dumbo's magic feather – an unlikely talisman which had no basis in reason but was just there, a mystic force which overruled the laws of nature. As Hyde slipped an arm behind her knees and raised her into the cradle of his arms, she looped her arms around his neck and laid her head against his shoulder as he carried her across the stream. Over his shoulder she watched the water churn around the rocks and likened it to the emotions Steven was stirring in her. The suspicion which had raised its head a few times lately that it was outside the boundaries of friendship to react this way to his touch was now blaring louder than a car alarm.

As Hyde set her feet down safely on the other side of the river, he saw some of those confused feelings roiling in the mismatched depths of her eyes. He knew he would never have a better chance; she was standing in the circle of his arms, her eyes soft and dazed, her breath slightly ragged. Slowly his mouth neared hers, his own heartbeat accelerating faster than her new Mustang. Just one more second… he could smell her sweet warm breath… one more second…

THWACK!

"Ouch," Jackie cried.

Hyde jumped backwards. Were they under attack? What was the strange missile that had just collided with Jackie's noggin?

Jackie picked up the plastic circular dish that had fallen at her feet. "Look! It's a frisbee."

Just then a young boy, not much older than 10, ran down from the slope above. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" he babbled. "Me and my brother was playing at being fighter pilots and we were pretending the frisbee was a flying saucer and we were gunning it down out of the sky – chugga chugga chugga," the boy mimed a machine gun, "just like Luke Skywalker but I threw it too far and I didn't mean to hit you with it, miss, and can I please have it back please?"

Jackie and Hyde stared at the earnest young fighter pilot standing before them clutching a toy light sabre. With his shaggy brown hair and glowing green eyes, there was no question who he was a walking reminder of. Jackie handed the frisbee which was covered in Star Wars stickers back to the boy with a friendly smile.

"That's alright," she reassured him. "Lucky for you I'm pretty hard-headed. So, you like Star Wars, huh?"

"Oh boy, do I! I'm trying to make my Mom take me to the big Star Wars convention on Saturday."

"Are you constantly whining and nagging her about it every five minutes?" The boy confirmed with a nod. "OK, just keep doing that and I'll bet she'll fold by Friday morning, afternoon tops. Maybe throw in a crying fit, just to drive it home."

The boy's eyes brightened. "Thanks! I'll do that. What's your name?"

"Jackie. And this is Steven."

"Hyde," her escort corrected.

"I'm Rodney. Well, I'd better get back. Sorry again for hitting you."

"That's OK, Rodney. I'll look out for you at the convention – my boyfriend is taking me to it."

Rodney looked at Hyde with new interest. "Wow! You take her to Star Wars conventions, Mister? That's so cool! You're really going to get lucky Saturday night."

Jackie gasped while Hyde smirked. "Get out of here, you sawn-off degenerate! And he is not my boyfriend," she called after the young lad running up the hillside.

His absence left an awkward silence between Jackie and Hyde. Jackie was not sure exactly what had happened or was about to happen before she got frisbee-d. Perhaps it had been her imagination that the air between herself and Hyde had suddenly thickened with a strange tension, perhaps there was a perfectly good reason why his face had hovered so closely over hers. But just to be safe, she had better make her alliances clear.

"So… Forman's taking you to a Star Wars Convention? Funny, I can't really see you at one of those." Hyde pulled out his glasses and covered his naked eyes as he spoke.

"Well, it's not exactly my idea of a fun day out but Eric is really crazy about it so… you know how it is. You make sacrifices for the people you love."

Hyde gazed at Jackie without expression before giving a barely perceptible nod. "I hear you." Jackie had the strangest feeling that although Hyde was within an arm's reach he had moved as far away from her as Australia. "C'mon, we had better be heading back."

Jackie followed him back the way they had come, except this time when they came to the stepping stones she walked across them by herself, silently rejecting his raised eyebrow that implied his assistance. She was proud of herself that she made it on her own, even if it did leave her feeling a little lonely.

………………………………………………

Donna eyed Jackie and Hyde suspiciously from her perch on the basement lawn chair. It had been a week since Donna's showdown with Hyde but, in spite of a satisfactory beginning when he had hi-Jackied the cheerleader for a day of school-ditching, not much seemed to be going on between them. Granted, Eric had been somewhat miffed that his two friends had absconded to go car-shopping without him, but after Jackie had suggested that they should go out to Mount Hump and test out the Mustang's "parking" features, he had come around with lightning speed. Since that day there was an infinitesimal reserve between Jackie and Hyde. She was not as quick to throw her arms around him in excitement and although they still joked and kidded each other, the slightly flirtatious note that had crept into his banter was now absent. All in all, Donna was feeling pretty dissatisfied with Hyde's progress and judging from the fact that Hyde was sitting alone in his chair and Jackie was sitting on Eric's lap on the far end of the couch, it did not look like he was making any effort to close that distance.

Donna was so preoccupied with shooting looks at Hyde that she missed the ones Fez was sending her way. He had noticed that Donna seemed restless and had not missed her sudden interest in Hyde which could only mean one thing; Donna was horny for Hyde. Fez had a very simplified reasoning system based purely on sex. As far as he was concerned, all motives came down to that glorious act which made up 99 per cent of his thought processes. After all, even though Kelso was definitely the most beautiful of the bunch, it was undeniable that Hyde was the sexiest. She must be feeling the pinch now that the love train had pulled out of her station. He wondered if he should offer his own services?

"Man, I'm bored and I'm hungry," Kelso moaned. "Can we go to the Hub now?"

"Yeah, fine," Eric said, as he and Jackie stood up. "Are the rest of you guys coming?"

"We'll follow on," Donna answered. "I just need to talk to Hyde about something first."

Fez smiled at the confirmation of his suspicions. _Yes! They're going to do it! They're going to do it! _ he chanted in his head. "I also will meet you there, Eric," Fez said. "I just want to stop off first and check out the latest Playboy."

"Oh yeah," Kelso said with a wide grin. "Let me know if you see something hot."

"I have a feeling I surely will," Fez said, looking over at Donna and Hyde. As the other three walked out of the basement with Fez following, no-one noticed Fez furtively slip behind the shower curtain at the last moment. He rubbed his hands silently together, gleefully anticipating the live porn.

"So Hyde, what's up with you lately?"

_Good beginning_, Fez critiqued. _Now, Hyde, make some reference to your pants._

"Nothing's up, Donna," Hyde said flatly, much to Fez's disappointment.

"Well, something should be up," _That was better. _"With you and Jackie." _What? Could there be a threesome in the works? Oh Hyde, you dog!_

"Everything's fine with Jackie," Hyde said dismissively. "Don't worry about it."

"Seeing as how nothing seems to have changed between you and Jackie and she and Eric are still hanging all over each other, I would say that you've lost your touch in the girlfriend-stealing department," Donna said snidely. "Could it be the great Hyde is out-matched by Eric Forman, the guy you once said is packing less testosterone than Liberace?"

_Girlfriend stealing?_ Fez frowned, recalling earlier suspicions. He had thought in the past there was something sexual about the vibe between Hyde and Jackie, but he had shrugged it off because he pretty much thought that about every male / female relationship.

Hyde was incensed at Donna's implication; that old competitive streak when it came to Forman was still alive and well. "Hey, you just leave Jackie to me," he blustered. "When I'm finished with her, she'll be ruined for other men."

"Well, get it done, for crying out loud," Donna said irritably. "I'm all tied in knots, waiting for it to be over with. Plus I need to know when you're going to do it so I can be handy to Eric. I don't want him wandering the school grounds crying on another cheerleader's shoulder after he dumps her."

"Fine," Hyde growled. "Can we go now?"

"Fine," Donna agreed just as curtly.

As the co-conspirators left the basement, the voyeur in the shower chewed his lip nervously. He could hardly believe what he had just heard and he did not know exactly what to do with the knowledge. If he told Eric, this could splinter the happy circle of friendship that provided the only human warmth in Fez's foreign exchange student life. Not to mention the very real possibility of Hyde beating him up for tattling secrets he should never have heard. Clearly, the most honourable course of action was to stay silent and give Hyde and Donna time to realise the error of their ways. Surely when they had time to think things over, they would repent of their evil plans. He was certain they would… almost.


	19. What goes around comes around

Chapter 19

**A.N. Here it is, the chapter one reviewer likened to a car crash waiting to happen. Well, we all knew it had to come. Thanks for the great reviews last chapter – they made my weekend.**

"What's that you're reading?" Hyde asked as he walked into the Burkhart living room.

Jackie looked up from the bundle of A4 pages bound together like a screenplay. "Well, do you remember that kid we met last Thursday? The frisbee fiend?"

"Oh, Rodney. Yeah, why? Did you see him at the convention last Saturday?"

"Yes – my strategy on his mother obviously worked, as I knew it would."

"I'm sure you're an expert in the field. So what happened?"

"Well, while Eric was waiting in line to get the autograph of what looked like a walking mop-head, Rodney dragged me over to this shifty looking guy lurking in the shadows. Seems the man got his hands on a bootleg draft of the script for the next Star Wars movie."

"What, they're bringing out another one already? The first one was only released a few weeks ago."

"They're not making it yet but an outline for the next one was written along with the first. It seems the movies have been written as a trilogy. In fact, I heard some Star Wars geeks arguing about whether Lucas was planning on doing three sets of trilogies and another one said there was going to be 4 sets. Can you imagine 11 more Star Wars movies? We'd never get Eric back to normal again!"

"So what's supposed to happen in the next instalment?" Hyde asked with interest.

Jackie's lips twitched into a smirk. "Do you remember how I said there was something going on between Han and Leia but everyone was like, 'you're crazy, she's hot for Luke'."

"By everyone you mean Eric?"

"Whatever. I present to you Exhibit A in support of my world record for being right more often than anyone else ever," Jackie said, handing the script to Hyde, folded back to a certain page. Hyde scanned the page and whistled when he realised what he was reading. He read on for a few more pages and then met Jackie's triumphant expression with an evil grin.

"My God, Jackie, do you realise what you have here? This isn't paper – it's hydrochloric acid! It's going to burn holes through Forman!"

"He is going to look kind of silly," Jackie admitted, taking a guilty pleasure in the idea. After all, the way Eric had been droning on about Luke and Leia lately was really getting old. Especially since the other night he had tried to talk her into wearing her hair in the headphone buns sported by Leia. Jackie didn't care if the girl was a princess, no-one looked good with that hairstyle. Plus he had been so patronising when she had disagreed with his take on who the hot couple of the movie were.

"C'mon! Let's go over there now and show this to him. We'll roast him together, tandem-style."

"Well… I don't know. I mean, I bought the script as a present for him. Seems kind of mean to use it against him."

"Jackie, remember when you asked me to teach you how to burn? This is your moment to graduate from amateur to pro. With this material, you could go down in basement history as author of the best burn ever."

"Really?" Jackie said, tempted. "Oh, alright then. Let's do it."

Hyde hid his cynical smile from Jackie as she used the words Kelso had made synonymous with sexual intercourse. As he followed Jackie's lithe form out to her car, he mused that he might not ever get to "do it" with her, but at least he would have this small victory over Forman; teaching his girlfriend how to burn her lover to a crisp.

Since that moment by the river when fate had sent a miniature Eric with wide innocent eyes to reproach Hyde for his near girlfriend-snaking, he knew he could not follow through with Donna's plan. Jackie was in love with Eric, Eric was his best friend and he would not be able to live with himself if he burst their shiny soap bubble of romance. Of course, this still left the problem of what to do about Donna. When she had trapped him the other day he had let her think he was still on board with her scheme, stalling for time in which to find a solution to the corner he had painted himself into.

"Wake up, Steven! Are you going to stand there like a cigar-store Indian all day or get in the car?" Jackie's voice cut into his troubled thoughts.

"Patience, grasshopper. I'm just preparing my zen," Hyde lied. "It's the first step in burning someone – don't give them any clue as to what you're thinking. It makes the burn so much sweeter when it's unexpected." With that, Hyde got into her car and they drove to the Forman house for a burn which certainly would go into the basement record books, but not for the reason either of them had counted on.

………………………………………………

"No!!! It's not true! That's impossible!" Eric cried, throwing the dog-eared script to the ground as though it were contaminated.

"Oh, sorry, Forman. Didn't you see that coming?" Hyde taunted.

"Jackie, be straight with me. This is all just some elaborate practical joke, right? You didn't really get this… thing… at the convention, did you?"

Jackie rolled her eyes, impatient with her boyfriend's histrionics. "Come off it, Eric. It's just a movie, after all. A movie that apparently I get better than you do."

"She's something, isn't she?" Hyde threw a warm smile Jackie's way which she bounced back with an answering gleam in her eyes. Eric, intercepting the complicity of the burn, stumbled backwards in shock.

"My God, I can't believe this. I'd expect this kind of thing from you, Hyde, but Jackie? Why are you doing this to me?"

The pathetic wail of her tortured boyfriend activated Jackie's remorse and she made a conciliatory step towards him. "Eric…" But before she could continue he waved her away with his over the top hand gestures and walked into the house, leaving Jackie and Hyde standing in his driveway.

"So," Hyde said, turning towards his partner in torment, "that went well."

"Do you think we should go after him?" Jackie asked, biting her lower lip in worry.

"Nah, give him some time to cool down. He'll get over it."

Hyde would not have been so blasé if he had known the method Eric would use to 'get over it'. Hyde always kept a stash handy in the basement, it's location a secret to everyone but him, or so he fondly believed. However, one day when Eric was going through his record collection he had found that his Doors album held more than just the poetic ramblings of Jim Morrison. He had too much respect for his friend – at least, his friend's frogging fist – to abuse this inside information but such considerations were swept away by the traitorous actions of his best friend and his girlfriend.

And so it was that when Donna walked into the basement half an hour later, she found Eric far gone in a circle of one. She could tell by the vacant stare in his eyes that he had just undergone some kind of shock. Her breath caught in her throat as it occurred to her what that shock could have been. Had Hyde finally fulfilled his promise? She both hoped and dreaded the possibility, craving the result but hating the means.

"Eric," she said tentatively. "Is something wrong?"

"Everything's wrong," he replied in a desolate voice. "My whole world has fallen apart, Donna. Everything I believed in, that I held to be true… Oh God, the betrayal of it all."

"Betrayal? Who betrayed you?"

"Jackie, that's who," Eric spat. "Her and Hyde. They knew what this would do to me."

"Jackie and Hyde? When did this happen?"

"Half an hour ago. In the driveway. Man, I wish I'd never seen them today. I was happier not knowing."

"Oh, Eric," Donna said softly. Her suspicions were confirmed; Eric had obviously surprised Hyde and Jackie in a love tryst.

Eric turned to Donna with sad, dilated eyes. Without another word, she pulled him into a comforting bear hug which he gladly sank into, all his inhibitions temporarily removed by the 'film'. A warm rush of feeling overcame him as Donna cradled the back of his head in her large hands. There was no-one like this lovely caring girl. She had always been there for him through all his childhood trials. From a hazy feeling of gratitude for her steady friendship and maybe something else that he didn't look at too closely, he pressed his lips against her cheek. Donna froze for a moment but then slowly turned her face around so that her lips were lined up with Eric's, almost touching for a few seconds until she took the plunge and pressed them against his. At first Eric did not respond and Donna's heart sunk down to her feet. But then it was as though Eric's thinking processes were suspended and he became a body of pure feeling. He fisted her silky red hair in his hands as he pulled her mouth deeper into his, their tongues duelling for control of the kiss which escalated rapidly to a fiery-hot passion neither had ever felt before. Their hands moved frantically over each other's backs, with one object in mind; closer, harder, deeper. Perhaps Eric would have come back to his senses if he had a little more time, then again perhaps he and Donna would have rolled onto the floor together. How that kiss would have ended is a mystery because what did happen was the basement door suddenly opened and Eric's girlfriend walked into the room, repentant and ready to make things up to her honey bear.

"Eric, I'm sorry if I hurt…" her voice petered out as her eyes rounded. At first she couldn't comprehend what she was seeing; Eric lying practically on top of Donna, their mouths sucking on each other with the vigour of sea molluscs. When it hit her, she felt as though all the air had been removed from her lungs and all she could do was stand there, her mouth gaping wide like an open wound.

"Jackie?" Eric said hazily. The surreal world in which he had finally kissed Donna the way he had always dreamed suddenly crashed back into reality, a reality where he had just been caught by his girlfriend frenching another girl. As he witnessed the deep pain he had put in her eyes, he had a sickening realisation of what he had just done.

"No, Jackie, it's not what you think!" But he was talking to Jackie's back as she turned and fled the basement. "Jackie! I didn't mean it," he cried. He tried to go after her but when he stood up his legs were too unsteady to support him and he ended up sinking onto the floor. The nightmare did not end there, as he found himself now facing another hurt female.

"What do you mean you didn't mean it?" Donna accused, tears standing in her eyes. "Eric, I thought… I thought you wanted me."

Eric gaped at her, trying to assemble the words that could explain his position; that he had not been fully aware when he kissed her, that he had had so many hot visions of her when he was high that the line between dream and reality had been hopelessly blurred. That even though he had unresolved and mixed up feelings for Donna, he loved his girlfriend and felt the pain he had just inflicted on her as deeply as though it was his own heart he had just cut open. As it was.

In the end, he turned away from Donna's open reproach and buried his head in his hands, keening for the loss of his happy little world where scrawny underdogs rescued and wooed beautiful princesses and carried them away into the sunset.

………………………………………………

It was the quietness that alerted Hyde that something was wrong. When Jackie entered the house, it was usually done with flamboyance, drama and above all, noise. But this time there was no "Here I am, ready to bring colour into your drab, grey life," or "You won't believe what happened at cheerleading practice today." There was nothing but the quiet click of the door latch settling into its groove and the hollow clatter of her clogs slowly making their way across the wooden floor.

Hyde went in search of the silent intruder and came upon Jackie with her hand on the banister, looking up at the stairs as though there were just too many of them that day and she didn't know how she was going to make it all the way up.

"Jacks, what's wrong?" As Hyde turned Jackie towards him, he drew in a sharp breath. He had seen Jackie's eyes alive with many emotions; anger, joy, sorrow, frustration, overconfidence. He had never seen them empty. They even appeared lighter in colour, as though whatever had sucked all the happiness from her heart had drained her irises as well. At first Hyde didn't think he would get an answer to his question but then Jackie's eyes filled with their first tears since her world had been shattered. Bonelessly, she collapsed into Hyde's arms as the first sobs poured out of her, weeping so violent that it seemed to shake her small body apart. Wordlessly, he picked her up and carried her to her bedroom. When he tried to lay her down on her bed she clung to him desperately, unable to speak as yet but still communicating how much she needed him. With unspoken understanding, he lay down on her bed and held her tightly as she wrapped herself around his body, drawing on his strength to get her through this nightmare.

Sometime during the long night that followed Jackie managed to speak a few words to enlighten Steven. He caught the words "Eric", "Donna", "kissed" between her ragged sobs. Mostly the night was a pattern where Jackie would surrender to her exhaustion and slip into brief periods of oblivion, only to wake up and have the memory of Eric's betrayal hit her as hard and fresh as that first horrible moment. Through it all Hyde held her close in the protection of his arms, silently cursing his best friend for being the cause of this beautiful girl's misery. He didn't know what to do yet, but somehow he would fix this.

………………………………………………

In a less high toned neighourhood, the causes of Jackie's misery spent their own sleepless nights. As Eric stared at his bedroom ceiling his mind was trapped in a loop of self-recrimination that just kept repeating "dumbass… dumbass… dumbass". He could not reconcile what he done to Jackie with his own high opinion of himself. He was the good guy, the white knight, the boyish hero. He wasn't supposed to break a sweet girl's heart for the sake of making out with a ravishing hottie. That was the kind of thing Kelso would do, or Hyde, but never Eric. He had wanted to go to Jackie that night, but he knew if he stood before her and faced her red rimmed eyes he would have no words to offer in his own defence. How could he excuse what had happened; even yet he did not understand how it happened or why. But beneath all his mental self-laceration, a seed of resentment grew against a certain flame haired wench for instigating this whole catastrophe. Why did Donna have to kiss him?

First thing tomorrow morning, he would go to Jackie's house and beg her forgiveness. Somehow he would fix this.

………………………………………………

In her own bedroom, Donna stared out her window to gaze into Eric's dimly lit bedroom, gently illuminated by his night light although he would vigorously deny owning such an item if he was pressed. It was just another of the silly little things about him that she loved.

Donna's remorse was much more clear cut than Eric's because she had no confusion about her accountability in this mess. She had thought that if she ended up with Eric, it would be worth the price of whatever guilt she had to bear in so doing. She had convinced herself that Jackie was too shallow to care deeply for Eric and would be just as happy with Hyde, that Eric was only using Jackie as a pale stand-in for herself and would soon realise that he was much better off with his 'dream girl'. But from the suffering she had seen on Eric and Jackie's faces that day when Donna had turned Eric from the good guy into a cheater, she knew there was no rationalisation which could excuse her part in it. She had wanted to make Hyde the villain who came in between the teenage sweethearts but instead she had accidentally thrust herself into that role. Stupid poetic justice! And what had it all been for? To have Eric look at her blankly when she asked him if he wanted her? To have the closest thing she had to a girl friend regard her as though she was some skanky monster? Bitter tears crept down her cheeks as regret and guilt stabbed her newly awakened conscience.

Tomorrow morning she would explain everything to Jackie and take all the blame for this disaster. Somehow she would fix this.

**A.N. By the way, that thing about 12 Star Wars movies being the original plan, I found that fact on Wikipedia. George Lucas made the announcement in 1978 but later retracted it. At one time there was talk of there being 20 movies!**


	20. So close!

Chapter 20

**A.N. I know you are all feeling Jackie's pain but I promise things will get better for her. You know she's my favourite and I wouldn't let her suffer for long. I quite like the way this chapter turned out – let me know if you agree.**

The next morning Jackie awoke to the sensation of warm breath against her cheek. She came to consciousness to find her back spooned against Hyde, his arms loosely surrounding her. As she prodded the memories of yesterday as gingerly as you would a sore tooth, she found that the raw pain had numbed to a dull ache. She also felt like the skin on her face was stretched a size too small from all the tears she had shed. Gently she stroked Steven's hand which covered hers. She did not know how she would have made it through last night without him.

"You awake?" she heard him say, feeling the vibration of his voice against her body.

"Uh huh."

"Um… how do you feel?"

"Like a butterfly caught in a bicycle's spokes."

"That bad, huh?"

"It's an improvement. Last night I felt like a field mouse run over by a combine harvester."

"Oh, in that case, you're practically good as new."

"Steven," Jackie said, turning in his arms so she could look into his dear eyes, "I just wanted to thank you for being there for me last night."

"That's cool," Hyde zenned.

"It was more than cool. Steven, you are the best friend I have ever had."

Hyde felt a strange lump in his throat as he looked into her eyes drenched with warm sincerity. He felt honoured to have such a title, although a busy little voice in his head kept whispering _Now that they're broken up, maybe…_He tried to stifle the voice whose timing was way inappropriate, but the fact that Jackie chose that moment to lean forward and brush her lips against his cheek did not help matters. Did she have any idea how much she turned him on when she made these innocent little gestures?

Just at that moment they were interrupted by a knocking on the front door. _Figures_, Hyde thought. _Soon as things start getting hot, someone busts in on us._ Jackie tensed in his arms.

"Steven, if that's Eric I don't want to see him."

"Are you sure? Maybe you should hear his side."

"There's nothing he could say to make this better, Steven," Jackie said harshly. "I saw them. I saw him kiss her in a way he never kissed me – like he was trying to eat her or something. Like he couldn't ever get enough. It was disgusting and horrible and I don't want to see either of them ever again."

"OK, calm down. I'll go get rid of him."

After Hyde made his way downstairs Jackie crept to the stairwell. In spite of her words a part of her needed to hear what Eric had to say.

"Where's Jackie," Eric said as soon as Hyde opened the door. He tried to shove past his friend into the house. "Get out of my way, Hyde! I have to talk to Jackie."

"Forman, Jackie doesn't want to talk to you," Hyde said, denying Eric access.

"I have to explain," Eric cried.

"Explain to me, then. What the hell happened between you and Donna? What exactly were you and her doing, alone in your basement yesterday afternoon?"

"I don't know how it happened," Eric said, running a distraught hand through his hair. "I was upset about the burn and she was comforting me and then one thing led to another…God, Hyde, you know how long I was in love with her – "

Jackie had heard enough. Choking on a fresh sob, she ran back up the stairs and threw herself on her bed.

" – or I thought I was in love with her," Eric finished. "But the fact that she could kiss me like that when she knows I have a girlfriend who's also her friend, it makes me think she's not the girl I thought she was."

"From what I hear there was some reciprocating with that kiss. A lot, in fact."

"I was high! I wasn't thinking – I wasn't even sure if it was real or not. Damn it, Hyde, you know how out of it I can get when I've been smoking."

"What? Where did you score the stuff? You took my spare stash, didn't you, Forman?" Hyde was outraged. Although not usually big on the laws of property, especially when it came to other people's, when it came to his own 'baggie' he was as stiff-necked about his possessions as a 19th century English squire.

"Hyde, there's a bigger issue at stake here," Eric said nervously. "Now, if you'll just let me speak to Jackie I'm sure we can – "

"Yeah well, Jackie isn't receiving visitors right now," Hyde answered sneeringly. "Why don't you go and steal some other guy's weed and clock up some more nookie time with Donna while you're waiting for her." With that he slammed the door in Eric's face.

Jackie heard the front door slam and knew Eric had been turned away. From a tragic impulse to look upon her beloved for the last time, she peeked through her window to watch him shuffle sadly away. That was until his body suddenly went taut as his eyes fell upon Donna, standing at the end of the Burkhart driveway. As Jackie watched in horrified disbelief, Eric broke into a sprint, arms outstretched to Donna. It was like a scene from some corny soap opera; all that was a missing was a meadow of flowers. Before her eyes could be further violated, Jackie spun around and started searching frantically for her suitcase.

"Donna, what the hell are you doing here?" Eric shot out, his hands grabbing her by her upper arms to halt her advance. "Haven't you done enough damage?"

"Eric, I just came here to explain things to Jackie." Donna regarded Eric with remorseful eyes. "I'm so sorry about yesterday. What happened…"

"Yeah, what did happen? How could you do that to me? You know I'm with Jackie! Now she won't even see me!"

"I thought you had broken up with her," Donna cried, breaking his hold. "I mean I come upon you looking like someone had just run over your pet turtle and you blather on about Hyde and Jackie betraying you in the driveway – what was I supposed to think?"

"That? They had just burned me together – pretty severely, too. But we never broke up. We were doing great until you assaulted me with your lips!"

"Hey," Donna snapped. "That kiss wasn't a solo act, buddy! You were the one grabbing onto me like a spider monkey."

"Why?" Eric cut in. "Why did you have to kiss me? Broken up or not, I don't get it."

_Because I'm in love with you, you moron _Donna wanted to shout. But standing outside his girlfriend's house did not seem the appropriate place to voice the sentiment, so she said "Look, I'll explain it all later. Right now I have to talk to Jackie. Eric, I promise I'll do everything I can to fix this."

Eric looked into Donna's earnest face and then up at his girlfriend's window. Perhaps Jackie would listen to Donna. After all, she was less prone to the whole foot-in-mouth thing than he was. She would at least be able to get past Hyde.

"OK, I appreciate that. If you could just stress that I was really out of it when we kissed and didn't know what I was doing, that would be good."

"You were?"

"Well, yeah – I mean, I was so baked I probably would have kissed Fez if he had come onto me and considering he just might have been up for it, I'm thanking God it was just you." Eric's little attempt at humour to lighten the mood missed Donna's funny bone by a wide margin.

"Yeah, that must have been strong stuff you had burning," she replied in frosty tones. "I was only there a few minutes and it had me thinking you were worth kissing. What a joke, right?"

"Well, not really," Eric said, thinking over her words. "To be honest, I find that a little hurtful."

Donna rolled her eyes and muttered "dumbass" as she shouldered past Eric. She was knocking forcefully on the front door for a good few minutes before it finally opened.

"Forman, I told you to – oh, it's you, Donna."

"Hyde," Donna replied by way of greeting. "I… um… I need to speak to Jackie."

Hyde leaned casually against the doorjamb, regarding Donna with his most supercilious smirk. "Oh really? Wow, I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation. Maybe I could suggest some good lines to open with. You could take the Get Smart approach – 'Listen, I hope I wasn't out of line with that whole sticking my tongue down your boyfriend's throat thing'."

"Thanks, Hyde, but I've learned better than to trust any advice you're offering." Donna took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eyes. "I'm telling her everything, Hyde."

Hyde straightened up at this. "Now, when you say everything, do you mean…"

"Everything! Your underhanded schemes," Donna looked rueful, "my underhanded schemes, everything!"

"You know, I don't think you really need to drag me into all this," Hyde said uneasily. "It's not like I had anything to do with your little seduction scene yesterday."

"The hell you didn't! You're the one who started all this! Not to mention if you hadn't agreed to steal Jackie away, I wouldn't have jumped on the conclusion that Eric was a free man and then I wouldn't have…"

"Jumped on Eric?"

"Shut up and get out of my way," Donna growled, ready to push past Hyde.

"The hell I will," Hyde answered, shoving her back and pushing the door closed. Donna pushed against the door with all her might before it could close so the two were locked in a battle of equal strength.

"Stop it, Hyde!"

"You're not taking me down with you, Big Red," Hyde grunted.

"Jackie should be set straight," Donna panted, slowly winning the battle of the pushing.

"Alright, fine!" Hyde said. Donna, taking his words as surrender, let up the pressure from her side of the door. This of course led to the door being shut firmly in her face. As she heard the lock slip into place, she banged an angry fist against it.

"Hyde!" she yelled.

"Don't worry, I'll set her straight," he called back to Donna. He figured the only chance he had of Jackie not thinking him a complete jerk was if he could find a way to break these revelations to her himself. A guilty confession was better than a tell all from your angry ex-girlfriend.

"This isn't over, Hyde," Donna yelled, before giving the door a final kick. "I'll be back! You can't shield Jackie forever!"

Hyde was cursing to himself, wondering what his next move would be, when Jackie came downstairs lugging a suitcase. "What was all that shouting and banging about?" she asked.

"It was just Donna," Hyde said without thinking.

"Donna?" Jackie dropped her bag and strode toward the front door, multicoloured eyes flashing. "First she steals my boyfriend and then she has the gall to try and barge into my house? Where is that Judas? I'll tear her stupid Raggedy-Anne hair out clump by clump!"

Hyde was more successful restraining Jackie that he had been Donna but it was still no picnic. When she started kicking him in an attempt to escape, he picked her up and slung her over his shoulder. "Well, at least you're making progress. You've moved from the grief stage to anger," he said as she pounded his back with her little fists. He regretted the words as, reminded of her loss, she went limp and started crying. "Hey, cut that out," he said, letting her down again. Jackie moved naturally into his embrace as she sniffled against his shoulder.

"Steven, I have to get out of here."

"What, the house? That's not a bad idea. How about I take you for a drive?"

"No, out of Point Place." Jackie pulled herself out of his arms and walked over to her suitcase. "My parents own a ski cabin up in the snow country. It's a couple of hours drive from here."

"You want to go on vacation?" Hyde asked, eyeing the large suitcase. That looked like more than an overnight bag.

"I need to go some place where there's no chance I'll bump into Eric or Donna or… well, just anyone."

"For how long?"

"I don't know. A week, maybe. I just need to go somewhere and… get strong." Jackie said, turning imploring eyes on Hyde.

Hyde was greatly tempted. If he had Jackie to himself for a week with no Donna making damaging disclosures and no Eric trying to win her back and no ten year olds spinning frisbees through his mojo, maybe he would finally have the chance to tell her the things he had been aching to say for so long. There was only one thing holding him back; the best friend code. Damn, his conscience was such a pain in the ass.

"Maybe you should hear Eric out before you write off your relationship with him," he said unwillingly.

"I already know it all. I heard what Eric said; I was listening in on the stairwell."

"And so the circumstances of the kiss – that makes no difference for you?" Hyde was thinking about Eric being under the influence.

"No," Jackie said shortly, thinking he was referring to Eric's long-held love for Donna.

On the outside Hyde was calm and collected but mentally he was punching a fist in the air shouting _Yes!_ The best friend code had been satisfied.

"So where exactly is this ski cabin?"

………………………………………………

Eric sat alone in the basement, staring sadly at a scented candle which had just finished melting into a puddle of wax on the coffee table, when he heard a heavily accented voice singing:-

"_By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down _

_ye-eah we wept, when we remembered Zion."_

Eric sighed for the fortieth time. The words were right on the money, even if the catchy Boney-M tune didn't really fit in with his depression.

"Hello, my American friend," Fez greeted cheerfully as he entered the basement. "Mmm, what's that smell? Sandalwood and lavender, if I'm not mistaken, with just a hint of nutmeg."

Eric looked at Fez as though he was thinking _Well, that settles the 'is he or isn't he' debate._ But he merely said "That was the candle Jackie gave me for my birthday."

"Oh, Eric, there is no need to be so sad because it is gone. I am sure she will give you another candle for your next birthday. Although if I were you I'd hint for some new pants instead – something that will set off your butt cheeks to advantage. It never hurts to remember that just as we are fascinated by women's breasts, they are even more drawn to our pocket-melons."

"Fez, I don't think Jackie will be giving me any more scented candles; not unless they're made of nitro-glycerine."

"What do you mean?"

"We broke up yesterday." With a brave effort Eric controlled his lower lip wobble as he said the words that made it all real.

_Uh oh_, Fez thought. _Hyde and Donna went through with it. Alright, Fez, be suave and aloof. Eric must never know that you knew. _"Oh no! That cannot be! Why, you two go together like Sonny and Cher."

Eric gave Fez a hard look. "You don't keep up with the latest celebrity gossip, do you, Fez?"

"So how did it happen?"

"Well, I was practicing hoops in my driveway when Hyde and Jackie came along and…"

"Oh my God, that is terrible!" Fez burst in prematurely. "I cannot believe Hyde stole Jackie from you. It is so unexpected! Really, I am shocked and amazed," Fez finished nervously as Eric looked at him strangely.

"Hyde didn't steal Jackie from me. Jackie caught me kissing Donna when I was stoned and she dumped me."

"Jackie dumped you? But that wasn't the plan – oops!"

Eric's suspicions were now on red alert. "What plan? What are you looking so guilty about, Fez?"

"Guilty? Me? That is crazy. You are crazy, Eric. Just a crazy American picking on the poor foreign kid." Fez was rapidly melting down as Eric fixed him with an accusing stare. "I am guilty of nothing more than minding my own business while innocently spying on Hyde and Donna. I didn't want to hear them plotting to break you up. They were supposed to be having sex, damn it! None of this would have happened if there was more unbridled teen lust in this world."

"Hyde and Donna wanted to break us up?" Eric was shocked. "Why?"

"Because Hyde wants Jackie and Donna wants you! How can you not see that? 'oh, let's go somewhere private and cram each other'" Fez mocked in a high voice. "Ah, you do not deserve the abundance of come-ons that are thrown your way."

"No, you can't be right. They're… they're our best friends! They wouldn't…"

Fez put a friendly arm around Eric's shoulders as he sat next to him on the couch. "Eric my friend, do not take it so to heart. It was bound to happen sooner or later. I mean, when you make a man as virile as Hyde move in with a sexy little goddess like Jackie, well, do I need to make you sit through the first season of Three's Company to have you connect the dots?"

"Oh my God," Eric cried. "I knew it! I kept telling myself I was being paranoid but still… and he wouldn't let me in her house this morning, acting all protective of her. Yeah, right! He did it to keep her for himself!" Eric's eyes widened as he remembered the other half of the scheming team. "And Donna! No wonder she thought I'd seen Hyde and Jackie making out – because she was banking on it! She wasn't high on the smoke yesterday. It was all cold bloodedly on purpose!"

"Do not be too hard on Donna. She has been without sex for a long time since her break-up. Perhaps if I serviced her it will cool her blood and she will again by the sweet yet sultry redhead we all know and love."

"Know? I don't know her at all," Eric spat in disgust. "That she could sell me out like this, I still can't take it in. And I left her with Jackie to tell my side and Hyde is standing by, ready to catch her on the rebound – that does it, I'm going back over to Jackie's and getting my girlfriend back."

"But what about Hyde?"

"Oh, he can bring it on for all I care! This rage will turn my fists into lethal weapons." Eric did a little shadow boxing to illustrate. "When he sees the deadly look in my eyes, he'll be changing his first name to Runand."

As Eric stormed out of the basement, he left Fez with a perplexed expression. "But why would Hyde want to change his name? Steven is such a nice name."

Eric screeched to a stop before Jackie's front porch and commenced giving that sadly abused door a fresh beating. Unfortunately, no-one answered his summons. He was about to go and look for an open window when he noticed a note sticking out of the empty milk bottle next to his foot. With a sick feeling of foreboding, he unrolled the piece of paper to see Hyde's bold block lettering:-

GOING OUT OF TOWN – NO MILK FOR A WEEK

A postscript was added in Jackie's perky writing.

or until broken heart has mended

Meanwhile, back at the basement…

The puzzled look suddenly left Fez's face as he put it together; "Run and Hyde! Oh Eric," he chuckled appreciatively, "you are so witty."


	21. The Hydeaway

Chapter 21

**A.N.Sorry for the delay but this chapter did not come easy. Like I've said before, sex scenes are not my specialty. However, this is Jackie and Hyde and I felt their hotness deserves more than innuendo so I went a little farther than usual – hope you like it. Also, I don't own or make money out of Jane Austen or The Beach Boys (bet you didn't think you'd ever read those two together in a fanfic disclaimer).**

It had been three days now. Each day Hyde woke up thinking, _Alright, today's the day I come clean with Jackie_ only to find a new reason not to. At first she had been too distraught by the defection of both Eric and Donna; it would have been too much for her to handle another friend who had abused her trust. Then as the crying fits gave way to moody bouts of introspection where she wasn't even aware he was sharing the same planet as her, well, she wouldn't have been able to hear any confession he had to make. Jackie was so detached from her old over-reacting self that when he had told her there were no spare sheets or blankets in the linen closet to make up a bed on the couch, she had shrugged and said there was plenty of room in the king size bed for both of them. Normally Hyde would have been pleased by a hot girl inviting him to share her bed but in this instance it irritated him. It was as though Jackie saw him as some non-sexual giant teddy bear to cuddle and be comforted by until the hurt passed. He knew it wasn't reasonable, but he was starting to get pissed off by those trusting eyes of hers. Sometimes he just wanted to shake her until she could see he wasn't that guy in the shining armour who would gallop along on a white horse and fix all her problems. He was the dirty rebel in the leather jacket, burning into town on a Harley, creating more problems than he solved.

It was the third night when they were playing chess before the open fire that Hyde decided enough was enough. Jackie had been staring at her bishop for a good ten minutes, her mind obviously 100 miles away back in Point Place.

"So, are you making your next move by telekinesis?" She looked at him blankly. "You were staring at that piece so hard I figured you were trying to move it with your mind."

"Like Obi-wan moved his light sabre on the Death Star," Jackie murmured, her eyes starting to well.

"Right, that's it," Hyde said, standing up so abruptly his chair fell over. Jackie looked up, startled. "I've let you mope for three solid days and that's as much as you're getting. Even Christ found three days of Hell was all he could take. We are going into town and you are going to find out there is life after Forman."

"Steven, I don't think – "

"You're not thinking at all, just wallowing. I'll do your thinking for you until you rejoin the living. Now go and slap on some of that war paint of yours and squeeze yourself into something tight and low cut, because we are stepping out tonight." Hyde pushed Jackie towards her bedroom, ignoring her weak protests.

That night they drove into the nearby town of Horsham, one of those artificial communities that existed solely on the trade of its party-loving patrons who came up for the weekend to ski and carouse. As a bar was always Hyde's first port of call when he wanted to feel better, he thought Jackie would benefit from a little escapism as well. So he set her up with a couple of drinks with funny names and little umbrellas and sat back to watch her sadness be chased away by the sizable kick of alcohol which hid behind the sweet fruit juice.

He was starting to suspicion that the drinks were more lethal than they appeared when Jackie started laughing uncontrollably at his lamest jokes. Of course, with her small body it would not take much booze to have an effect. Still, it had to be an improvement on her previous misery or so he thought until she jumped up and literally dragged him onto the dance floor because they were playing KC and the Sunshine Band's 'Get Down Tonight', a song she insisted had magical properties which compelled all who heard it to 'boogie on down'. Hyde figured there was no-one here who would realise how much he was debasing himself dancing to this crap and so he humoured her, even faking a few disco moves. Then, as the song segued into a slow romantic number and he found himself holding her in his arms, dancing did not seem like such a hardship after all.

"Steven," Jackie said slowly, rolling his name over her tongue.

"What?"

"Nothing. I was just saying your name. Steven." Jackie giggled. "When I was in kindergarten there was a boy called Steven who had horn-rimmed glasses and used to eat the crayons. I always thought Steven was such a dorky name because of him."

"Gee, thanks," Hyde said sarcastically.

"I don't think that way anymore," Jackie said, resting her head on Hyde's shoulder and closing her eyes blissfully. "It's funny how you like names depending on the people who wear them. 'Cause now I think your name is one of the nicest, dearest, loveliest names there is."

Although Hyde pulled a face at her choice of adjectives, he could not help but be touched. This once again stirred his guilt, prompting him to say, "Jackie, I think there are some things I need to tell you."

"What things?" Jackie slurred, half asleep in his arms.

"About some of the things that went down back home. I have to tell you that – well, part of the responsibility for that mess belongs to me."

"That's alright, Steven, I forgive you," Jackie said dreamily.

This was a new one. Absolution without confession. "How can you forgive me when you don't even know what I did?"

"I'm sure whatever it was it couldn't be too bad. You would never do anything to hurt the people you care about – not like _those two_. It's just not who you are."

"Oh really," Hyde said. For some reason her words exasperated him and he had the impulse to knock the stardust right out of her head. He pushed her away so she could look him in the eyes. "Well, why don't you tell me who I am then, Jackie."

"Why, you're Steven," Jackie said, focusing with effort. "You're the guy who is always there for me. Even when we didn't like each other I always had this feeling that if ever I was in trouble you would someone I could turn to."

"So what does that mean, Jackie?" Hyde asked her, his blue eyes penetrating her haze. "Why do you think you had that feeling about me?"

"I don't know. It was just there." Jackie gave a puzzled frown. Where was this line of questioning going?

"Don't you think that maybe there's a reason you felt that way? That maybe all those times we would get a bit too close to each other and your breath would get short like it does when you're excited, and that time you saw another girl kissing me and you went ballistic – don't you think there was a reason behind all that?"

"Wh-what reason?"

Hyde did not reply with words; the time for words had passed. With sudden decision he swooped down and closed his lips over her enticing mouth. He poured ten months worth of repressed feelings into that kiss, demanding an honest response from her own body which had denied its attraction to him for too long. Suddenly she was kissing him back with wild abandon, her usual mental roadblocks temporarily disabled by the liquor she had shipped. Jackie had danced around the fire long enough; now the flames were licking their way through her body, racing along her arteries and lighting fires in places Eric had never reached. But it _was _only temporary and soon her old cautions returned to scold her – good girls did not melt into passionate puddles when boys kissed them. An old childhood memory of her mother locked in a torrid embrace with a strange olive skinned man flashed before her eyes, followed by an image of Eric and Donna kissing desperately on the basement couch. Violently she broke contact with Hyde and shoved him away.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she demanded in a shrill voice. Hyde was taken aback; Jackie's righteous indignation was significantly delayed. By a full minute, at least. Before he could say anything, she wheeled around and ran out the saloon doors towards the parking lot.

"Shit," Hyde breathed as he took off after her. She was in no condition to be running in front of cars or mixing with the drunken clientele. As she was running in heels it did not take him long to close in on her. "Jackie, wait," he said as he grabbed her arm.

"Why did you do that?" she yelled at him, shaking off his assistance.

"I… I thought you wanted me to," he replied stupidly.

"No! I don't want that! No good ever comes of that," she said brokenly.

"What do you mean?" He sensed there was more going on here than an indignant reaction to a kiss.

"Just… just take me home." Jackie opened the passenger door and slid in without another look in his direction.

The drive back to the cabin was one of the most tense half hours either of the two teens had ever known. Jackie felt like every nerve fibre in her body was tingling with awareness that Hyde was an arm's length from her. It was as though his kiss had broken the lethargic spell that had allowed her to forget about the volatile chemistry they shared whenever they happened to rub their two bodies together. Now all she could think about was the night ahead of her, sharing a bed with this person who had been magically transformed from reliable friend to potential lover.

Hyde sat beside Jackie and knew that there would be more fireworks to come. Jackie was as transparent as glass and he could sense the emotional volcano bubbling under her surface. His mind strayed to that king sized bed they had woken up in that morning; how was he going to make it through tonight without touching her after he had finally tasted the heady drug of her kiss?

After they arrived at the cabin, they went through the usual rituals of preparing for bed; locking doors, changing into pyjamas, brushing teeth. However when the time came to actually turn back the covers, Jackie blurted out "I think I'm going to read for a bit – I'll just be in the main room, by the fire." Grabbing a warm coat, she hastened from the sight of Hyde lying in that large inviting bed.

Selecting a novel at random from the bookshelf, she curled up in a rocking chair next to the crackling fire and opened up the book to read of the tug of wills between Miss Elizabeth Bennett and Mr Darcy.

_Elizabeth felt herself growing more angry with every moment; yet she tried to the utmost to speak with composure when she said,_

_"You are mistaken, Mr Darcy, if you suppose that the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way, than as it spared me the concern which I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner."_

… "_You have said quite enough, madam. I perfectly comprehend your feelings, and have now only to be ashamed of what my own have been."_

Then, after he had left…

"_The tumult of her mind was now painfully great. She knew not how to support herself, and from actual weakness sat down and cried for half an hour."_

Jackie closed the book with a snap. She could enter into Lizzie's confused feelings perfectly. She wondered if Mr Darcy had sent tingles up Miss Bennett's spine when he stood too close to her. Did they even have tingles back then? Maybe their corsets numbed all feeling.

Reluctantly, Jackie rose out of the chair. Steven was probably asleep by now. Not that it mattered, anyway. She had probably imagined her intense reaction to his kiss, the alcohol exaggerating her perception. After all, she was not that kind of girl. She was not her mother.

Holding her breath, she tiptoed into the darkened room, ears straining to hear the even breathing of sleep. Even a snore would be welcome. Gingerly she lowered herself onto the bed and gave a slight sigh of relief when it prompted no response from her bedmate. She had just closed her eyes when Steven's voice sent them shooting wide open again.

"You know, they told us in history class that in the pioneer days when circumstances threw an unmarried man and woman together in the same bed, they used to sew them up in these sacks so they couldn't touch each other. Bundling, they used to call it."

"Wow… that's unbelievable," Jackie said.

"No, it's true. They used to do that."

"No, I mean that you actually paid attention to something in history class."

"Burn," Hyde acknowledged. "All I'm saying is you don't need to go reaching for the needle and thread. I promise I'm not going to pounce on you, Jacks."

"I know," Jackie groaned, turning onto her stomach and burying her face in her pillow. She released a frustrated growl into its soft depths.

"Jacks? Are you OK?"

"You've got this whole thing backwards," Jackie said, her voice a whisper confiding in the darkness. "What you should be asking is, what's going to stop me pouncing on you?"

At first the boy and girl remained immobile, her words hanging dangerously in the air. Then it was as though some electrical current snapped between them and with one mind they reached for each other, desperate for contact as though every inch of their skin ached to be fused to its counterpart. As Jackie's hands pulled Hyde's T-shirt over his head, her mouth begrudged even that necessary moment of separation from his lips. As for Hyde, he soon lost patience with the buttons on Jackie's pyjama top and efficiently solved the problem by jerking sharply on the two halves so that the buttons popped off. Eagerly his hands smoothed over her silken skin, finding the reality so much better than the dream. In turn, her lips roved from his mouth to make a moist trail down to his chest. Her tongue lapped out at his nipple, showing by example what she needed from him. With good will he returned the favour, flipping her onto her back and covering the creamy mound of her breast with his mouth. Her breathless cries and shaking body voiced her approval of his initiative and she made no protest as his hand stole inside her pyjama bottoms to caress the hidden treasures it concealed.

Jackie's last coherent thought as her body erupted into an intense pleasure she had never known was possible was that this must be what the poets sang of and her romance novels delicately hinted at, this mindless, heady rush of pure feeling which ended marriages and toppled love affairs. She had tried to fight it, to keep her dainty feet dry from the turbulent rapids, but in the end it had consumed her, leaving her cast away in the arms of this unlikely boy/man. He was her opposite yet somehow they fit perfectly together.

………………………………………………

When Hyde woke up the next morning he wasn't sure if he was still dreaming. To wake up curled around Jackie's naked form while his own sated body sighed a grateful thank-you to the universe, this was too much like his recurring dream to be real. In wonder he stroked her breast, gently so she would remain asleep but enough so that he could verify that last night had really happened. As her nipple tightened at the touch of his hand, a rush of possession filled him such as he never knew with Donna. When he had been with Donna there had always been an unease between them. It was as though on the surface she acted like his girlfriend, following the rituals of love-making without demur, but behind her green eyes he knew her heart was not for him. With Jackie it was the opposite. On the exterior their relationship was friendship, but underneath it was something entirely different, something elemental and instinctive which was far out of his range of experience. All he knew was that this diminutive, beautiful, loud, generous, exasperating, amazing girl belonged to him.

Jackie turned in his arms with a little moan as her eyes reluctantly opened to the new day. What they revealed was Steven leaning over her; actually it was more like he was spinning around her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, concerned by the way she winced when she closed her eyes again.

"Dizzy," she answered. "And nauseous. Oh God, What was I drinking last night?"

Hyde's heart fell as he heard these words which were all too familiar to him from his wild partying days. He wondered if it was karma catching up with him that the one girl he wanted to be in full possession of her senses when she chose to couple with him would be no more aware than so many of the inebriated skanks he had made out with. Of course, he had never gone as far with any of those other girls as he had with Jackie. Back then, he would wink at his friends as he led a tipsy girl to some privacy, letting them think the best – or the worst – of him. But while his rakish reputation rose a few notches, he would never cross the line of kissing and heavy petting. He might say differently, but he had a low opinion of the kind of guy who would sleep with a girl when she was too drunk to know better. Now as he watched Jackie rush to the bathroom to say hello to last night's dinner, he had a sick feeling that maybe she had been more affected by those drinks last night than he had realised.

Eventually the unpleasant retching noises from the bathroom, followed by the sounds of tooth brushing and gargling, ceased. Yet Jackie still did not emerge and Hyde's misgivings were growing rapidly.

"Jackie? Are you alright?" he called through the door.

"Um, sort of," she answered hesitantly. "It's just that…"

"What?"

"Well… I'm kind of naked. And I'm wondering how do I go back out there when I'm naked and you're naked and we were friends but now it's all changed and I don't know what the rules are anymore or what you're thinking about me since just last week I had a boyfriend but now I'm sharing a bed with you and you probably think that I'm a slut after the way I acted last night and –"

Her babbling monologue was interrupted as Hyde pulled the door open and confronted the confused girl. Her eyes widened to their limits as she gazed on him in all his unclothed glory.

"You want to know what I'm thinking, Jackie? I'm freaking out of my mind that maybe you were too wasted last night to know what you were doing. If that's what happened tell me now because I've waited too long for this to settle for a drunken one night stand."

"You've waited?" Jackie repeated. "You mean… you've been pining for me?" Her mouth kicked upwards into a little smile.

"Whatever," Hyde returned with a scowl. Damn, where the hell were his glasses when he needed them?

"Oh Steven!" Jackie reached her hands around to the back of his curly head and brought his mouth down to meet hers. As the kiss escalated from sweet to sexy, Hyde picked Jackie up without breaking the kiss and carried her to the bed. Just as Jackie was about to float away on passion's tide, she was brought back down to earth by a ringing slap to her backside, courtesy of the flat of Hyde's hand.

"Hey," she cried, more startled than hurt. "What was that for?"

"Don't you scare me like that again," Hyde warned her, nipping at her lower lip. With a low growl she pounced on her best friend/lover, determined to give as good as she got.

………………………………………………

The rest of that week passed in a blur for the young lovers. There was no talking or confessing or making sense of anything. In fact there was nothing which required complex thought or provisioning for the future. Their world had shrunk to that infamous king-sized bed and thinking had no place in this new reality. All that existed was touch and taste and the sound of breathless gasps and the smell of sex. Hyde deliberately put out of his mind his intention to own up to past misdeeds. Perhaps Jackie would forgive him for the part he had played but just in case she didn't, he would not risk cutting short this brief heaven. Better to put it off until the last possible tomorrow.

So it came about that one morning they woke up together and knew that it was time to return to the real world. Jackie's funds were low and Hyde knew Mr & Mrs Forman would be worried about him plus two teens could only miss so much school before people started asking questions. With reluctance Jackie said the fateful words.

"So… I suppose we should be heading back today."

"Yeah," was all Hyde said.

"Back to Point Place," Jackie mused.

"Back to Eric," Hyde said, watching for Jackie's reaction.

"Steven," Jackie said, turning his name into a reproach.

"Look, all I'm saying is you left things kind of unfinished with him. Maybe after you guys have it out you'll… you know… reconsider."

"I'm not going back to him," Jackie said. "I mean, how could I do that? Eric is with Donna and then there's you and me… "

"Is there a you and me?" Hyde asked, staring up at the ceiling. Jackie studied his face, trying to penetrate the zen mask.

"There's always been a you and me," she acknowledged, slipping her hand into his. "It's just been evolving. I'm not sure where exactly we are right now…" Hyde turned to face her, a touch of anxiety breaking through his zen, "…but I'd like to find out."

Hyde released a sigh as he reached out to settle her sweet body into his hold. He kissed the top of her head as she traced the outline of his calf with her toe.

"Jackie, there's something I have to tell you," he began one more time.

"Mmm, what's that?" she responded, her mouth trailing kisses along his jaw.

"You should know that…" _Oh, to hell with it_, "…I think there could be an eel loose in the bed."

Jackie gave a breathless chuckle. "I'm not scared. It feels… friendly."

_One more for the road_, Hyde thought as he pulled the covers over them.

………………………………………………

_As soon as we get home_, Hyde promised as they drove back to Point Place. How could he take away that contented look on Jackie's face one minute before he had to? It's not like it would make a difference. After all, his sins had really been against Donna and Eric, not her. There was no need for her to know about his little bargain with Donna since he had decided not to go through with it which meant it didn't even count, right? He was sure that after a few swift kicks to his shins and a stern lecture on proper dating etiquette, she would shake her head and ask what she was going to do with him, then he'd make some highly inappropriate suggestions, she would giggle and back away to the bedroom… Oh, yeah.

But then after they arrived home it became as soon as they had unpacked their luggage he would tell her. But that made him hungry and you can't unburden on an empty stomach so it became as soon as they had fixed something to eat, but by that time Little House on the Prairie had come on and then the Sunday night movie. When the movie came to its end and Hyde had finally steeled himself to have the conversation he turned to find Jackie passed out on his shoulder. "Damn it", he cursed softly and carried her to bed.

The next morning he woke reaching out for Jackie to find empty space. He shot up from the bed, panicked. What if she had gone out? What if Donna or Forman got to her? Why the hell hadn't he told her by now? Galloping down the stairs he could hear The Beach Boys playing from the radio in the kitchen; he never thought he'd see the day when he would be glad to hear them. There was Jackie, bent down on all fours dragging pots and pans out of the cupboard, singing along under her breath.

"Wouldn't it be nice if we were older, then we wouldn't have to wait so long…" she sang tunelessly.

"Baby, if you wanted to try some new positions all you had to do was ask," Hyde said, observing her hindquarters with a smirk.

"What, you're not done corrupting me yet?" Jackie replied teasingly, dragging her quarry from the back of the cupboard.

"What are you doing down there?"

"I had this dream last night that I knew how to make an omelette," Jackie explained as she set the omelette pan on the burner. "Now I'm going to find out if it was true. Can you crack these eggs for me?"

"Look Jacks, we have more serious things to deal with than omelettes and your egg phobia. There's something I've been trying to tell you for some time now. Something you should know."

Jackie felt a flutter of apprehension at the serious look on Steven's face. Serious revelations had not been kind to her lately, which went a long way to explaining why she had subconsciously forestalled his other attempts. This is why it was a relief to her when she heard the doorbell ring, followed by a heavy knocking on her door.

"I'll get it," they both cried together. Hyde blocked her from exiting the kitchen. "No, Jackie, you… you should work on that omelette. If you've got some psychic connection that'll improve your cooking, I'm all for exploring it."

As Hyde left Jackie searching for rubber gloves suitable for picking up eggs, he advanced with beating heart to the front door. What was he going to do now? If it was Eric he could probably put him off again, but he had a feeling Donna would be another story. With an excuse on the tip of his tongue, he found himself robbed of speech when he opened the door and faced the last two people he expected.


	22. The Standoff

**A.N. Sorry for the late update. There should be two or three chapters after this one so we are finally nearing the end. Just hang in there with me a little bit longer. As always, mucho gracias for all reviews, both past and future.**

It had been 7 days since Jackie and Hyde had disappeared from Point Place. Eric had searched his memory of every conversation with Jackie for a clue as to where they could have gone but came up empty. He had called up every out of town relative of Hyde's but those few who weren't in prison had not heard from him. As he paced the basement, his mind ran scenarios of Jackie at Hyde's mercy, helpless against his twisted manipulations. _This must be how Luke Skywalker felt as he heard Princess Leia plead for help_, Eric thought. _I have to save Jackie – I'm her only hope._ The key to his rescue would be that as soon as Jackie returned, he had to get her away from Hyde. For this, he would need to appeal to a higher power. Eric turned his eyes upwards where resided the source of his help, his provision and his strength; his mother.

"Mom," Eric said as he strode into the kitchen, "there's something I need to talk to you about."

"Hi, honey," Kitty replied, spooning cake mix into muffin pans. "Now, how did you know there was a mixing bowl needing to be scraped out? I swear you have a sixth sense for these things."

"Mom, there are more important things at stake here than mixing bowls," Eric said urgently. "You see, Hyde and Donna had this plan – Wait! Is that chocolate?"

"Here you go." Kitty handed the bowl with a spatula over to Eric and he sat down at the bench, pouring out his tale of heartbreak and betrayal as he spooned cake mixture scrapings into his mouth.

"Well now, that wasn't very nice of Steven and Donna," Kitty tsked after Eric finished. "And I really think Jackie should have talked to you before running away like that. Although I remember that time I saw your father kissing that horse-faced Lyn Taylor hussy at the movies back when we were dating, I didn't speak to him for a month after that." Kitty's eyes narrowed to a brooding stare.

"But eventually you talked to him and forgave him, right?" Eric prompted.

"Oh…that's right, I did. I forgave the bastard. Ha ha ha," Kitty switched back to reassuring mother. "So I'm sure when Jackie comes back you and her will have a nice long talk and everything will be fine again."

"I'm counting on that, Mom, but I think you'll agree that once Jackie realises the way Hyde has been playing her, she won't want to be around him. Which brings me to the other thing I have to tell you about." Then Eric went back over the dramas of Hyde and Jackie's flaky parents and unorthodox living arrangements.

"Do you mean to tell me a teenage boy and girl have been living alone by themselves without any grown-up supervision at all?" Kitty was scandalised. "Well, what kind of dumbass came up with that crazy idea?"

Eric's eyes suddenly found the kitchen ceiling tiles fascinating as he said "Yes, well, I really don't remember who suggested it first – it was so long ago – the point is that they can't go on that way anymore. Which brings me to what I need to ask you. I know you look on Jackie as the daughter you wish to God you'd had," Eric said with a little shudder as he thought of Laurie, "and you know how special she is to me so how about she comes and lives with us?"

Kitty considered this a moment. "What about Steven?" she said.

"What about him?"

"Well, he can't live alone in a house he has no claim to," Kitty replied. "And he has no family around here. So what will happen to him if Jackie comes and lives with us?"

"I'm sure Hyde will be just fine," Eric said caustically. "He's a survivor. If we ever have a nuclear war, it'll be just him and the cockroaches left."

"Eric, you realise that if we can't find a home for Steven we'll have to call Child Services and have him placed in foster care," Kitty said seriously, holding her son's gaze. Eric tried not to care, but those pesky memories of lifelong friendship kept getting in the way. He knew how much his proud friend would hate being passed around as a charity case.

"C'mon, Mom. You don't have to do that… do you?"

Kitty bit her lip thoughtfully. "I'll have to talk this over with your father," she said finally. "As soon as they come home, you let me know, alright?"

"Fine," her son agreed. "I've been watching Jackie's place. As soon as I see her car in the driveway I'll come to you."

"Good. Don't worry, honey. We'll work something out. I'm sure in no time at all you'll all be just the best of friends again."

"Don't hold your breath," Eric muttered as he walked away.

_The next day…_

"Well? Are you going to stand there gawking all day like a dumbass or are you going to let us in?" Red barked at the stupefied boy. Hyde automatically took a backwards step, allowing Mr & Mrs Forman to stride through the front door.

"Steven, you're looking well," Kitty said with her friendly smile. "I hear you and Jackie have just come back from a vacation?"

"Uh… yeah. Yeah, we did," Hyde stammered.

"Strange. I didn't realise school was on a break," Red said, directing a burning stare at the unfortunate truant. "I guess someone forgot to tell all those kids I see riding the school bus every morning that vacation came early."

"Now, Red, don't browbeat the boy," Kitty admonished. "I'm sure he has a perfectly reasonable explanation for his actions. Why don't we go and find Jackie and you can both tell us just exactly what you two have been up to lately." As Hyde caught Kitty's eye, he realised that maybe he had been too hasty in casting Red as the bad cop; that piercing stare of Kitty's would drag guilty secrets out of an international spy.

"Mr Forman! Mrs Forman! What a… surprise," Jackie said sincerely as the couple walked into the kitchen. A visit from her ex-boyfriend's parents was not in her social appointment book.

"Jackie, sweetie, I don't know what that's supposed to be in that frying pan but whatever it is I think it's ready for the last rights."

"Oh!" Jackie waved the smoke away from the charred mess. "Darn it! I guess learning to cook can be a dream but a dream can't learn you to cook."

"Jackie, I want to see you and Steven in the living room now," Red commanded, stalking to that room, confident his authority would not be questioned. Kitty followed him with Hyde and Jackie bringing up the rear.

"What's going on?" she whispered to Hyde.

"I think we're in trouble," Hyde replied.

"You might be," Jackie scoffed. "I'm too cute to be in trouble!"

As soon as the foursome were gathered in the living room, Jackie launched into her smiling hostess routine. "Well, what an amazing coincidence everybody paying these friendly social calls so early in the morning! Steven here just dropped in for a bite of breakfast and a ride to school, but of course it is always lovely to see you and Mrs Forman as well although I really need to make myself ready for school so perhaps – "

"Jackie," Red interrupted. "Sit down and zip it."

Jackie sat down and zipped it.

"Now, you can just spare us the whole 'Steven just dropped by' crap because Eric told us about your cosy little living arrangement."

"What? How dare he! He promised not to tell anyone. It's not enough he cheats on me, now he has to betray my trust in every way!" Jackie was fuming.

"Jackie, Eric did the right thing," Kitty said. "You should have told us months ago that you were in trouble. You too, Steven."

"Jackie and I didn't need your help, thanks all the same, Mrs Forman," Hyde said firmly. "We worked things out just fine."

"Yeah, I'm sure you think that," Eric said as he entered the living room. "Things worked out just like you planned, right, Hyde?"

"Eric!" Jackie jumped to her feet. "What are you doing here? You have no right to walk into my house, you lying lumberjack frencher!"

"Hey, I'm not the liar here! But if you want to cast your eyes over your best buddy Steven over there, then you'll be getting warm."

"Forman, let's not get into this here," Hyde said. His eyes locked with Eric's, silently pleading for his friend not to strike the death blow. But there was no mercy in Eric's eyes and he kept his gaze on Hyde as he said to Jackie, "Hyde and Donna deliberately broke us up, Jackie. Donna kissed me while I was… enjoying a good film" Eric euphemised for his parents' benefit, "and Hyde held up his end of their diabolical bargain by catching you on the rebound."

Jackie looked between Eric and Hyde, confusion written all over her face. "What are you saying? That's crazy! Steven would never do a thing like that. You're lying, Eric! How can you tell me such insane lies and in front of your parents too." Jackie turned to Hyde, waiting for him to bellow out an outraged defence but he remained silent. "Steven? Aren't you going to say something?"

"Forman doesn't know what he's talking about," Hyde said, his face hardening into his protective zen façade. "I wasn't going to break you up."

"Really? That's not what Fez said." Eric nodded at the surprise that flashed over Hyde's features. "That's right. You'll remember our pervy little friend and his hobby of spying on couples. You can imagine his disappointment when you and Donna didn't have relapse sex but were engaged in something far more disgusting – plotting to drive a wedge between me and my girlfriend!"

"Alright, that's enough, Eric," Kitty intervened. "You kids can work this out later but right now we have to sort out some new living arrangements for our two honorary orphans."

"That's right, I don't have all day here," Red said. "Steven, you will be moving in with us – "

"What?!" Eric and Hyde shouted simultaneously.

"…and Jackie will move in with Donna."

"WHAT?!" Jackie screeched.

There followed a babble of teenage voices lodging strong protests at Red's decision. The words "no way in Hell" and "I'd rather die" were thrown about pretty freely. Red rolled his eyes and then cut through the clamour with his best drill sergeant impersonation.

"QUIET!" Once he had their attention, he continued, "Now I don't want to hear any grumbling or moaning about this. The fact is you kids can't go on living on your own like this and there is no-one else in Point Place who would be willing to take you in but Kitty and me and Bob and Midge."

"But why can't Jackie stay with us?" Eric complained.

"Because your mother and I don't want to wonder whose bed you're sleeping in every night," Red said with a hard stare at Eric. "Besides, the Pinciottis are only offering to take in Jackie. They're not interested in Steven."

"Mr Forman, what you are asking is impossible," Jackie tried to reason earnestly. "I can no more live with the girl who stole my ex-boyfriend than I could live with my ex-boyfriend."

"Jackie, I've spoken to your father, and while I won't offend you with my personal opinion of that stuck-up bastard, he has left your disposal in my hands. But he said that if you didn't like my choice for you, you can go and live with your grandmother in North Dakota."

"North Dakota?" Jackie cried, dismayed. "I can't live there! My grandmother is crazy! Her house is crammed full of stuffed squirrels that are all named after characters in Dickens novels. Last time I visited her I had nightmares of having my nose chewed off by Chuzzlewit and Sweedlepipe. Not to mention that it's freezing up there. Why, it's so cold that… that…"

"…that the politicians have their hands in their own pockets," Fez supplied, walking into the living room munching on some toast. "Ba-boom!"

"Well, if it isn't Johnny Carson," Eric said. "What happened to you? I thought you were backing me up."

"Emotional confrontations make me hungry," Fez explained. "So I made a little kitchen detour first."

"So, Jackie, I guess you'll be our new next door neighbour," Kitty said with her favourite forced laugh.

"But… but… I mean, there must be some mistake. There's no way Donna would let me come live in her house."

"Actually, when Bob asked Donna what she thought about the idea, she was all for it," Red said. "Pretty generous of her, seeing as how she has to share her room with you."

"I have to live in her bedroom? Oh my God!"

"Well, then, that's all settled. Steven and Jackie, we'll be expecting you to be moved in by dinner time. Come on, Kitty. Let's leave these dumbasses to their soap opera."

After Red and Kitty left, the four teenagers remained staring warily at each other. Jackie was afraid to have the silence end. A feeling of dread filled her as Eric stared down Hyde; he was too confident in his accusations for her to dismiss them as jealous lies like she wanted to. Even though the part of her that had rested in his arms every night for the past week could not believe Hyde would ever hurt her, her common sense would remind her that Hyde was a hard person to pin down. There had been too many times when he had coldly withdrawn from her for reasons unknown.

"Wow," Fez said uneasily. "The tension in here is so thick you could cut it with a spork."

"A spork?" Hyde asked.

"Yes, you know – not quite a fork and not quite a spoon." He shifted uneasily under the relentless stares. "I've been eating a lot of Chinese take-out lately," he explained.

"Tell her, Fez," Eric prompted. "Tell Jackie about what you heard Hyde and Donna talk about in secret."

As Fez told the story, Jackie watched Hyde's face, waiting for the innocent outrage. But his face remained expressionless.

"Steven," Jackie spoke tentatively, "Is Fez telling the truth? Did you say those things?"

Hyde turned to Jackie. He could see the doubt growing in her eyes. He had a sick feeling that no matter what he said, how well he explained, it would be as pointless as trying to salvage a sinking ship.

"Yeah, I said that stuff," Hyde answered, eyes hidden behind his shades. "But I didn't mean it. I wasn't going to go through with it."

Eric gave a sardonic laugh. "Wasn't going to – man, you stole my girlfriend away from me for a whole week before I had a chance to tell her what really happened. You _did _go through with it." Eric swivelled back to Jackie. "Which of his moves did he use on you, Jackie? Let me guess – he found some reason why you had to share the same bed, right? Let you cry on his shoulder while he said you were better off without me? And of course, let's not forget the classic Hyde strategy – get the girl so drunk she doesn't realise what an opportunistic bastard she's with."

"That's enough," Hyde shouted, but he could tell from the stunned expression on Jackie's face that Eric's words had hit their mark. "Jackie, don't you believe him," Hyde said vehemently. "You know me, Jacks. You _know _me!"

"Why… why did you let Donna think you would help her break Eric and I up?" Jackie asked in a small voice. "What was the point?"

There was nothing left but the truth now. "Because I owed her," Hyde said, turning towards Eric. "Because I tricked her into dating me when all she wanted was to be with Eric."

"What?" Eric cried incredulously.

"Donna only went out with me to get your attention, Forman. She thought – well, I told her that if she made you think someone else was about to move in on her, you would step up and do something about it."

"Oh my God," Eric whispered. "Both of them? You stole both my girlfriends, Hyde? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"No, you're looking at this all wrong," Hyde defended. "I mean, sure, on the surface it looks like I stole Donna. But, Forman, her heart was never in it. She was always hung up on you. In a way, you stole my girlfriend from me."

Eric started pacing as he tried to absorb this new shock. "I can't believe this. It all makes sense now. That's why you did this, isn't it? This was all revenge on me because you couldn't hold onto Donna. You were just using Jackie to turn the knife on me."

"No!" Jackie cried in anguish.

"I have to say, that does make sense," Fez said impartially. "It's not like Jackie is Hyde's type of girl."

"Look, I did not steal Jackie, alright? She came to me of her own free will. So stop trying to shift all the blame onto me when it was you sucking Donna's face off that was the only reason you two broke up."

"I was high," Eric snarled. "I told you that the next day and you were supposed to tell Jackie. Did he tell you?" Eric swung back to his ex.

Jackie shook her head, staring white-faced at Hyde. "No, I... I didn't know that."

"But you said – " Hyde began.

"Eric, that morning I saw you from my bedroom window," Jackie broke in. "You were running to Donna. And I overheard you say that you were in love with her."

Eric shook his head. "I said I thought I was in love with her," Eric corrected. "But she's not the person I thought she was. If you saw me run to her, it must have been when I was trying to stop her from seeing you and making matters worse. Jackie, I swear you are the only girl I want to be with. I haven't spoken to Donna all week and I don't see that changing anytime soon."

"That's pretty cold, Forman," Hyde commented disapprovingly. "She's been one of your best friends for like ever."

"Yeah, well you'll see how unforgiving I can be to best friends who double-cross me," Eric said pointedly. "Don't think because we're sharing living space that you've got a new brother. The only brothers we'd be like are Kane and Abel."

"Or the Ringling Brothers," Fez added. "Sure, it was all circus glamour and sequins on the outside, but behind closed doors, they had issues."

"That does it, I've had enough of this crap," Hyde said, grabbing his denim jacket off the coat stand. He could not stand around and watch Jackie openly choose Eric over him. He had known from the beginning that in the end Eric would get the girl. It was just the way the world worked, just like it was Hyde's fate to keep his standards low and his hopes lower. Anything else was a recipe for disappointment.

"Steven," Jackie cried as she watched him slam the front door closed. She could not believe he had left her like that. A half-hearted defence and a concession of some pretty ugly facts was all he had fought for her with. Perhaps she had deluded herself into thinking he really cared for her.

"Let him go, Jackie," Eric instructed. "He's screwed up our lives enough."

"I guess I should leave you two to talk," Fez said. "Ai! It is so sad that you and Hyde are no longer bosom friends. I must go in search of candy and porno and have their sweet magic erase the bitterness of this moment."

"But Fez – "

"I said candy and porno," Fez rebuked with upraised hand.

After Fez had left, it was just Jackie, Eric and an awkward silence.

"So… where have you been all week?"

"My parents' ski cabin."

"Damn it! I forgot about the ski cabin," Eric muttered.

"Eric – about Steven…"

"Jackie, I don't want to hear the details," Eric stopped her. "I understand that sometimes people do crazy things and hook up with the wrong people when their heart's been broken." The thought raced across Jackie's mind _Hang on, he hooked up with me after Donna broke his heart!_ "I think the important thing here is that you and I have a really solid relationship. It would be a shame to throw that away just because Hyde's a sleaze and Donna is a manipulative bitch."

"Wow," Jackie said, taken aback by the anger in Eric's tone. "It sounds weird to hear you talk about Donna that way." It appeared Eric's 'dream girl' had toppled a long way off that pedestal Eric had placed her on.

"Yeah, well my eyes have been opened to her true character. I used to think she was so incredible, so far above me but instead she's a… she's so…"

"Fallible?" Jackie suggested gently.

The angry emotion on Eric's face closed down. "What I'm saying is you don't have to worry about Donna – I won't let her interfere with our happiness again." Eric closed the distance between himself and Jackie and took her hands. "So, what do you say, Jackie – will you take me back?"

………………………………………………

That night a young man sat slouched at the top of the Point Place water tower, a soon to be empty six pack at his side. Even though the sun had long since set, his sun glasses still covered his eyes, concealing the dejection. He was pulled from his lonely reverie as he heard the sounds of somebody ascending the water tower ladder. A wild hope rose in his chest that maybe a raven head would peek over the top of that last rung, a hope that crashed when he saw the flash of red.

"What are you doing here?" His question startled Donna, indicating she had not climbed the ladder looking for company.

"Hyde! You're here," she cried.

"Way to state the obvious, Donna." Hyde took the last swig from his beer can, crunched it and reached for the next.

"So… I heard about that visit the Formans paid on you and Jackie this morning."

"Yep. It was quite the family gathering."

Silence followed. Then… "So, did Eric and Jackie…?"

"Make up? Make out? Of course they have – what else would you expect with those two starry-eyed romantics. But why are you asking me? Isn't she your new roommate?"

"She moved in this afternoon," Donna admitted with a sigh. "I was hoping that talking my parents into letting her live with us would show her how sorry I am and I could tell her that I never meant to hurt her or Eric. But it was no use. She won't say a word to me, just gives me a shoulder so cold you could ice your drink on it."

"I'll bet you never thought you'd see the day that you longed for the sound of Jackie's voice," Hyde observed.

"Ain't that the truth," Donna replied with a sad laugh. "Now I'd give anything to hear her drone on about the correct way to set hot rollers."

"And Eric?" Hyde asked. "I hear he's been giving you the silent treatment as well."

Donna said nothing; her only reply was a sniffle as her finger caught something falling from her eye. With a sigh Hyde extended his arm towards Donna. "Here." She looked over to find Hyde holding out to her his last beer. She accepted the peace offering, popped the top and leaned against her old friend to share silence, beer and regret under the Wisconsin night sky.


	23. More Than Words

Chapter 23

**Here is this week's instalment – it would make my day if you could give me your opinion on it.**

Hyde had been living in the Forman house for three days and Eric had still not spoken a full sentence to him. Most of their exchanges went along the lines:-

"Hey, Forman."

"Die screaming."

Hyde pretended not to care, making wisecracks about how the tension made him feel like he was back in his childhood home, but in his honest moments he felt the chill down to his bones. Yet it was nothing compared to the emptiness of the space that Jackie used to occupy. He had not realised how firmly she had planted herself into his life until she was no longer there. The urge to seek her out and plead his cause was a constant itch but he suppressed it. She had chosen Eric.

Then one day as Hyde was sitting at the kitchen counter moodily picking at the scrambled eggs Mrs Forman had set down for him, Eric walked into the kitchen clutching a colourful bunch of flowers as though it were a weapon. His mother smiled at the sight.

"Oh Eric, how sweet!" she cooed. "You didn't have to get me flowers! They're lovely!"

"Uh, yeah, Mom, they're kind of for Jackie," Eric explained.

"Jackie? Of course, yes. She deserves to get flowers from you," Kitty said with laboured good humour. "Even though it's not like she's fed and cleaned and bathed you for the past 17 years."

"Bathed?" Hyde smirked with raised eyebrow.

"Don't go there, Hyde," Eric warned. "Or I'll remind you of how we met."

"Backing off," Hyde replied with raised hands. But the string of obscenity-free words from his former friend made him hopeful that maybe the icecaps were melting. This hope was shot to hell when Eric shouldered past him, causing him to splatter egg on his t-shirt.

"Damn," Hyde growled as Eric slammed the sliding door behind him. "He holds a grudge like a passed over primadonna."

"Now, Steven, you have to be patient with Eric," Kitty counselled. "Jackie's decision has been very hard on him."

Hyde stiffened at Kitty's words. "What decision?"

"You know, how she wanted some time on her own to figure things out… oh, you didn't know that." Silence. "Well, this is awkward."

"Mrs Forman, I've just remembered there's some place I'm s'posed to be," Hyde said, as he pushed away his half finished breakfast.

"Steven, think carefully before you do anything," Kitty warned uneasily. "Don't go making a bad situation worse."

"Funny, that's the kind of thing people say to Eric. Oh my God, don't tell me I'm turning into Forman!" When Kitty failed to crack a smile, he placated her. "I'm not going to do anything, Mrs Forman. I just need to talk to Jackie." And before his surrogate mother could say another word, Hyde had left.

"Oh dear," Kitty sighed.

………………………………………………

Hyde's hopes did not stay at their elevated height for long. As he made his way over to the house next door, he was in time to see Jackie blushingly accept the flowers from Eric with a pleased smile. Eric then took her hand and spoke some earnest question to her. After a moment's hesitation, Jackie gave Eric an answer, an answer which made him break into a triumphant grin. He surprised Jackie with a quick hug before he leaped off the Pinciotti front porch, returning home with a jaunty spring in his step.

Jackie watched Eric leave with mixed feelings. It was good to make him smile again. It took her back to those not so long ago days when making him happy was her favourite hobby. Yet she wondered if she was making the right decision accepting his invitation to the prom. On the one hand she could be raising false hopes in Eric when she was still uncertain if they could ever get back to the way they were. But on the other hand, it was the prom! Only losers would be sitting home alone this Friday night. It's not like Steven would ever ask her. Aside from the fact that school dances were at the top of his least favourite things list, he had not been near her since he had walked out of her house three days ago. Good riddance, she would tell herself as she thought over his many treacheries. But there was some wistful, irrational part of her that ached to see him again.

Just as she was turning around to re-enter the house, she was granted her wish. The feel of a roughened palm on the smooth skin of her forearm sent shivers through her body and she knew before she spun around to face him that it must be Steven.

"I just heard you and Forman didn't get back together," Hyde said. "Lucky me – guess I was in time to witness the big reunion."

Jackie caught her breath when she saw the intense look in Steven's eyes, at odds with his cynical words. She meant to throw her chin in the air haughtily and declare it was no business of his what she did, but instead she found herself making excuses.

"We haven't got back together. He just asked me to the prom."

"And you said yes."

"Why shouldn't I?" Jackie retorted, recovering her sense of ill-usage. "I mean, am I supposed to throw away a relationship I spent a whole year building for a guy who never saw me as anything more than a… than a…"

"What? Say it, Jackie. A means of revenge? An easy lay?"

"Is that what you think of me?" Jackie cried.

"Of course not. Is that what you think of me? The kind of scum who would use you that way?"

"I don't know what to think of you," Jackie cried, shaking off his hold on her. "Just when I think I've got you mapped out you do something that shakes everything up so I have to start all over again. You're like a human Etch-A-Sketch." She walked away from him around the verandah corner.

"That is such bullshit," Hyde spat, following her. "If there's anyone who can't be trusted, it's you."

"Me?" Jackie's indignation was palpable.

"Yeah, you, Miss-I-won't-go-back-to-Eric. You even had me believing it for a while. Then after about fifteen minutes of listening to his spiel you're looking at him all misty-eyed and it was like last week never happened."

"How do you know what went down with us? Last I saw of you, you were running for the hills. You really like to live up to your name, don't you, _Hyde_."

"Well, it didn't take a psychic to see how it was going to play out," Hyde retorted. "But I'm just curious about one point. How can you take back someone when you know they're in love with someone else, that they've always been in love with someone else from the day you met them? I would have thought a chick as full of herself as you would have too much pride to play the substitute."

"Eric says there's nothing between him and Donna," Jackie shot back. "and unlike some people I know, he's not a liar."

"Of course he's not. He's not the kind of guy to lie to you about how he feels about the girl next door. Or forget your birthday. Or mac on Donna like – how did you put it – he was trying to eat her. Don't you think there might be a reason why he kissed her like he'd never kissed you?"

"He was high," Jackie defended. "People make bad decisions when they're high – or drunk." The implication was clear.

"Sometimes," Hyde said, eyes narrowed. "But then sometimes that's when they show their true colours. In vino veritas, and so on."

"So what are you saying? That I turn into a slut when I've had too much to drink?" Jackie's eyes sparkled with angry tears. "That I'm no better than my mother?"

The sight of Jackie's tears slayed Hyde; it always would. "Where did that come from? Jacks, you can't think that there's any comparison…"

"I won't be like her," Jackie said adamantly. "I won't walk out on a solid relationship for some sordid lust. Eric deserves better than that."

"And what do we deserve?" Hyde pulled Jackie into his arms. He wanted to give her the words which would change her mind, make her realise that there was much more than lust between them, but as usual his ability to speak deserted him when he needed it most. Instead, he pressed his forehead against hers, steel blue eyes locked into green and blue. He heard Jackie's breath hitch as her body remembered his, remembered how it felt to dedicate long lazy days to exploring and claiming every inch of his person, just as he did to her. The heat rose between them, slowly and steadily, until it was inevitable that his mouth would find hers, that her arms would slide around his neck, that his hands would mould her body closer to his, leaving not an atom of space between them. The kiss was frenzied and desperate, nothing like the kisses she had shared with Eric. Eric. Her boyfriend. Suddenly Jackie found the strength to break away from Hyde.

"Oh my God," she panted. "I can't do this. I can't be that person. I won't let you turn me into her."

"Jackie – " but Hyde was pleading with air. She had gone.

………………………………………………

"Man, this sucks," Kelso said moodily.

"You are spot on, amigo," Fez agreed. "It sucks mightily."

The two friends looked around the now empty basement. They had been watching Charlie's Angels with Hyde, enjoying the bouncing breasts as the Angels chased the bad guys, when Eric had walked in. Immediately the air in the overheated basement had chilled to arctic as the once best buds stared each other down. It had ended with Eric breezing past Hyde to go upstairs and Hyde retiring to his new bedroom under the stairs for some quality brooding time.

"I miss the girls," Kelso whined. "Even though they wouldn't do it with me, they were kind of like the Angels – except instead of just looking at them you could smell them and talk to them. It just makes the fantasies that much stronger, you know?"

"Ah yes," Fez agreed. "I am right with you there. But even worse is the way Eric and Hyde have lost their unique camaraderie. It is so sad when something comes between the special love two men share for each other."

"Oh well. Maybe now that Jackie is going to prom with Eric, those two will get back together and then everyone else will go back to normal."

Fez snorted. "Jackie and Eric! They're too sweet together. I long ago got bored with hiding in her closet for their trysts. It was always over so fast it was hardly worth it. Now, Jackie and Hyde – I can imagine the sex those two would have," Fez said with a faraway look in his eyes, "and it is glorious!"

"You're dreaming, man," Kelso scoffed. "No way could Hyde beat out Eric, not when Eric's had the inside track for the past year."

"Inside track? These are our friends' lives, not a horse race." Five seconds passed before the two boys turned to each other with wide eyes. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"That we should start a pool as to who will end up with who?"

"Wow," Fez breathed. "If you had included the eating of gummy bears in that plan, I would have called you a mind reader."

"Oh man," Kelso yelled spastically. "This is gonna be the most badass pool ever!"

"I know," Fez cried, jumping with glee. "Ooh, I have the perfect cologne for Hyde to wear. It is guaranteed to make him irresistible to all women. Jackie will melt like a candle under its power."

"If you're talking about that toxic waste you were wearing yesterday, it's more likely she'll fall into a dead faint," Kelso said. "Anyhow, she won't be going near Hyde once I've clued Eric in on how to spice up their sex life. He just has to tell Jackie to close her eyes and imagine my face when she's doing it with Eric, and she'll have the best sex of her life!"

"Mmm, yes," Fez agreed with a dreamy smile. When he saw the strange look Kelso was giving him, he shook himself and said, "I mean, no, Kelso, that kind of interference is changing the odds. If we do this, we should do this fairly and let our horses run on their own strengths."

"You mean sit back and let them crash and burn?"

"Exactly."

"Okay, fair enough. Still, I think we oughtta level the playing field before we set them off. I mean, they're all so tied up by the friendships that they're double-crossing that none of them can do just what they want. If we're going to do this right, we have to mend the friendships first. Then they'll be able to choose who they want to be with."

"Good Lord, Kelso. That was actually insightful. How did you do that?"

"Must have been that stash I smoked earlier," Kelso explained "It was from Boston"

………………………………………………

"Kelso, be careful with that paint," Hyde said as he climbed up the water tower ladder. "If we're gonna turn the finger into a pot leaf we'll need every drop of it." Hyde noticed the ladder seemed much more unstable than usual. "Hey, does this ladder seem shaky to you? I think some moron has unscrewed it."

"That's OK, Hyde," Kelso called from the bottom. "I'll hold it steady from down here until you get to the top."

There was something about this situation that was ringing warning bells for Hyde, but it was not until he climbed onto the platform and saw Eric glaring at him that he realised he had been set up. Before he could make his escape, the ladder fell away from the tower.

"Kelso," Hyde yelled threateningly. "When I get down from here I'm kicking your ass!"

"Yeah, well first you'll have to get down and that's not happening until you two make nice," Kelso called back. "So you'd better get on it before the sun goes down – it gets real chilly up there after dark."

"I can't believe this. Can't a guy vandalise a water tower these days without getting blindsided by a friend," Eric complained.

"Oh, stop your whining you big baby," Hyde ordered. "All you do these days is cry about how your friends have it in for you."

Of course Eric had something to say about that. As Kelso heard the hiss of angry voices above, he gave a nod of approval and clicked on his walkie-talkie.

"Baby Ruth, this is Rocket of Love coming in, do you copy? Over."

"Baby Ruth here," Fez's voice crackled back. "Have the fish taken the bait? Over."

"Affirmative, the fish are on the line, repeat, on the line. Are you in the henhouse? Over."

"Um, well I don't see any barnyard creatures here. I thought I was supposed to go to Donna's house."

Kelso rolled his eyes. "Affirmative. Commence phase 2. Over."

"Roger," Fez agreed. "Over and out."

The trapping of Jackie and Donna had been a matter of much cogitation for the two morons. Fez had insisted the best plan would be to leave a trail of M&Ms to Donna's bedroom and then when both girls were inside, lock the door from the outside. All of Kelso's plans were useless as they all involved a threesome between him and the two girls. In the end Fez decided to play on Jackie's fashion sense. He waited until Donna was in her bedroom and then ran to find Jackie.

"Jackie, come quickly," he cried. "You must go to your bedroom right now!"

"No way," Jackie replied, not looking up from her Cosmo. "Donna's in there. I can't be in the same room as her because it destroys the whole she's-dead-to-me illusion I've got going."

"But Jackie, I saw Donna fingering your favourite cashmere sweater like she was about to try it on."

"What?" Jackie screeched, jumping to her feet. "No way is she stretching out my precious sweater with her giant lumberjack head. Hold on baby, momma's coming!"

"Excellent," Fez purred as he followed Jackie's swift progress. It was the work of a moment to close the bedroom door behind her and pull a chair underneath the handle.

"I told you, I haven't touched your stupid sweater," he heard Donna say. "Hey, what's that noise out there?" As the two girls fruitlessly tried to open the door, Fez announced to his walkie-talkie "The chicks have started the pecking party. Roger." Then, a few seconds later, "Okay, I get the henhouse thing now."


	24. Let's Talk

**Yes, I know it's been a while since the last update but I could either give you a list of excuses or let you get on with reading this chapter. So what will it be? Good choice!**

Chapter 24

"Fez," Donna yelled, the bedroom door trembling under her fist. "Let me out of here right now or I'll be redecorating the wall behind you in an interesting new colour known as "'Foreign Kid's internal organs'."

"I laugh in the face of your death threats," Fez replied while wondering nervously how strong that chair wedged under the door handle was. "You have no choice but to kiss and make up with each other."

"There will be no making up in here, Fez," Jackie shouted angrily.

"But there will be kissing, yes?" The response to Fez's hopeful question had him shaking his head in dismay at the kind of language modern girls picked up these days.

Surrendering to the inevitable, Donna turned to Jackie. "I guess we'll just have to wait that sneaky pervert out. Maybe we could take this time to talk things over."

Jackie glared at her new cell mate. "The only problem with that, Donna, is that I'm not speaking to you. Damn! I mean, I'm not speaking to you starting now!"

"But Jackie – "

"Shut up – Damn! Alright, starting… now!" Jackie flopped down onto her bed, opening up a random issue of Cosmo to shield her from Donna's rolling eyes.

"Fine, Jackie," Donna said in exasperation, "You don't have to talk to me, but that's not going to stop me talking to you." Jackie's response was to violently turn her magazine page, tearing it in the process. "I need to tell you why I did the things I did. I'm not trying to make excuses, just give an explanation." Jackie cautiously lowered her magazine, encouraging Donna to continue. "You see, I've known Eric just about as long as I can remember and for all that time he and I have always been each other's person."

"Person?" Jackie queried, forgetting her vow of silence.

"You know, that person in your life who's the first one you tell about the "A" you got in your creative writing class, or how you totally nailed Tony Miller's ass in JV wrestling, or gripe to about how your parents don't understand you."

"…or how you won the most butch lumberjack contest," Jackie added.

"Whatever," Donna said, taking Jackie's return to the land of insults as a good sign. "My point is Eric and I have always been really close to each other, so close I started thinking of him as my own personal property. So when you came into the picture, I didn't really see you as a person. You were more like the enemy, come to steal what was mine."

"But – you were with Steven," Jackie answered with a puzzled frown. "Why would you want Eric when you could have Steven?" As Donna raised a knowing eyebrow at Jackie's slip, the brunette blushed and stammered "I mean... I didn't mean…"

"There – you see that? It's Freudian slips like that which made me think that if you and Eric broke up, you wouldn't stay lonely for long, not with _Steven_ around."

"How dare you," Jackie cried, jumping to her feet. "Eric and I had a perfectly… stable relationship until you and Hyde stuck your noses in. I'm glad you're not offering me excuses because there is no excuse for what you two did!"

"I know," Donna said quietly, tears collecting in her eyes. "Jackie, I am so sorry. It's just when I found out that I could have been with Eric if not for Hyde's trickery, I just lost it. I was so mad at him and at – well, everything. But I think it's only fair to tell you that even though Hyde agreed to help me break you two up, he didn't do it. He told me later that he couldn't hurt you like that."

"Huh," Jackie scoffed. "Like Steven would ever put someone else's welfare before his own. I thought he was different, but he is as selfish as my parents."

"That's not fair, Jackie. You know, one of the reasons I was so bugged by you is because I saw the way Hyde treated you once you became friends. The way he would look at you and watch out for you – he never gave me that kind of attention. I mean, you only have to look at what he did for you on your birthday – "

"Wait a second," Jackie interrupted, "Steven forgot my birthday! Eric was the only one who remembered."

Donna stared at Jackie with wide eyes. "You mean he never told you? All that week you two spent together doing God knows what and he never mentioned it? Man, he really does lose his killer instinct where you're involved."

"What are you talking about, Donna? What does my birthday have to do with anything?"

Donna opened her mouth to speak but then shut it. "I shouldn't tell you. I'd be betraying Eric to tell you what I know and I can't do that again."

"Oh, you will tell me what you know right now, giant, or I'll let my pinching fingers loose on you!"

"Ow! Alright, fine, but if anyone asks, you beat it out of me!"

"Deal. Now, spill."

………………………………………………

"Man, it's freezing up here," Hyde said as the last flicker of the sun set below the horizon. Eric broke his one hour silent sulk to say

"You'll be fine, Hyde. After all, I'm wearing a jacket so it's only a matter of time before you steal it off me."

"Hey, Forman, just clear one thing up for me – who are you mad at me about, Donna or Jackie?"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"I think it has a lot to do with why you ended up playing hide the tongue with Donna on the basement couch."

"That… that didn't even count," Eric spluttered. "I was – "

"High, yeah, I heard. But being high doesn't make you do things you don't want to do. It just makes you forget the reason why you shouldn't be doing them."

"Damn it, Hyde, I was happy with Jackie until you and Donna ruined it. We liked the same things and laughed at the same jokes. We were just so comfortable with each other."

"Comfortable? What are you, forty? You know, I think what you really liked about Jackie is she wasn't such a high risk. If things with her didn't work out, it wouldn't devastate you. Not like it did when you lost your chance with Donna."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Eric grumbled.

"Yeah? Then how come it was so easy to forget about her?" Hyde pinned Eric down with a hard look. "I saw the way your eyes would drift to Donna whenever she was in the room. I saw how eagerly you leapt to her side when she broke up with me. But if you want to know the real telltale sign that says when you're not as into someone as you think, it's when you forget your own girlfriend's birthday just so you can do homework with another girl. _Homework_, Forman!"

"Damn it, stop trying to turn this into my fault! You're the one who backstabbed me, Hyde. You can't deny that you deliberately seduced the girl I love."

"Again – which one are we talking about?"

"Don – Jackie – it doesn't matter."

"Alright, I'm going to say this once and once only so listen up, Forman." Hyde took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I got in the way of you and Donna. More sorry than you'll ever know. I figured because you'd never stepped up to the plate with her that I had some right to do it, but I know now I was just fooling myself."

Eric was stunned. This was the first time in their long acquaintance when Hyde had ever offered a sincere apology. Yet it seemed unfinished to Eric.

"And what about Jackie?" he asked warily.

"Oh, I'll sleep soundly at night when it comes to my intentions towards Jackie," Hyde answered. "You have no idea how many times I passed up opportunities to get with her out of loyalty to you."

"What, you're saying you never tried to take her away from me?"

"Well, I didn't say that. I did get fed up with the way you kept panting after Donna even though you had a girlfriend; I felt like Jackie deserved better than that. So you want to know what I did? I went out and got a job."

"A job? You?" Eric repeated in amazement.

"Yep. Hauled beer kegs for some whip-cracking SOB down at the warehouses. I wanted to earn some money to give Jackie a really great birthday. I figured she'd need cheering up when she realised her one true love had forgotten all about her special day."

Eric had the grace to look guilty. "I didn't really forget," he mumbled. "I just got mixed-up."

"Do you know why I didn't go through with it, Forman?"

Eric's face softened as he remembered the sacrifice Hyde had made. "For me?" he said, hand over heart.

"No," Hyde answered, giving Eric a you-are-such-a-chick look. "For Jackie."

"Jackie?"

"OK, it was a little for you as well. But the point is I could see that you were the one she really wanted to be with. I was sunk too deep in the friend zone for her to think of me that way. So I stepped aside – for her sake."

As Hyde stared moodily out into the darkening sky, Eric regarded him with bugged out eyes as a stunning revelation hit the scrawny youth. "Oh my God, you weren't just fooling around with Jackie," he cried. "You really care about her." Hyde's lack of hot denial voiced his acknowledgment of Eric's statement. Eric took a moment to grasp this stunning development. "Steven Hyde in love. Well, now I've seen everything! Even if the government issues us with rocket-packs tomorrow, it would be an anti-climax after that."

"Get bent," Hyde growled.

"You know, this still doesn't excuse you whisking my girlfriend away from me for a whole week. You have to admit, you dogged me there."

"Uh uh," Hyde negated. "Rules of getting with a friend's girl clearly state that if the friend cheats on the girl, then said friend's girl is fair game."

"Ah, but isn't there a subclause that says if the friend had been in a relationship with said girl of a lengthy nature then the said girl is off limits no matter what?"

Hyde smirked. "Well, if that's true then I guess you broke the rules first when you frenched my ex-girlfriend."

"Hell," Eric groaned. "Well played. I walked right into that one."

Hyde peered down through the railings of the water tower. "Hey Forman, what say we call a truce."

"A truce?"

"Yeah, at least a temporary one. It just needs to be long enough so I can get down off this freeze-your-ass-off water tower and show Kelso the true meaning of payback."

"Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?" Eric asked, interested.

"I was thinking I'd take his van so he'd have to hitchhike home."

"Pfft. Pretty lame."

"Well, I'd strip him down to his underwear first, of course. Just to make things interesting."

"Keep going," Eric prompted.

"The rest of my plan involves substituting his shampoo with Nair."

Eric burst into laughter. "I love it. Although it seems to me we don't have to be on ground level to burn Kelso." Eric held up the paint can and brush. "I'm thinking the women of Point Place should be informed on a few key points about Michael Kelso, just so they know what they're getting themselves into."

"Or how small is the thing he's trying to get into them," Hyde grinned. "Hand me that paintbrush, Forman. It's time to make Kelso famous."

………………………………………………

"I can't believe it," Jackie said in wonderment. "That birthday present was from Steven?"

"The birthday present, the restaurant, the surprise party – Hyde was behind all of it."

"But… why didn't he tell me? Why did he pretend to forget about me?"

"He thought you'd be happier if you thought it all came from Eric. He was looking out for you."

Jackie felt her breath shorten as she remembered what she had said when she had seen her sparkling ceiling. _This is a present from a man who truly loves me. _A kaleidoscope of memories impacted on her all at once. Steven helping her deal with the hurt from her parents' neglect. Steven partnering with her on a burn. Steven kissing her on a crowded dance floor. Their first morning after. _I've waited too long for this…_ The revelation hit her like a thunderbolt.

"Oh my God," she whispered. "It was all real." Donna looked a question. "When I found out what Steven did to you, I thought I was just part of the pattern – another one of Eric's girlfriends to poach. But he really did mean it all."

"Yeah," Donna agreed. She eyed the small brunette quizzically. "So, what does this mean to you? I mean, you love Eric, right, so it doesn't really matter that Hyde's in love with you. Tough break for him, of course, but it doesn't change anything for you. That is, if you really love Eric." There was a pause. "Jackie? That was the part where you're supposed to jump in and say 'of course I love Eric, you lumberjack'" Jackie turned a confused expression towards Donna. "Jackie?"

"I… I need to get away and think about this," Jackie announced, striding towards the door. "Fez, you have to open the door right now!"

"Mission impossible, my little passion flower," was the reply.

"But Fez," Donna joined in, "We don't want to get out – we want you to come in."

"We do?" Jackie frowned.

"You do?" Fez cried hopefully. "Please elaborate!"

"Because," Donna replied, rolling her eyes, "Jackie and I are getting some weird… urges and we'd feel more comfortable if we had a friend in here to guide us through these strange feelings."

"Madre Dios!" Fez quickly pulled the chair away. "My prayers have been answered!" He pulled the door open. "Now, Step One requires that you take off your clothes – Erggh!" He was cut off by Donna's hand wrapped around his windpipe. Jackie threw Donna a grateful smile as she darted out of the bedroom.

"Now, for Step Two," Fez rasped. "We will need some poorly constructed feather pillows and chocolate pudding batter."

………………………………………………

"Hyde, you put that paint brush down right this second," Kelso shouted impotently from 50 metres below. "I'm warning you – if you finish writing that sentence – damn! You'd better not be drawing what I think you're drawing – oh, come on, man, that's not even anatomically possible!"

"Are you gonna let us down now, or should we sign your nickname to this masterpiece – taternuts!" Eric threatened.

Cursing fluently, Kelso grabbed the ladder and set it in place. "That's a fine thank you to the guy who just single-handedly fixed all the broken friendships in the group."

Hyde jumped the last few feet down to land on Kelso. "What are you babbling about now, kettlehead?"

"Okay, Fez helped a little," Kelso admitted. "He's got Jackie and Donna trapped in their bedroom right now."

"Jackie and Donna alone together?" Eric repeated, a cold chill running through him. "Hyde, I've got a really bad feeling about this."

"You're telling me," Hyde said. "Two angry chicks in a confined space – that's gonna leave blood on the walls for sure."

"We'd better get over there and let them out." Hyde nodded agreement, and as soon as they had de-pantsed Kelso they were on their way, leaving their friend waving his fist at them through the van's departing exhaust fumes. However, once they had pulled up in front of Donna's house, Hyde hung back.

"Hey Forman, maybe you should take this one," Hyde said.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, man. You go and rescue your princess. I'm not going to get in the way anymore."

Eric felt the strangest sensation as the last of his anger at Hyde left him. It was almost as though now he wasn't so eager to have Jackie run into his arms. He did not put two and two together, that his main stimulus to reunite with Jackie was to get back at Hyde, to not let him win this time. All he knew was that his feet felt like they were made of lead as he walked up the stairs to Donna's bedroom. Just when he was debating whether he should heroically kick the door down or if that might be too risky a move considering his weak ankles, he noticed that the door was ajar. Before he could announce his presence he heard Fez's voice from inside the bedroom.

"But Donna," he whined. "Kelso and I were just trying to bring you and Jackie together again. We were only aiming at you being friends, but if you wanted to take it further than that – well, I did put a little money on that possibility. The odds were long but I believe in miracles."

"You and Kelso are twisted-brained pervs," Donna replied severely. "But I appreciate the effort. What's all this about betting? What stupid pool have you got going now?"

"We thought once everybody was friends again, then you would get with the people you truly love. I am betting on you and Eric so if you need to practice your man-trapping wiles, I am at your pleasure."

Eric was just shaking his head at Kelso and Fez's hidden agenda when he heard Donna sigh forlornly. "I'm afraid you've really drawn the long shot if you're betting on Eric and me. Eric hates me now."

"Nooo," Fez denied, massaging her shoulder in encouragement. "He is just a little mad at the moment, but he will come around."

"I don't think so, Fez. Why should he? I did something terrible to him and Jackie."

"Maybe if you tried explaining to him why you did it…" Fez suggested.

"Oh, sure, like I'll walk up to him and say 'Eric, I came between you and your girlfriend because I have been desperately in love with you for ages.' Do you know how pathetic that sounds?"

"I don't know," Fez said ruminatively. "If a girl I liked fought that hard for me, I wouldn't think it was pathetic. I'd think it was very hot."

"Fez, you think the Statue of Liberty is hot," Donna retorted.

"Well, you know she's not wearing underwear under that robe," Fez replied. "I defy you to find a panty line."

Eric slowly turned from the door and walked away, his head spinning. For once, he had to agree with Fez's hotness assessment. And he wasn't thinking of an American icon.

………………………………………………

Jackie lay on her pink bedspread in her pink bedroom in her empty house and stared in a trance-like state at the disco ball. Inspecting the expertly installed base of the ball, she wondered how she could have thought a boy who didn't know a Phillips head screwdriver from a hammer could have installed it. As her eyes shifted to the glowing heavenly bodies scattered around it, she suddenly noticed something she never had before. She stood up on her bed to get a closer look and creased her forehead in puzzlement when she realised what it was; Steven had cut the fluorescent paper into the crude shape of a boy and another into what looked like a dog with a bushy tail. No, not a dog – a fox. That was when Jackie remembered a long ago evening when she and Hyde had spent a quiet evening at home. She had been curled up in an armchair, reading one of her favourite books while he was leafing through a Mad magazine, when he had interrupted her to ask what she was reading.

"The Little Prince," she replied.

"I thought you told Donna reading was for prisoners."

"There are exceptions to every rule. This book is one of them."

"Why? What's so great about it?"

"It's just so deep. It reads like a child's tale but there are layers to everything. I like to read bits of it and then think over what they mean."

"Well then, why don't you read me some of the mystical philosophy of Jackie B. Burkhart," Hyde teased. "Enlighten me, master."

"Fine. This is the part where the little prince comes down from his star to visit the earth and makes friends with the fox." Jackie read the words of the fox:-

_"My life is very monotonous," he said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the colour of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat…"_

_The fox gazed at the little prince for a long time._

"_Please – tame me!" he said._

Naturally, Hyde had scoffed at the passage and Jackie had forgotten all about it. Until she read this cryptic message he had written on her ceiling. As soon as Jackie had caught her breath from a realisation so stunning it required a 5 minute bout of kick-up-your-heels-bed-bouncing, she grabbed her phone and dialled a familiar number.

"Donna?" she said. "I need your help with something. But first of all, we have to go shopping. No, not for me, you lumberjack. We have to find you a dress for the prom."

**Stay tuned for the next chapter which will see the stunning conclusion to my teen-saga! Meanwhile, you know what that little blue button glowing invitingly below is for. Do not fight the lure of the review button!**

**A.N. 2 – Disclaimer – above excerpt from The Little Prince by ****Antoine de Saint-Exupéry**


	25. At Last

**A.N. Last chapter – I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all my reviewers, with special mention to the wonderfully detailed and insightful Zenkindoflove and Ultrawoman. I hope this conclusion meets with your approval. **

It is a universal truth that most things you look forward to do not turn out exactly as you plan. For instance, a few days ago Eric Forman had been thrilled at the prospect of escorting Jackie Burkhart to the Junior prom. He had imagined that moment when he would escort her into the wondrous basketball-court-turned-ballroom, how the spotlight would follow the golden couple as they danced gracefully together while Hyde stood in the shadows scowling in envy. Yet as he sat in the basement, fingering the corsage he had purchased for his date, he could not help feeling a little… flat. Perhaps it was because an older prom dream kept interfering with the current one; a dream where his partner in that mythic dance was a tall beauty with fiery hair.

Eric was pulled from his thoughts when Hyde stepped out of his bedroom dressed in a fashion to leave Eric drop-jawed.

"What in the wide world of sports are you got up as, Hyde?" Eric finally spluttered.

"What? Haven't you ever seen a guy wearing a tux before?" Hyde self-consciously straightened his lavender bow tie.

"Man, Fez looked more natural wearing that dress at our last beer binge than you do in a monkey suit."

"Yeah, will that says more about Fez than it does about me."

"So what – are you going to the prom now?" Hyde gave a brief nod. "Who are you going with?"

"Donna," Hyde answered. Eric tried his best to keep his face impassive in spite of the fact that the bottom fell out of his stomach at that news. Hyde must have seen something there, however, because he added "We're just going as friends."

"Oh, well, that's fine. I mean, it's not like I care or anything, because I don't. I mean you could get back together with her or kiss her or dance inappropriately with her and it wouldn't phase me at all. No, sir! No skin off my nose." Eric's babbling finally petered out under Hyde's piercing stare.

"Relax, Forman, it's not like I want to go to this stupid prom," Hyde growled. "Donna came over today and begged me to go with her so she wouldn't have to go alone. She even cried, Forman! What was I supposed to do?"

"Donna cried to get her way?" Eric was amazed. "That sounds more like something Jackie would do than Donna."

"Yeah, maybe she's taking lessons. So, are you heading over to their place now?"

"Yeah. And you?"

"Nah, I'm meeting Donna at the squares' dance in half an hour." Hyde flopped onto the couch and flicked the remote control at the screen. "Until then, it's just me, Janet and Chrissy."

"And what about Jack?" Eric asked as he grabbed his coat.

"Damn it, Forman, will you stop going on about that! What do I have to do to prove to you that I am completely over Jackie!" Hyde exploded.

"Er… I meant Jack like the other cast member of Three's Company."

Hyde's face froze for a beat before he lounged back and said "Oh, I just block out John Ritter and enjoy the jiggle."

Eric gave Hyde a doubtful look before taking his leave. It was only once he had gone Hyde dropped both his act and his curly head into his two hands as he let go of a sigh on which all of his own hazy prom dreams floated away.

………………………………………………

As Jackie walked down the Pnciotti bedroom stairs, Eric could not help staring in wonder.

"Jackie, you look… like, wow! I can't believe it!"

Jackie smiled with pleasure as she twirled around in a cloud of purple chiffon. "Oh Eric, you really think so?"

"All I can say is it's a good thing I've got my inhaler with me because you take my breath away." Jackie laughed and Eric presented the corsage. "For you my lady."

"Oh Eric, it's beautiful."

"I'm sorry it's not purple," Eric said as he tied the blue ribbons around her wrist. "I thought you told me to match to blue. Guess I messed things up like usual."

"Oh Eric," Jackie said softly as she straightened his powder blue tie. "You didn't mess anything up." She looked gravely into his green eyes. "You know you'll always be my hero, don't you?"

"Jackie…" Eric said, a sense of unworthiness sweeping over him. He didn't deserve that, not after the feelings he had hidden from her while they were dating, the feelings that just would not go away.

Jackie put a finger to his lips and gave a small, rather sad, smile. "Don't speak. Just come with me. I have a surprise for you." She pulled him by the hand out the front door where a sleek black limousine was parked in front, a uniformed chauffeur holding the door open. "I thought we could arrive at the prom in style."

"Alright!" Eric cheered, dropping Jackie's hand to race over to investigate the plush interior. "Hey, there's a mini bar in here! And a TV! That's it, I've found my new home!"

"Don't start nesting yet, Eric, I've only hired it for the night," Jackie warned as the chauffeur closed the car door behind her. As Eric explored all of the electric buttons on the console and watched in amazement as the windows whirred down without even turning a handle, Jackie tried to subtly catch his eye. In the end, concluding subtlety was wasted on a man surrounded by gadgetry, she finally yelled, "Eric!"

"Huh? Sorry, Jackie, did you say something?"

"Yes, I did. Rather loudly, in fact. Eric, I think you and I need to talk."

"Well now, those words have an ominous ring," Eric turned his full attention to his girlfriend and finally noticed that the smile she had shown to him tonight had a certain bittersweetness around the edges.

"Eric, are you happy with me?"

"What? Am I happy? What kind of question is that?"

"A yes or no kind of question. Are you?"

"Of course I've been happy! You and I, we've had some really great times this last year."

"No, Eric, I didn't ask if you were happy with me in the past. I meant are you happy now?"

"Well… I mean, on the whole, averaged out over the course of time, I think my answer would lean more to the "yes" than the "no", taking into account – "

"Eric, stop it!" Jackie said, cutting through his prevarication.

"Stop what?"

"Pretending."

"I'm not! How can you say that?"

"Eric, you have been pretending with me from the start," Jackie said, her lambent eyes arresting his guilty gaze. "You had feelings for Donna for years before I came along and you never told me about them."

"I just didn't want to make you jealous," Eric excused.

"Oh Eric, the only reason I would be jealous is if those feelings were not a passing boy's crush. And the only reason you would never mention them was because you still had them."

"Hey, I thought we weren't going to bring up our past mistakes," Eric cried defensively. "If we're going to start comparing skeletons, how about you and Hyde? As soon as we broke up, you ran into his arms so quickly it was like you'd been shot from a cannon. Maybe I'm not the only one with secret feelings!"

"No, you're not," Jackie said. Eric double-taked at her calm admission.

"What?"

"You're right. I've been having feelings for Steven for a long time now. Just like you, I felt guilty about them so I stuffed them down deep and called them friendship, but then as soon as you and I broke up they came busting out."

Eric stared at Jackie in dismay. "But I thought Hyde took advantage of you – that it was just a lapse."

"No, Eric, it went a lot deeper than that. In fact, it is so much a part of me that I can't uproot it and I can't be in a relationship with you when I have another man in my heart. Just like I shouldn't be your girlfriend when you know that Donna is the only girl who will ever fit that mould for you."

Eric opened his mouth to argue but honesty kept back the words. He knew she was right, the relief stealing over him pointed towards the truth of her statement. Yet he could not hold back the regret as he said sincerely, "But Jackie – I really do care for you."

"I know, Eric," Jackie replied, a tear racing down her cheek. "Damn, stop looking at me like that, you're making me ruin my make-up." They laughed a little together. "It's OK to care for me, Eric. I think it is the most natural thing in the world that you and I would like each other enormously. We just go together so nicely and it is so easy to be with you. But the good news is that we can still have all that – as friends. Somehow I get this feeling that friends is how we were supposed to be all along."

"Friends, huh?" Eric pretended to consider this. "I guess that could work. Just so long as you don't start calling me a lumberjack – I draw the line there." Jackie giggled as she sunk into Eric's warm hug.

"No, I promise I'll give you your very own insult. How do you like 'string bean'"

"Not very much."

"Geek boy?"

"Watch it, kid, or I'll start calling you the devil!"

As they drew back from each other, eyes misty and mouths grinning, Eric asked the inevitable question. "So what happens now?" With impeccable timing, the limo slowed to a halt.

"Now, we find our prom dates," Jackie replied, eyes twinkling.

"Oh, alright – wait, our what?"

"It shouldn't be too hard for you to find your Cinderella. You'll know she's the right one because she will match you perfectly," Jackie said, tweaking his tie. "And I'll just go and look for mine."

Eric gaped at Jackie in awe, suddenly remembering that the lavender accents on Hyde's suit were perfectly co-ordinated to Jackie's dress. As her masterly plan unfolded before him, he breathed reverently "You really are the devil!"

Jackie reached up to brush her lips against her first boyfriend's cheek. "And don't you forget it."

………………………………………………

He saw her across the dance floor, a total knockout in her blue satin prom gown. She was not alone; a girl who looks like that does not last 10 seconds alone before some hopeful male is pulled into her orbit. Eric's heart sunk as he recognised the boy who was chatting her up; Jake Bradley. The most popular, athletic and well liked boy at Point Place High. What was he doing, did he think he could just walk up to her and she would ditch _Jake Bradley _(the name reverberated in his mind as though sung by a heavenly choir) for the chance to dance with Eric "Foreskin" Forman, especially after the way he had treated her so coldly? He wheeled away from her path, avoiding the public rejection, but did not walk more than two steps before he stopped. _Damn it, what the hell am I doing? This is how I missed my chance the first time. So what if she's hot and smart and better than me at just about everything? She's not perfect. She can be bossy and controlling and manipulative and even underhanded. She makes mistakes that are just as cataclysmic as anything I can do. She's not too good for me – she _is _my match!_

Donna was just surveying the room one more time while pretending to listen to Jake describe his last game-saving touchdown, when suddenly she saw him, striding straight towards her. His jaw was set firm and his fists clenched, obviously a man on a mission.

"Donna," he said in his deepest voice. "I believe they're playing our song."

Jake looked at the boy and girl locking eyes so intensely. "'Carwash' is your song?"

"It is now," Donna said, her eyes never leaving Eric's as he took her hand. As they swayed slowly together amongst all the discoing teenagers, Donna asked the big question. "So, where's your girlfriend?"

Eric stroked her bare arm, turning her skin to gooseflesh. "I'm currently between girlfriends at the moment."

"Oh," Donna said, her heart doing backflips. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Eric stiffened a little, suddenly unsure if they were on the same page. "You are?"

Donna saw the doubt on his face. "No!" Donna cried. "No, I'm glad you broke up with Jackie. Glad, I tell you!" At least a dozen heads turned her way in shock.

"Well, thank God for that." Eric breathed a sigh of relief. "You really need to work on that whole straighforwardness thing, Donna. I'm not a mind-reader, you know."

"No-one would ever accuse you of that, Eric," Donna said sarcastically. "But I am really sorry about… you know…"

"Yeah, I know. I forgive you, Donna."

"Really? Oh, Eric."

"After all, you can't be held responsible for your actions," Eric went on, twisting his mobile features into his James Bond expression. "These debonair good looks of mine have been the ruin of many a fair maiden."

"Shut up," Donna laughed.

"I just pray you'll be able to control yourself the next time some helpless girl is drawn to my magnetic personality."

"Eric, if there is going to be an us' there is one thing you should keep in mind at all times," Donna said solemnly. "I can still pin you down and make you eat dirt."

"Well, damn! That's just what I've been looking for in a girlfriend!" As he leaned in to kiss the girl of his dreams, Eric could have sworn there was a spotlight shining on them.

………………………………………………

Hyde checked his watch for the tenth time as he released a sharp hiss of irritation. Where the hell was Donna? She had told him to meet her outside by the water fountain, but she was nowhere in sight. It was bad enough he had to put on this penguin suit, but now he had all the dorks at school staring at him, wondering if he had been stood up. He was starting to come to that conclusion himself. Perhaps this was her final revenge for lousing up her life. He had to admit, it would make a fine burn.

As Hyde was peering into the fountain, trying to see if there were any wishing coins to steal, a reflection shimmered in the water. A small, feminine reflection.

"Did you make a wish?" a familiar voice asked. Hyde froze. He deliberately kept his head turned away as he replied.

"I don't make wishes. I just steal other people's."

"Steven." Her hand touched his shoulder and brought him back to life.

"What are you doing here, Jackie," he said shortly, jumping away from her touch. "Shouldn't you be sliding down moonbeams with your boyfriend?"

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"Since when?"

"Oh, since about 12 minutes ago. However, I am currently reviewing applications if you want to apply for the position." Jackie gave him back his own smirk along with his words.

"Oh really? So you want to trade in the fairy tale for – what did you call it – sordid lust? I don't think so, princess."

Jackie regarded the young man she had given her heart away to. She knew she would have to handle him with care. He had retreated back into his burrow, snapping at the hand that tried to pet him. She realised with relief that she could finally see through him; the riddle of the human etch-a-sketch had been solved.

"Steven, when I said that, I didn't mean it from my side," she explained gently, careful not to make any sudden moves. "I thought I was speaking for you."

"What makes you think you weren't?" Hyde was not giving anything away.

"New evidence has come to light," Jackie said. "New sparkly evidence. Why didn't you tell me that the birthday present was from you, not Eric?"

Hyde shrugged. "It was no big deal. Plus I don't rat out my friends."

"But going after their girlfriends is OK?" Jackie shook her head wryly. "You really are full of every good and bad thing at the same time."

"Hey, I tried really hard not to care about you," Hyde defended himself. "Look, just forget about that week at the cabin. I don't know what I was thinking. You and Eric belong together. I'll bet if you go and track him down he'll take you back in a heartbeat."

"That wouldn't be any good. Besides the fact that he's obviously crazy about Donna, which would put a real crimp in our relationship, I'm just not in love with him anymore." Jackie slowly approached the angry young man until she was an arm's length away. "Steven, you and I have been at cross purposes for so long. Don't you think it's time we tried some honest communication?"

Hyde took in the picture that was Jackie; to him she was perfection from her pink toenails to her midnight hair. One look into her beautiful eyes and his buried hopes were staging a speedy resurrection. But he could not forget the lesson that had been drummed into him every day of his life; the people who are supposed to love you leave. Just last week Jackie had said she would not leave him, but then she went back to Eric. He would not be taken in again.

Jackie saw the war raging in him and knew she would have to play her ace to win this hand. She reached into her lavender drawstring purse and pulled out a piece of paper.

"Do you know what this is Steven? It's the IOU I won from you – good for one special favour of my choice."

Hyde raised his eyebrows. "What, you think you can buy me as your boyfriend? I think that transaction would be worth a lot more than twenty dollars."

"No. But I think 5 minutes of honesty would be a fair deal," Jackie fixed him with her most challenging look. "So how about it, Steven. You have to give me complete honesty for the next 5 minutes without any of your "that's cool's" and "whatever's". Do you think you can handle that?"

"Fine," Hyde ground out. "But five questions, not five minutes. My truth comes at $4.00 per answer."

"Fine," Jackie agreed. "First question – did me being Eric's girlfriend have anything to do with why you were attracted to me?"

"No. It just had a lot to do with why I tried to keep my distance."

"So that's why you kept acting so hot and cold towards me!"

"Yes. That's two."

"Hey, that last one wasn't even… oh, fine. Um, how long have you had feelings for me?"

"Since that first dancing lesson you gave me."

"You're kidding me! But that was like eight months ago. And you were dating Donna."

"What can I say? You took hotness to a whole new level, wearing my Led Zeppelin T-shirt and dancing to the Stones."

"So you're taking the Michael Jackson defence and blaming it on the boogie?" Jackie joked. "Don't answer that – that wasn't a question."

"Two left," Hyde reminded her, shifting uneasily on his feet. This complete honesty thing left him feeling uncomfortably vulnerable.

"Right. What does the J in Steven J. Hyde stand for?"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Nothing – it's just been bugging me for a while."

"James. Now come on, give me your last question so I can get the hell out of here. Being at school when you're not legally compelled to is just wrong."

"Alright," Jackie said, holding her breath. "My last question is… did you know that I am utterly, completely, out of my mind and hopelessly devoted in love with you?"

Hyde just stared at her as though he had just been sandbagged. She held his eyes so he could see the sincerity shining in hers. Finally he said in little more than a whisper, "No."

"Because I am, Steven," Jackie said, taking that final step towards him to close the distance. "And it's so much stronger and just more… real than anything I've ever felt before. If you still want to walk away from this I can't stop you but I think it would be a real waste because I love – " Her words were cut off by Hyde's lips taking possession of hers. He cradled her head in his hands as he surrendered to that same emotion he had recently renounced. But there was no fighting love, especially when your love was returned by someone as relentlessly persistent as Jackie Burkhart.

"God, Jackie," he groaned. "You better know your own mind this time."

"I do," she assured between delicious, soul-deep kisses. "And what's more, I know yours now. You are not the callous desperado you make yourself out to be. Underneath that hard shell you are as soft and sweet as ice-cream."

"Oh, you think so?" he mocked.

"Mmm hmm. You're my own puddin' pop."

"Don't _ever_ call me that again," he warned. Jackie just smiled and pulled on his collar until his head was brought back down to a kissing level.

………………………………………………

"Well, look who's finally joined the party," Kelso commented loudly as Jackie and Hyde entered the prom, slightly rumpled and glowing.

"Hey, Kelso," Hyde greeted. Kelso just fixed him with a disgruntled look. "What's with you?"

"Great! First Eric and Donna, now you and Jackie! That's another ten bucks I've lost to Fez." He grumpily handed over a greenback to the dark skinned boy gloating at his side.

"You two had a pool going, didn't you?" Hyde deduced. "Damn it, Kelso, what have I told you about including me in your stupid bets?"

"That I should back you because you always win?"

"Exactly," Hyde said, pulling Jackie against him to illustrate his point.

"Oh, I wouldn't be bragging just yet, Hyde," Eric said as he and Donna joined the gang.

"Why's that?" Hyde pokered up at what sounded like a challenge from Jackie's ex.

"Because you and I don't have much say in tonight's outcome. This was all arranged by our charming ladies." Eric fingered his blue tie. "Look at what we're wearing, man! We've been bagged and tagged like light bellied Brent geese."

As Hyde noticed for the first time that his outfit matched Jackie's, he turned an outraged face towards her.

"What?" she replied. "Oh, like we should leave our romantic destinies in the hands of two boys? I don't think so! By the way, nice work with the guilt trip this afternoon, Donna. I wasn't sure if you could pull off a tear storm convincingly, but you proved me wrong."

"It was all that coaching you gave me. I couldn't have done it without you," Donna replied, meeting Jackie's hand for a celebratory high five.

"Man, you guys are in so much trouble," Kelso declared with a wide goofy grin.

"Yes, this is true," Fez agreed, just before the smug smile fell off his face. "Aii! Why can't I be in that kind of trouble?"

"Well, if you morons will excuse us, I'm taking my particular trouble out onto the dance floor." Hyde tugged Jackie along behind him, but not before he exchanged a brief nod and a smile with Eric. As he held Jackie in his arms, swaying to Elton John, he decided that there were worse things in life than being bagged, tagged and tamed.

THE END

**A.N. Phew! My longest story yet. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I may revisit this story sometime in the future to write an epilogue, but for now I'm closing the book.**

**To any disappointed EJ shippers out there, I have to say that my initial plan was to have an EJ ending, which is why Hyde was such a creep at the beginning. But then the story took on a life of its own and no matter what I did Hyde and Jackie would not stay away from each other. I guess I'm just a zennie at heart no matter how hard I try for new directions, but honestly, in all the great EJ stories I've read (and there are some real beauties out there), they always lose me whenever Eric and Jackie have sex. It's like "Nope, not feeling it". Now, Hyde and Jackie, on the other hand…**


End file.
